tough situation (for my wife) that I've never been in

[paulxcook]

He's been in the hospital for a few weeks, the same hospital she works in. She has been able to see him quite a bit, and up until today it looked like he would recover, but things got bad and it's pretty clear he's going to die in the next 48 hrs.

Any tips on what to do? I've never had to comfort someone when a loved one has died. I didn't know her grandfather very well, so I'm not nearly as sad as she is obviously. I don't really know how you'd advise someone to help someone else through grief, so this might not be an easy question to answer.

edited topic title to be less me-centric looking.

 

[child of wonder]

Just be there for her. That's all you can do.

Everyone deals with death in different ways. Keep your ears open and make yourself available if she wants to talk, stare off into space, or whatever.

 

[Tobolo]

just be there and do not say that "i understand what your going through"

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Tobolo
just be there and do not say that "i understand what your going through"

excellent advice.

 

[TallBill]

Originally posted by: child of wonder
Just be there for her. That's all you can do.

Everyone deals with death in different ways. Keep your ears open and make yourself available if she wants to talk, stare off into space, or whatever.

Pretty much yeah.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Just be patient. She'll let you know what she needs.

 

[Kelemvor]

Offer her lots of sex to take her mind off it.

Seriously though, jsut being there to provide emotional comfort is what she will need.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: paulxcook
He's been in the hospital for a few weeks, the same hospital she works in. She has been able to see him quite a bit, and up until today it looked like he would recover, but things got bad and it's pretty clear he's going to die in the next 48 hrs.

Any tips on what to do? I've never had to comfort someone when a loved one has died. I didn't know her grandfather very well, so I'm not nearly as sad as she is obviously. I don't really know how you'd advise someone to help someone else through grief, so this might not be an easy question to answer.

There is nothing you can do. Just be there for her and let her know that you love her.

 

[silverpig]

You just have to realize that you can't actually make her feel better. She's gonna be sad, it's gonna hurt, and it'll not be pleasant. Be there for her, don't smother her with extra attention (sometimes she might just want to be alone), but let her know you're there. Time will heal the wounds.

 

[Lola]

Don't get annoyed if she cries and cries and cries. Let her talk if she needs to talk, let her be "removed" if that is how she wants to be.
It is hard to know how each person reacts differently to a loved one passing away. As others said, just let her know you will always be there for her, in any way she needs.

 

[paulxcook]

Thanks for the advice folks.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Tobolo
just be there and do not say that "i understand what your going through"

excellent advice.

If I may ask, why is that a bad thing? Doesn't everyone experience loss at some point in time?