Here's a transcript of e-mails between me and the owner of Totally Awesome Computers!
Me:
I was wondering if you could configure me the super nutsack system.
I'd like to spend no more then $4,000 and i need benchmark results proving how fast the super nutsack configuration is. I really want to go balls out on this, and would appreciate your help.
Totally Awesome Computers:
Howdy sir,
Blabla bla, insert expensive computer configurations here
Only $3099 - All Prices Reflect 2% Cash/Check Discount
This is the same system we just sent to Maximum PC that will easily be the fastest computer ever tested. We now can even beef it up a bit by adding the A7N motherboard and the new 2000PR AMD. It would only cost about $100 more. Or we can go all the way with the new 2.2 Intel setup for a bit more than that. This system benchmarks over 8100 on 3Dmark2001 which is much faster than the fastest system ever tested by the magazines to date. That score was achieved with the A7V and the 1900PR as well so you can imagine how Totally Awesome that is. Where would you like me to ship one to fine sir?
Me:
That's not quite nuts enough for me. Can you possibly take about 400 or so old 486's and make them into a Cray Super Awesome Computer? I saved the 486's because i knew some day just like the Atari, these would be collectors items. I'll be honest with you, i just wanna browse porn - and lots of it. So, i'll need a big hard drive, if you know what i mean.
Totally Awesome Computers:
Those that view a lot of porn are almost guaranteed to never get an attractive girl of their own without paying for it. And then after you die you won?t go to heaven either. Just a thought.
Me:
I was wondering if you could configure me the super nutsack system.
I'd like to spend no more then $4,000 and i need benchmark results proving how fast the super nutsack configuration is. I really want to go balls out on this, and would appreciate your help.
Totally Awesome Computers:
Howdy sir,
Blabla bla, insert expensive computer configurations here
Only $3099 - All Prices Reflect 2% Cash/Check Discount
This is the same system we just sent to Maximum PC that will easily be the fastest computer ever tested. We now can even beef it up a bit by adding the A7N motherboard and the new 2000PR AMD. It would only cost about $100 more. Or we can go all the way with the new 2.2 Intel setup for a bit more than that. This system benchmarks over 8100 on 3Dmark2001 which is much faster than the fastest system ever tested by the magazines to date. That score was achieved with the A7V and the 1900PR as well so you can imagine how Totally Awesome that is. Where would you like me to ship one to fine sir?
Me:
That's not quite nuts enough for me. Can you possibly take about 400 or so old 486's and make them into a Cray Super Awesome Computer? I saved the 486's because i knew some day just like the Atari, these would be collectors items. I'll be honest with you, i just wanna browse porn - and lots of it. So, i'll need a big hard drive, if you know what i mean.
Totally Awesome Computers:
Those that view a lot of porn are almost guaranteed to never get an attractive girl of their own without paying for it. And then after you die you won?t go to heaven either. Just a thought.
Facebook
Twitter