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top 12 things a kligon programmer would say

Schadenfroh

Schadenfroh

Elite Member
12.. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
11.. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual opteron processors if I am
to do battle with this code!
10.. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
original Klingon.
9.. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
8.. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and
quality assurance people in its wake.
7.. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have
'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
6.. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
5.. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again.
4.. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
3.. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare
to die!
2.. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
stand!
1.. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship
it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!
0.. the poster of this thread sucks at grammar
 
That's old but modified a bit from what I remember:

Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:

1. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
2. By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
3. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
4. Our competitors are without honor!
5. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
6. This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
7. Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
8. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
9. My program has just dumped Stova Core!
10. Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!


😀
 
Specifications are for the weak and timid!

You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!

Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!

What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.

Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they always win them.

Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

A true Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!

Klingon software does not have bugs. It has features, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.

You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.

Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
 
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