Traffic Tales

[futurefields]

She swerved over two lanes to get in front of me at the light and then proceeded to go "i'm trying to piss you off" levels of slow, meandering over double yellows in the process

Share your traffic tales itt

 

[Ketchup]

My favorite was from several years ago. I am in the middle lane, about to be the left lane, as it was three lanes about to go down to 2. And by "about to", I mean we had passed all the warning signs and the left lane was now yellow lines. In the span of 2 seconds or less, I see a red Cobalt coming up beside me, followed by a huge cloud of dust. And no more red Cobalt, lol! That's right, she actually ran straight into the dirt median because she wouldn't get over for whatever reason. Still one of the funniest things I remember seeing while driving

 

[IronWing]

I posted these a few years back, but they still be good.

I put about 8000 miles behind me this summer and I thought I'd single out some folks for special recognition. Feel free to add your summer picks.

To the guy taking pictures at Hoover Dam who stepped backwards off the curb in front of my truck: I'm sorry my truck made startling noises as it came to a halt eight inches from your ass. I hope the next person who gets between you and your Darwin award is more quiet about it so as not to earn the black scowl you offered me.

To the young Japanese gentleman, in new cowboy hat, taking pictures at Monument Valley: I understand. The shot was perfect, the sun just right, the foreground green with recent rains offsetting the red buttes. The lonesome road. I could see the exact shot you saw. However setting up your tripod on the centerline of a federal highway running through a major tourist area on Labor Day weekend is just plain stupid.

To the young, so very young, mother holding her 6-9 month old infant: I have no children of my own so I try to be non-judgmental about the parenting skills of others. However I can't help but think that holding your infant up through the sun roof of your car while it speeds along at seventy miles per hour through downtown Tucson might not be in the best interests of the child.

To the motorhead on his way from Salt Lake City, driving through the dark, rainy night, just trying get to Lake Powell for some fun and relaxation. That was a beautiful boat you had attached to the rather large and attractive camper you were pulling behind your pickup as you made your way over the mountains. Think about how folks would have admired it all the more had you taken the time to hook up the trailer lights so they could have gotten a better look.

 

[FeuerFrei]

Cincinnati has a bizarre custom of curbside parking at certain times of the day. Signs indicate legal parking times. Which means that a road with two lanes will at times have the curb lane blocked by parked vehicles - so you have to be prepared to merge left if a parked van looms ahead. On one occasion, I was in the curb lane and I spot a car parked dead ahead, so I accelerated to pass the car cruising on my left so I could merge in front of it and exit the curb lane. My plan worked, I overtook the vehicle beside me, merging into the open lane with little time to spare as the parked car was quickly nearing. The guy driving closely behind me was not so fortunate, as my sudden merge revealed the stationary car ahead of him. I heard a crunch behind me as he plowed into it at speed, 30-40mph. I winced and continued on my way.

 

[Scarpozzi]

Cincinnati has a bizarre custom of curbside parking at certain times of the day. Signs indicate legal parking times. Which means that a road with two lanes will at times have the curb lane blocked by parked vehicles - so you have to be prepared to merge left if a parked van looms ahead. On one occasion, I was in the curb lane and I spot a car parked dead ahead, so I accelerated to pass the car cruising on my left so I could merge in front of it and exit the curb lane. My plan worked, I overtook the vehicle beside me, merging into the open lane with little time to spare as the parked car was quickly nearing. The guy driving behind me was not so fortunate, as my sudden merge revealed the stationary car ahead of him. I heard a crunch behind me as he plowed into it at speed, 30-40mph. I winced and continued on my way.

They do that in DC too, but have tow trucks on standby daily to haul the parked cars out ASAP.

 

[NesuD]

Old Granny turned left of the eway exit ramp right in front of me forcing me into the right lane to avoid her then she proceeded to come into the right lane where I was and run me off the road. I believe she was deaf because my horn blaring the entire time elicited no reaction from her whatsoever.

 

[FeuerFrei]

They do that in DC too, but have tow trucks on standby daily to haul the parked cars out ASAP.

O really? If you don't clear the lane, they do it for you? They need flashing signage, like a crosswalk sign, that activates at the proper time of day to warn the unwitting.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I'm driving to work this morning, I'm in the left most lane on a 3 lane freeway doing about 75mph, same speed as the car in front of me and this toolbox in a Jeep Wrangler comes up behind me and gets right on my ass. I slow a bit to give me more room to the guy in front in case he slows suddenly and he backs off. I maintain this pace for about a mile or so until I can move over and he goes roaring by me only to get stuck behind the car that was in front of me. Eventually, that car moves over to let him passed. A few miles up the road we both merged onto another freeway and I passed him so really all that tailgating got him was nothing. Douche...

 

[BoomerD]

Yesterday, I was driving down the road...came upon a 4-way stop...and OMFG! there were cars at all 4 sides!

I hate rush hour traffic.