Here's what I have so far:
Top 10 things about marriage:
So, I was planning on sharing my top 10 things about marriage. Turns out one of them wasn?t PG so I left it off the list and now I have a top 9 things about marriage.
10. Dale, you never need to worry about being right about anything again. There?s only so much ?right? in the world and women seem to have a monopoly on it.
9. You don?t need to say goodbye after a date. No more bringing her home late to her parent?s place
8. Marriage is all about becoming one: One couple, one family, one house, one room, one bed, one toothbrush.
7. Real food. Dale, I know you?ve been batcheloring it for a few years now. Once Candace gets sick of you making her Kraft Dinner and telling her it?s Pasta Alfredo, she?ll come around and you?ll be eating well. If you thought the college ?Freshman 15? was bad, the marriage 20lbs is even worse. But oh so tasty.
6. you have an excellent reason to watch those movies you?ve secretly been pretending to hate. Take ?the Princes Diaries?, a pail of chocolate ice cream and haul your mattress in front of the TV. Dale, It?ll be worth your while to give up movies like Armageddon Now.
5. Twice the Christmas presents and twice the birthday presents. Of course you also have twice the mothers telling you to drive carefully.
4.
3.
2. Back Pimples. They?re a pain in the butt to try and pop yourself. Always just out of reach. Women, or at least some women seem to have a strange fascination with doing away with them. You?ll be turning around expecting to see her nibbling on something like a chimpanzee in a National Geographic Special.
Top 10 things about marriage:
So, I was planning on sharing my top 10 things about marriage. Turns out one of them wasn?t PG so I left it off the list and now I have a top 9 things about marriage.
10. Dale, you never need to worry about being right about anything again. There?s only so much ?right? in the world and women seem to have a monopoly on it.
9. You don?t need to say goodbye after a date. No more bringing her home late to her parent?s place
8. Marriage is all about becoming one: One couple, one family, one house, one room, one bed, one toothbrush.
7. Real food. Dale, I know you?ve been batcheloring it for a few years now. Once Candace gets sick of you making her Kraft Dinner and telling her it?s Pasta Alfredo, she?ll come around and you?ll be eating well. If you thought the college ?Freshman 15? was bad, the marriage 20lbs is even worse. But oh so tasty.
6. you have an excellent reason to watch those movies you?ve secretly been pretending to hate. Take ?the Princes Diaries?, a pail of chocolate ice cream and haul your mattress in front of the TV. Dale, It?ll be worth your while to give up movies like Armageddon Now.
5. Twice the Christmas presents and twice the birthday presents. Of course you also have twice the mothers telling you to drive carefully.
4.
3.
2. Back Pimples. They?re a pain in the butt to try and pop yourself. Always just out of reach. Women, or at least some women seem to have a strange fascination with doing away with them. You?ll be turning around expecting to see her nibbling on something like a chimpanzee in a National Geographic Special.
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