Try to win the girl over or let her go?

[toph99]

I have a dilemma... there is this girl that has been on my mind for months, we went out for a short time last year, and it ended on good terms. We're pretty much best friends now, but she says she would rather be my friend than my boyfriend. Do i try to get her to change her mind, or give up? she knows how i feel about her, she knows i treat her better than any of her other boyfriends, and she always tells me that she loves me. Do you think i have a chance at changing her mind or do i throw in the towel?

oh, and our relationship ended because her interest was sparked by her ex... but they are definitly done and over with, which is why we remained good friends. Seeing her every day just drives me nuts because i know i can't have her

 

[sheselectric]

tell her how you feel and see how she responds. but before you do that ask yourself if you could just be with her as a friend if she wanted to be. but i think it's worth taking another stab at. good luck!

 

[amnesiac]

<< but she says she would rather be my friend than my boyfriend >>



You'd have a better chance at appealing multiple death sentences in a Texas court than getting her to go out with you. Give it up.
Once a girl decides you're a friend, that's all you'll ever be.

 

[Stark]

you're in the friend zone. don't hold your breath for her.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Be yourself. If she likes who you are, you don't have to "win" her over. If you're trying and you have to "win her over" you'll be "winning" her the rest of your life if you want to keep her cuz that's what she's fallen in love with.

nik

 

[fatalbert]

do or do not, there is no try



anyway, back on topic

if you are friends now you might as well try to win her over, but don't be pushy or overbearing, just be extra-nice and try to spark something, i.e. random flowers, that sort of thing

 

[toph99]

<<

<< but she says she would rather be my friend than my boyfriend >>



You'd have a better chance at appealing multiple death sentences in a Texas court than getting her to go out with you. Give it up.
Once a girl decides you're a friend, that's all you'll ever be. >>



yeah but i was her friend when we first went out she seems to be the exception to that rule, which is why i am even still thinking of persuing this

 

[Koing]

<< Seeing her every day just drives me nuts because i know i can't have her >>



I would have said give it one last go if you ended on good terms which you did. But the relationship ended with her being interested in her ex. I don't know about you but I'd never want to feel '2nd best in a serious relationship' if that is if you want a serious relationship with her. And not for some fun. If your just out for some fun then i say give it a try and if it works it works and it not then look else where. But if you want a serious relationship I'd tend to not go for another try as she split with you.

Koing

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

<< Do you think i have a chance at changing her mind or do i throw in the towel? >>

Sorry but in my opinion, throw in the towel.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<< she says she would rather be my friend than my boyfriend >>

Do as she asks and hope you don't have one of those girls that wants one thing, says another, and expects you to figure it all out without her telling you.

nik (says to be her friend -let her go)

 

[gopunk]

GIVE UP AND RUN!

she *loves* you in the way that you love your best friend... the "i like to call and talk to you" way, not the "i want to jump your bone" way.

 

[Hammer]

get her very very drunk

It is the only known countermeasure to the friend maneuver.

 

[Blieb]

she needs time without you there for her to realize how special you are ...

I knew a girl like that a few years ago ... I woulda given anything for her to be mine ... but she was in that flirty needy "friend" mode ...

I haven't slept alone in almost 2 years. She's mine.



(so give up for now, but not forever, I think is the moral)

 

[Nil]

Repeat after me.. "We don't luv dem hoes". Now, don't you feel better?

J/K

If you want her.. go get her tiger! BUT... if you have to ask someone, you prolly ought to move on.

 

[Orsorum]

<< get her very very drunk

It is the only known countermeasure to the friend maneuver. >>



lol So true... and proven to work, too.

 

[eviltommy]

slap her on the ass.

 

[Sir Fredrick]

The harder you try the worse it'll be. Be her friend and if going out is the right thing she'll come around to it. If you push for more she'll probably pull away if she really doesn't want more.

 

[ThaGrandCow]

<<

<<

<< but she says she would rather be my friend than my boyfriend >>



You'd have a better chance at appealing multiple death sentences in a Texas court than getting her to go out with you. Give it up.
Once a girl decides you're a friend, that's all you'll ever be. >>



yeah but i was her friend when we first went out she seems to be the exception to that rule, which is why i am even still thinking of persuing this >>

And she gave you the one chance to move beyond that. It's like winning the lottery. You won and blew your load, the relationship ended. The chances of you getting back in there are worse than having ultra hot supermodels showing up at your house and having a wrestling match in a kiddie pool full of pudding.

Give up and move on. You're hung up on this girl because you know you can't have her. As soon as you find someone else you'll be over her.

 

[dhans1]

You can always try to make her jealous by "appearing" to be interested in another girl. Or even get into another relationship and see how it goes. That will put some distance between you two and she will come to find that she wants to be with you and if she is jealous then she will think it must be because I like him as more than just a friend.

Remember, nice guys usually do finish last. It sounds like you have "gone for it" allready by telling her how you feel directly and she didn't go for that. So, it's time to pull out the "let's make her jealous" card. At least it makes you look like your not sitting around waiting for her (girls don't like that). If you are somewhat hard to get, it makes the relationship more exciting for them.

 

[dhans1]

BTW, putting distance between you two will seem counter intuitive and it will be really hard, but it usually works out in the end.

 

[pyonir]

<< she needs time without you there for her to realize how special you are ...

I knew a girl like that a few years ago ... I woulda given anything for her to be mine ... but she was in that flirty needy "friend" mode ...

I haven't slept alone in almost 2 years. She's mine.



(so give up for now, but not forever, I think is the moral) >>


i would have to agree with you. although i still sleep alone, as i don't even know what state she lives in now.

let it go man...it's friends or nothing.

 

[slikmunks]

just be friends man... eventually, if something happens, it happens... but when a girl decides she wants to be your friend, not your girlfriend, it's not up to you to change it... it's up to her... so just chill and have fun

 

[Wolfsraider]

let her go or you will run into this again and again

if she really was intrested in coming back you wouldn't be here asking this and
if she comes back do you really want/need a repeat performance?

my .02

 

[joohang]

<< you're in the friend zone. don't hold your breath for her. >>

 

[bizmark]

<< get her very very drunk

It is the only known countermeasure to the friend maneuver. >>



Agreed.

Or, just stop talking to her. Maybe that'll make her pull her head out of her ass.