Top 10 white lies Men tell women
- Thread starter GoingUp
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bunker
Lifer
- Apr 23, 2001
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10. "No, you don't look fat"
The following situation is familiar to most guys in relationships: You and your girlfriend are preparing for a night out; and, as you wait for her to finish up, she comes out of the bedroom and asks, "Do I look fat in this?"
The best answer most men have come up with is, "No, of course you don't look fat," followed by "you're beautiful" or other flattering comments.
Other than ignoring your girlfriend's question, this is the only way to come out of the situation unscathed; any other answers will be twisted into something you don't mean -- in which case door slamming will likely ensue.
9. "I don't enjoy going to strip joints"
Strip joints, like pornographic movies, appeal to our most primal instincts of sex, which few men (if any) can ignore. It's simply a shame that our girlfriends can't accept that we like seeing beautiful women dancing naked on stage.
8. "We'll talk about it later"
This little phrase helps most of us end an argument or potential squabble. In most cases, we really don't want to "talk about it later"; we never want to talk about it. Putting off the possibility of a blowup gives us some time to convince her of the uselessness of arguing over something so minute.
7. "You remind me of Jennifer Lopez"
The ultimate compliment to a woman can also be your biggest lie. Comparing her to an incredibly beautiful movie star may raise her self-confidence, but you have to ask yourself: Is she really that hot? Congrats to you if she is, but most of us aren't so lucky.
Our women are beautiful, but stretching the truth may actually do more harm than good in certain cases. It's all about timing -- don't lay it on too thick and you'll be getting breakfast in bed in no time.
6. "I love your cooking"
Since some women can't make toast without a recipe book, there has to be an "out" for guys who get stuck with the culinarily challenged. Your best bet is to grin and bear it. Hey, at least she's cooking for you.
That said, however, if you find yourself ingesting antacids by the truckload, perhaps you should start offering to help out with dinner. Otherwise, you may end up having to eat blackened food for years to come.
second page is formatted different
Number 5
I don't think of other women
Another denial of programmed emotions men face, this lie is usually called for, no matter how moral you are. You don't want to hurt your girlfriend, right? So, you have no choice but to deny that no other women (real or imaginary) are ever on your mind. If she believed you when you said, "I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you," this will be a piece of cake. Just be sure not to precede this lie with #7 on the list.
Providing you don't think about other women all the time, you're in the clear because fantasizing or drooling over a hot babe in a magazine from time to time is no crime -- even a psychiatrist would tell you that.
Number 4
You can use my razor to shave your legs
If the thought of your girlfriend's legs full of hairy fuzz wasn't unsightly enough, some men have to deal with a recycled razor -- that is, one of your own beard-busters. The thing is, confronting her about this may not be worth it, since the argument could really escalate. Instead, buy her a razor for when she spends the night at your place, and hide your own.
Number 3
I love Meg Ryan movies
Some untruths exist simply to help you save your energy and this is certainly one of them. Instead of explaining how unrealistic, silly and boring romantic comedies are, it is better to simply tune out during the movie and reap the benefits of a happy, romantic-minded girlfriend afterward.
Get yourself a big bag of popcorn, candy and a drink, and when you're done, head to the bathroom and chat it up with all the other guys who love Meg Ryan movies.
Number 2
I love spending time with your mom
Sometimes, the key to a woman's heart is through her family, even though they may be more obnoxious than the Costanzas from Seinfeld. It is worth putting up with them if you get the girl, especially if you are really serious about the relationship. Admit to your girlfriend that you do, in fact, enjoy going over to her parents' house for dinner.
A fortunate guy will have the best in-laws ever, but, if history is any indication, the odds of this are quite slim. Therefore, enduring her mother's quirks, comments and behavior becomes an important part of your repertoire, as does your insistence that family time is fun.
Number 1
I'm sorry
Whether it's to escape a sticky situation or nip an argument in the bud, these two little words can come in quite handy. Used sparingly, this device is your greatest route to turning your girlfriend's scowl into a smile, if it's said with conviction. She could be going on about one of your idiosyncrasies or something you have said and all you have to do is stop her, say "I'm sorry" followed by a promise to change, and everything will be all right, at least for the time being.
This phrase should be familiar, as it is the same one used when your mother scolded you as a child. As such, this lie has stood the test of time and remains the weapon of choice for many stricken males.
The following situation is familiar to most guys in relationships: You and your girlfriend are preparing for a night out; and, as you wait for her to finish up, she comes out of the bedroom and asks, "Do I look fat in this?"
The best answer most men have come up with is, "No, of course you don't look fat," followed by "you're beautiful" or other flattering comments.
Other than ignoring your girlfriend's question, this is the only way to come out of the situation unscathed; any other answers will be twisted into something you don't mean -- in which case door slamming will likely ensue.
9. "I don't enjoy going to strip joints"
Strip joints, like pornographic movies, appeal to our most primal instincts of sex, which few men (if any) can ignore. It's simply a shame that our girlfriends can't accept that we like seeing beautiful women dancing naked on stage.
8. "We'll talk about it later"
This little phrase helps most of us end an argument or potential squabble. In most cases, we really don't want to "talk about it later"; we never want to talk about it. Putting off the possibility of a blowup gives us some time to convince her of the uselessness of arguing over something so minute.
7. "You remind me of Jennifer Lopez"
The ultimate compliment to a woman can also be your biggest lie. Comparing her to an incredibly beautiful movie star may raise her self-confidence, but you have to ask yourself: Is she really that hot? Congrats to you if she is, but most of us aren't so lucky.
Our women are beautiful, but stretching the truth may actually do more harm than good in certain cases. It's all about timing -- don't lay it on too thick and you'll be getting breakfast in bed in no time.
6. "I love your cooking"
Since some women can't make toast without a recipe book, there has to be an "out" for guys who get stuck with the culinarily challenged. Your best bet is to grin and bear it. Hey, at least she's cooking for you.
That said, however, if you find yourself ingesting antacids by the truckload, perhaps you should start offering to help out with dinner. Otherwise, you may end up having to eat blackened food for years to come.
second page is formatted different
Number 5
I don't think of other women
Another denial of programmed emotions men face, this lie is usually called for, no matter how moral you are. You don't want to hurt your girlfriend, right? So, you have no choice but to deny that no other women (real or imaginary) are ever on your mind. If she believed you when you said, "I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you," this will be a piece of cake. Just be sure not to precede this lie with #7 on the list.
Providing you don't think about other women all the time, you're in the clear because fantasizing or drooling over a hot babe in a magazine from time to time is no crime -- even a psychiatrist would tell you that.
Number 4
You can use my razor to shave your legs
If the thought of your girlfriend's legs full of hairy fuzz wasn't unsightly enough, some men have to deal with a recycled razor -- that is, one of your own beard-busters. The thing is, confronting her about this may not be worth it, since the argument could really escalate. Instead, buy her a razor for when she spends the night at your place, and hide your own.
Number 3
I love Meg Ryan movies
Some untruths exist simply to help you save your energy and this is certainly one of them. Instead of explaining how unrealistic, silly and boring romantic comedies are, it is better to simply tune out during the movie and reap the benefits of a happy, romantic-minded girlfriend afterward.
Get yourself a big bag of popcorn, candy and a drink, and when you're done, head to the bathroom and chat it up with all the other guys who love Meg Ryan movies.
Number 2
I love spending time with your mom
Sometimes, the key to a woman's heart is through her family, even though they may be more obnoxious than the Costanzas from Seinfeld. It is worth putting up with them if you get the girl, especially if you are really serious about the relationship. Admit to your girlfriend that you do, in fact, enjoy going over to her parents' house for dinner.
A fortunate guy will have the best in-laws ever, but, if history is any indication, the odds of this are quite slim. Therefore, enduring her mother's quirks, comments and behavior becomes an important part of your repertoire, as does your insistence that family time is fun.
Number 1
I'm sorry
Whether it's to escape a sticky situation or nip an argument in the bud, these two little words can come in quite handy. Used sparingly, this device is your greatest route to turning your girlfriend's scowl into a smile, if it's said with conviction. She could be going on about one of your idiosyncrasies or something you have said and all you have to do is stop her, say "I'm sorry" followed by a promise to change, and everything will be all right, at least for the time being.
This phrase should be familiar, as it is the same one used when your mother scolded you as a child. As such, this lie has stood the test of time and remains the weapon of choice for many stricken males.
I would have to agree with pretty much everything on there. I just hope my fiancee doesn't read it or I will have to come with new BS answers to those questions!! LOL
I went on a double date to
How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, and the other guy and I certainly agreed about how much we liked it.
How could you say "you don't look fat" and "you remind of JLo" without it being obvious one of the two is a lie?
If I told my wife she reminded me of JLo she would probably wonder why I thought she had a gigantic a$$.
If I told my wife she reminded me of JLo she would probably wonder why I thought she had a gigantic a$$.
lol #1 takes the cake.
I can't remember how many times I've said that just to shut her up.
80% of the time I don't even remember what I was sorry for
lol
I can't remember how many times I've said that just to shut her up.
80% of the time I don't even remember what I was sorry for
lol
yeah
i dont think i would ever tell anyone i cared about they reminded me of J Lo.
number 8, however, is perfect.
"9. 'I don't enjoy going to strip joints'
Strip joints, like pornographic movies, appeal to our most primal instincts of sex, which few men (if any) can ignore. It's simply a shame that our girlfriends can't accept that we like seeing beautiful women dancing naked on stage."
Uhmmm . . . that means someone lied to me. Wow! I just learned something. As I said, I want him to look at me dancing 'cuz I'm just as beautiful if not more beautiful. It doesn't make sense that many guys will be looking at a magazine with my pic and fantasising but my significant other has to go to strip joints to see other women. Additionally, these guys are usually hypocrites. You want to be a stripper and they think absolutely not, but it's okay for them to go see strippers. I've said it before, I'll kick his a$$ out. When he's done fantasising then he can come back.
"8. 'We'll talk about it later'
This little phrase helps most of us end an argument or potential squabble. In most cases, we really don't want to 'talk about it later'; we never want to talk about it. Putting off the possibility of a blowup gives us some time to convince her of the uselessness of arguing over something so minute."
I'm familiar with this one. The only problem is, I have a tendency to remember things. I won't forget it, and I know when he's trying to evade it. Screw him. I would play the same game. So you come back to me pretending all is good, I'll give you a cold shoulder and strictly talk biz. No "lover" mood. I'm just answering questions or doing something, but you better address what you said you would later. Frankly, what's said there is rubbish. I don't consider myself someone who nags on things or argues about minute things. If I argue about something, it's because it means a lot to me. If it doesn't mean a lot to you, then maybe we weren't meant for each other. But hell there's just no way I'll compromise on either of these two.
Strip joints, like pornographic movies, appeal to our most primal instincts of sex, which few men (if any) can ignore. It's simply a shame that our girlfriends can't accept that we like seeing beautiful women dancing naked on stage."
Uhmmm . . . that means someone lied to me. Wow! I just learned something. As I said, I want him to look at me dancing 'cuz I'm just as beautiful if not more beautiful. It doesn't make sense that many guys will be looking at a magazine with my pic and fantasising but my significant other has to go to strip joints to see other women. Additionally, these guys are usually hypocrites. You want to be a stripper and they think absolutely not, but it's okay for them to go see strippers. I've said it before, I'll kick his a$$ out. When he's done fantasising then he can come back.
"8. 'We'll talk about it later'
This little phrase helps most of us end an argument or potential squabble. In most cases, we really don't want to 'talk about it later'; we never want to talk about it. Putting off the possibility of a blowup gives us some time to convince her of the uselessness of arguing over something so minute."
I'm familiar with this one. The only problem is, I have a tendency to remember things. I won't forget it, and I know when he's trying to evade it. Screw him. I would play the same game. So you come back to me pretending all is good, I'll give you a cold shoulder and strictly talk biz. No "lover" mood. I'm just answering questions or doing something, but you better address what you said you would later. Frankly, what's said there is rubbish. I don't consider myself someone who nags on things or argues about minute things. If I argue about something, it's because it means a lot to me. If it doesn't mean a lot to you, then maybe we weren't meant for each other. But hell there's just no way I'll compromise on either of these two.
They should add.
gigapet
"No baby, you are the second woman I have been with, I was never a man whore, and I will never cheat on ya."
gigapet
"No baby, you are the second woman I have been with, I was never a man whore, and I will never cheat on ya."
#1 is definitely tops in my book, and the great thing is it's not a lie... I'm not sorry for what I said, but I am very sorry she took offence to what she thinks I meant. 99.999% of the times I say I'm sorry is because I said something in jest that she took seriously and it hurt her feelings, when all I was trying to do is make her laugh.
"I don't think of other women
Another denial of programmed emotions men face, this lie is usually called for, no matter how moral you are. You don't want to hurt your girlfriend, right? So, you have no choice but to deny that no other women (real or imaginary) are ever on your mind. If she believed you when you said, 'I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you,' this will be a piece of cake. Just be sure not to precede this lie with #7 on the list."
What if the question is whether or not you fantasise about your ex? Uhmm. . . .
Number one is no brainer. I caught up with the guys long time ago. I learned that they didn't always mean sorry. If it was something that really bothered me, he had to prove that he was sorry by actually talking indepth about it. Then in the process of talking, I can sense that he's really sorry with other things he says. If however he says he's sorry without justifying why, then it's simple: The next big offence he commits won't be forgivable even with a "I'm sorry". It's over.
Don't worry, some day I'll have the book I authored. I can see it being about relationships. The best part is, I'll be able to sell so many copies being a popular model and a strong woman who isn't an extreme feminist and not a woman who never learned from her mistakes. Some guys will love it, but most guys will hate it and hate me; but they couldn't escape my pictures.
Another denial of programmed emotions men face, this lie is usually called for, no matter how moral you are. You don't want to hurt your girlfriend, right? So, you have no choice but to deny that no other women (real or imaginary) are ever on your mind. If she believed you when you said, 'I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you,' this will be a piece of cake. Just be sure not to precede this lie with #7 on the list."
What if the question is whether or not you fantasise about your ex? Uhmm. . . .
Number one is no brainer. I caught up with the guys long time ago. I learned that they didn't always mean sorry. If it was something that really bothered me, he had to prove that he was sorry by actually talking indepth about it. Then in the process of talking, I can sense that he's really sorry with other things he says. If however he says he's sorry without justifying why, then it's simple: The next big offence he commits won't be forgivable even with a "I'm sorry". It's over.
Don't worry, some day I'll have the book I authored. I can see it being about relationships.
The best part is, I'll be able to sell so many copies being a popular model and a strong woman who isn't an extreme feminist and not a woman who never learned from her mistakes. Some guys will love it, but most guys will hate it and hate me; but they couldn't escape my pictures. Originally posted by: luvly
"I don't think of other women
Another denial of programmed emotions men face, this lie is usually called for, no matter how moral you are. You don't want to hurt your girlfriend, right? So, you have no choice but to deny that no other women (real or imaginary) are ever on your mind. If she believed you when you said, 'I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you,' this will be a piece of cake. Just be sure not to precede this lie with #7 on the list."
What if the question is whether or not you fantasise about your ex? Uhmm. . . .
Number one is no brainer. I caught up with the guys long time ago. I learned that they didn't always mean sorry. If it was something that really bothered me, he had to prove that he was sorry by actually talking indepth about it. Then in the process of talking, I can sense that he's really sorry with other things he says. If however he says he's sorry without justifying why, then it's simple: The next big offence he commits won't be forgivable even with a "I'm sorry". It's over.
Don't worry, some day I'll have the book I authored. I can see it being about relationships.
fantasize about my ex?... no way.. more like think how much more fulfilling and wonderful my wife is. I tend to scowl whenever my ex creeps back into my mind. (ex-gf I mean, I'm married now to my first and only wife)
I Like Stuff, cool then.
"Why can't people escape your pictures? Dare I ask?"?
[Skace:] It's simple: Most guys think with their *ahem!* The politicians, the lay man, the executives, you name them. And when they see pictures of you on magazines, products and billboards, that's all they can think of. So all they'll say is, she needs to shut up about relationships (or anything else), but they won't ultimately stop buying the materials.
"Why can't people escape your pictures? Dare I ask?"?
[Skace:] It's simple: Most guys think with their *ahem!* The politicians, the lay man, the executives, you name them. And when they see pictures of you on magazines, products and billboards, that's all they can think of. So all they'll say is, she needs to shut up about relationships (or anything else), but they won't ultimately stop buying the materials.
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