loool this shit is gold...
Twas the night before Infrastructure Week, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The boots were licked next to the chimney with care
In hopes that Donald Trump soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while memories of school shootings danced in their heads.
And Mama in her snuggy, and I in MAGA cap,
had just shit our pants when we saw kneeling Kaep.
When inside my skull there arose such a clatter,
I called the police, and yelled Blue Lives Matter.
Away to the desk I rode my rascal scooter,
I opened up explorer on my laptop computer.
The light of the screen on my skin white as snow
gave the whole room a sick pallid glow
I logged onto twitter when what should appear,
but a tweetstorm from Trump, his pants wet with fear.
With a little click-clacking, so lively and quick,
I typed up a message, riding his dick.
More rapid than eagles, the tweet bots they came,
and liked and retweeted my comments without shame:
"Fuck Clinton! Fuck Bernie!
Fuck Mueller and Comey!
Fuck Schumer and Pelosi!
And Obama and Romney!
There was no collusion!
Now we must build a wall!
Mexico will pay, will pay,
Will pay for it all!"
And then, in a moment, I heard a notification,
the shitlibs and commies destroying this nation.
They mocked me and laughed that Trump's going to jail,
And his dumb kids will be held on charges without bail.
To console myself I watched videos of old rallies of Trump's,
The future president traveling to fly-over states to address crowds dumb as stumps.
The racism was palpable and he knew the crowd was ripe,
As his pants were getting droopier as he filled up his diap.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like cheetos, his nose like a cherry!
His weird butthole mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the chins on his chin were orange as a tangelo.
The stump of a dick nestled under yeti pubes,
Would undoubtedly be sucked eagerly by backwater rubes.
He had tiny hands, bitch tits, and a belly,
that shook when he walked, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right racist old elf,
He was 239 pounds, at least that's what he told himself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke like a fool, and went straight to his work,
and filled all the idiots with hope for coal jobs like a jerk.
And sniffing coke snot back inside of his nose,
and giving a wave, the ovation it rose.
He waddled off stage, to his fried dinner of hot cheese,
And away they all flew, to the next rally for nazis,
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"I will only hire the best people. Remember sailor. We"
- a glistening hodor
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