Trust

[Willoughbyva]

Do you trust people to look out for you? Care, love, etc.

Or do you trust people to be themselves?

Know what I mean? Aren't these two different ways of looking at trust?


Perry

 

[Skiguy411]

I actually never trust anyone 100%. I have my doubts about everyone.

 

[Willoughbyva]

I know what you mean. I think people do what is in their own best interests most of the time. There is altruism and stuff like that though.



Perry

 

[moshquerade]

i trust someone until they burn me once.

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: moshquerade
i trust someone until they burn me once.

I used to do that. Not anymore. You have to earn my trust now...and you can lose it pretty quickly if you do.

 

[spidey07]

easy, I trust you until you give me reason not to.

but you're bringing care/love into the arena and that involves relationships of all kinds.

 

[dguy6789]

Originally posted by: spidey07
easy, I trust you until you give me reason not to.

but you're bringing care/love into the arena and that involves relationships of all kinds.

QFT.

I give people the benefit of the doubt and trust them until they give me reason to think otherwise.

 

[Willoughbyva]

So it is something that can be built up over time?

One of the reasons I ask is because I used to trust everyone. And if they did something to break that trust I still had compassion for them and would try to still help them. However some things happened one time and it left me feeling real bad. Nowdays it isn't about trust so much it is more about who I chose to get involved with. I still feel bad on occasion about some of the stuff in the past, but there isn't anything I can do about it now. I tend to not get involved with people much anymore, but that leaves me feeling lonely sometimes.

So another question I ask is if we are islands in life, or does or need for social interaction make us overcome a propensaty to be by ourselves.

Thanks for listening.

Perry

 

[TheGizmo]

depending on the type of person you are, and the type of people you roll with....... i dont trust people i meet for a good while, i'd have to know how they work on a much deeper level than just meeting them (male or female)..

as for family though, its also depends on your family, ethnicity, choices, etc..... i love my family and trust everyone in my immediate family because in the past 22 yrs, they have never done me wrong maybe pissed me off a few hundred times, but never for a reason that wasn't to my understanding.

 

[43st]

Trust has little to do with the person and everything to do with the situation. You may trust or distrust a situation but you should never let that cloud your long term view of the person. None of us are perfect after all, but that doesn't mean we don't try most of the time.

 

[Willoughbyva]

TheGizmo: Thanks for the insight. Yeah most of the time I am understanding of others problems and stuff.

Thera: I am a forgiving person with most people. Still it is good to keep in mind sometimes the value of a situation and others.


Perry

 

[Willoughbyva]

Thera: On second thought what is trust and a situation? Isn't that what most people think of as trust? That they will come through for them in a bad situation? My other question was that people will always be themselves, and it is true that people change over time. So I guess it has to deal with hanging around people long enough to see how they react to other situations? People can say one thing to you, then they can say and do other things with you or someone else at different times. So what is a good indicator of if a person is trustworthy?

 

[fitzov]

Those are two different meanings of 'trust' obviously. One is reliance on someone, the other is your expectations of him.

 

[BCYL]

Originally posted by: Skiguy411
I actually never trust anyone 100%. I have my doubts about everyone.

Same...

It takes a really long time for me to trust someone, thus I have very few really close friends...

and once they do something to lose that trust, they can never gain it back...

 

[Shawn]

Originally posted by: BCYL

Originally posted by: Skiguy411
I actually never trust anyone 100%. I have my doubts about everyone.

Same...

It takes a really long time for me to trust someone, thus I have very few really close friends...

and once they do something to lose that trust, they can never gain it back...

same here

 

[43st]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
Thera: On second thought what is trust and a situation? Isn't that what most people think of as trust? That they will come through for them in a bad situation? My other question was that people will always be themselves, and it is true that people change over time. So I guess it has to deal with hanging around people long enough to see how they react to other situations? People can say one thing to you, then they can say and do other things with you or someone else at different times. So what is a good indicator of if a person is trustworthy?

Some people are bad with money. Maybe you have a good friend that's like this. Would you lend them cash to pay some late bills? Maybe you know someone who is always late to an event but would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. Would you ask him to take your wife to the hospital when she went into labor?

I guess my point is that good people can have bad habits or traits. This shouldn't make them "untrustworthy" as a person or not worthy as a friend.

 

[Willoughbyva]

Yes there are various levels of trust. And people can be good at one thing and not at another. I read somewhere that people only have one or two great friends their entire life. In order to be a great friend I would think that you would have to really trust that person. I guess I am waiting for those one or two great friends because I don't seem to have that many great friends that I am close to. It troubles me because I am a fairly laid back person. I don't judge people on money or to a certain extent looks. I was kind of contemplating why I have no people in my life I feel like I can really trust with things. I guess I just wish I had a normal life like everyone else. I used to have some people who I could trust, but they have all passed away in the pasy 6 years. All of them. I tend to gravitate to older people for some reason.

Thanks for everyones advice.

Perry

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: moshquerade
i trust someone until they burn me once.

I used give people the benefit of the doubt. A couple of burns, and that was the end of that.

My instinct is still to take people at face value, until they show me otherwise. Now I have to fight that, and it really fracking sucks.

 

[Willoughbyva]

Sorry sixone. I know what you mean. Life experiences can be something sometimes.

Hope you are doing well.

Perry

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
Sorry sixone. I know what you mean. Life experiences can be something sometimes.

Hope you are doing well.

Perry

Thanks.

This too shall pass.

 

[Willoughbyva]

So I guess it needs to be said that with some things there is no one to trust? My niece used to say this all the time. I think she got it from the X-files, but I guess there really are situations where that is the best thing to do? Hmm not a very pleasing thought.

Perry

 

[xtknight]

I don't "trust" anybody because nobody can ever be perfect. I can trust that they would never do anything intentionally bad, but that's about it. I don't expect people to remember stuff for me and I don't give people the benefit of the doubt. That said, I would give more trust to my parents than anyone else. After that, SO, and after that, my best friends. I'm not perfect either. I forget things.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
So I guess it needs to be said that with some things there is no one to trust? My niece used to say this all the time. I think she got it from the X-files, but I guess there really are situations where that is the best thing to do? Hmm not a very pleasing thought.

Perry

As De Niro's character said in the movie Ronin, "when there is any doubt, there is no doubt." People will always let you down, sooner or later. You can be smart about it, but as Thera said, no one is perfect. No one gives 100% every minute of every day. It's a matter of keeping your expectations low, so that if you're surprised, it's for the good.

 

[Willoughbyva]

Yeah I guess I am really talking about emotional trust. Or how you are treated. I don't know really. I guess I will just let this thread drop.

Thanks to those that posted.

Perry

Oh didn't see your post sixone. Yeah keep low expectations. I know people aren't perfect. I guess I think about past experiences of trust and judgement between myself and other people/family. I think i just need to let it go and not think about this stuff so much.

Perry

 

[xtknight]

This is an interesting topic. I wonder how trust relates to teasing. Can you trust people who are known to tease you around more than usual? Maybe there is an underlying level of humanity through which one simply does not pass, even the most "goofy" people, so that you can trust them with serious things.