Top 10 signs of a cheating lover / spouse

[Buck Armstrong]

Originally posted by: ValkyrieofHouston

Originally posted by: dullard
I divorced my wife since she was at least emotionally cheating on me, probably more.

"1. They start working a lot of overtime" Check. She ran her own business with a partner, which closed at 10 pm, and the meetings just happened to run from 10 pm to 2 am (sometimes as late as 5 am).
"2. Your Lover / Spouse is no longer interested in sex" Check. She never was interested, but sex ended completely.
"3. They like to say " It's your imagination" Check, I suspected it.
"4. They use the internet excessively" Check. Saw the emails describing her body, lingerie she should wear, and the "I love yous".
"5. Suddenly wanting to do new sexual techniques" Nope. No sex = not wanting new techniques.
"6. You keep receiving hang up phone calls" Nope, the guys called her cell.
"7. They start hiding the cell / house phone bill" Nope, they were "work" calls from fellow male employees so she didn't hide them.
"8. You notice extra mileage on the odometer" Never bothered to check. I knew she was going out to couples bars and places with them that she'd never go to with me. So why bother checking mileage.
"9. They stop wearing their wedding ring" Check.
"10. And last - " I need my space" Check.

Honestly, I don't care if she actually physically cheated. The checks above were enough for me.

cKGunslinger, having just one or two of the signs is meaningless. I agree with you there. But once you suddenly get nearly 10 out of 10 all at the same time, it probably adds up. Think about it.

Wow, that sucks, now my question is what did you do to drive her way?

Jesus. Don't even try to hide it. You girls are shameless.

Maybe you missed the part where SHE cheated on HIM? I know you find this hard to believe, but the woman broke up the marriage and she is to blame, no matter what he did to "drive her away". Thats just a convenient excuse women use to convince themselves they're not evil.

Whoever cheated is at fault, male or female. Are you unhappy in your marriage? Get a fvcking divorce FIRST, then screw whoever you want. Not the other way around.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: CVSiN
It's clear that men are more prone to infidelity

Or that women are more willing to lie about it. Not that I'm saying they are, I just find that statement as a fact ridiculous.

 

[ValkyrieofHouston]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: ValkyrieofHouston

Originally posted by: dullard
I divorced my wife since she was at least emotionally cheating on me, probably more.

"1. They start working a lot of overtime" Check. She ran her own business with a partner, which closed at 10 pm, and the meetings just happened to run from 10 pm to 2 am (sometimes as late as 5 am).
"2. Your Lover / Spouse is no longer interested in sex" Check. She never was interested, but sex ended completely.
"3. They like to say " It's your imagination" Check, I suspected it.
"4. They use the internet excessively" Check. Saw the emails describing her body, lingerie she should wear, and the "I love yous".
"5. Suddenly wanting to do new sexual techniques" Nope. No sex = not wanting new techniques.
"6. You keep receiving hang up phone calls" Nope, the guys called her cell.
"7. They start hiding the cell / house phone bill" Nope, they were "work" calls from fellow male employees so she didn't hide them.
"8. You notice extra mileage on the odometer" Never bothered to check. I knew she was going out to couples bars and places with them that she'd never go to with me. So why bother checking mileage.
"9. They stop wearing their wedding ring" Check.
"10. And last - " I need my space" Check.

Honestly, I don't care if she actually physically cheated. The checks above were enough for me.

cKGunslinger, having just one or two of the signs is meaningless. I agree with you there. But once you suddenly get nearly 10 out of 10 all at the same time, it probably adds up. Think about it.

Wow, that sucks, now my question is what did you do to drive her way?

Jesus. Don't even try to hide it. You girls are shameless.

Maybe you missed the part where SHE cheated on HIM? I know you find this hard to believe, but the woman broke up the marriage and she is to blame, no matter what he did to "drive her away". Thats just a convenient excuse women use to convince themselves they're not evil.

Whoever cheated is at fault, male or female. Are you unhappy in your marriage? Get a fvcking divorce FIRST, then screw whoever you want. Not the other way around.

Hey, it takes two to tango

 

[LookingGlass]

Originally posted by: cKGunslinger

Originally posted by: dullard

cKGunslinger, having just one or two of the signs is meaningless. I agree with you there. But once you suddenly get nearly 10 out of 10 all at the same time, it probably adds up. Think about it.

It "maybe" adds up. I assure you I've never cheated on my wife, but at any given time:

1) I've worked late, sometimes until after 9pm and on weekends.
2) Been so over-worked that I'm too tired for "relations."
3) Shrugged off ponderings and musing on my fidelity.
4) Stayed up until 3am on ATOT and other sites.
5) Heard about (whether via coowrokers/radio/websites) some interesting sexual technique and wanted to try.
6) Decided to make an out-of-the-way Fry's run just to browse around.
7) Taken off my ring and left it on my dresser
8) Asked to be left alone for a while

All this within a single week/month/what have you. Sure, it could indicate infidelity, but in the legal world, that's called circumstancial evidence and hold very little water.

If you think your spouse is cheating, ask. If you believe what he/she says, no prob. If you don't believe, then you've already got problems. *shrug*

You make a good point, the key to a good relationship is communication, amoung other things. If there is room for doubt, you already have problems, yup.

Both men and women are quilty, end of story.

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: ValkyrieofHouston

Originally posted by: dullard
I divorced my wife since she was at least emotionally cheating on me, probably more.

"1. They start working a lot of overtime" Check. She ran her own business with a partner, which closed at 10 pm, and the meetings just happened to run from 10 pm to 2 am (sometimes as late as 5 am).
"2. Your Lover / Spouse is no longer interested in sex" Check. She never was interested, but sex ended completely.
"3. They like to say " It's your imagination" Check, I suspected it.
"4. They use the internet excessively" Check. Saw the emails describing her body, lingerie she should wear, and the "I love yous".
"5. Suddenly wanting to do new sexual techniques" Nope. No sex = not wanting new techniques.
"6. You keep receiving hang up phone calls" Nope, the guys called her cell.
"7. They start hiding the cell / house phone bill" Nope, they were "work" calls from fellow male employees so she didn't hide them.
"8. You notice extra mileage on the odometer" Never bothered to check. I knew she was going out to couples bars and places with them that she'd never go to with me. So why bother checking mileage.
"9. They stop wearing their wedding ring" Check.
"10. And last - " I need my space" Check.

Honestly, I don't care if she actually physically cheated. The checks above were enough for me.

cKGunslinger, having just one or two of the signs is meaningless. I agree with you there. But once you suddenly get nearly 10 out of 10 all at the same time, it probably adds up. Think about it.

Wow, that sucks, now my question is what did you do to drive her way?

Jesus. Don't even try to hide it. You girls are shameless.

Maybe you missed the part where SHE cheated on HIM? I know you find this hard to believe, but the woman broke up the marriage and she is to blame, no matter what he did to "drive her away". Thats just a convenient excuse women use to convince themselves they're not evil.

Whoever cheated is at fault, male or female. Are you unhappy in your marriage? Get a fvcking divorce FIRST, then screw whoever you want. Not the other way around.

Thank you. I was hoping someone would jump on that.

 

[KarenMarie]

what would i look for?

the smell of soap.

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: tk149
Nowadays, a promise of forever seems to mean "until it's inconvenient."

A diamond is forever, my love for you is not....

- DeBeers

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: ValkyrieofHouston

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: ValkyrieofHouston

Originally posted by: dullard
I divorced my wife since she was at least emotionally cheating on me, probably more.

"1. They start working a lot of overtime" Check. She ran her own business with a partner, which closed at 10 pm, and the meetings just happened to run from 10 pm to 2 am (sometimes as late as 5 am).
"2. Your Lover / Spouse is no longer interested in sex" Check. She never was interested, but sex ended completely.
"3. They like to say " It's your imagination" Check, I suspected it.
"4. They use the internet excessively" Check. Saw the emails describing her body, lingerie she should wear, and the "I love yous".
"5. Suddenly wanting to do new sexual techniques" Nope. No sex = not wanting new techniques.
"6. You keep receiving hang up phone calls" Nope, the guys called her cell.
"7. They start hiding the cell / house phone bill" Nope, they were "work" calls from fellow male employees so she didn't hide them.
"8. You notice extra mileage on the odometer" Never bothered to check. I knew she was going out to couples bars and places with them that she'd never go to with me. So why bother checking mileage.
"9. They stop wearing their wedding ring" Check.
"10. And last - " I need my space" Check.

Honestly, I don't care if she actually physically cheated. The checks above were enough for me.

cKGunslinger, having just one or two of the signs is meaningless. I agree with you there. But once you suddenly get nearly 10 out of 10 all at the same time, it probably adds up. Think about it.

Wow, that sucks, now my question is what did you do to drive her way?

Jesus. Don't even try to hide it. You girls are shameless.

Maybe you missed the part where SHE cheated on HIM? I know you find this hard to believe, but the woman broke up the marriage and she is to blame, no matter what he did to "drive her away". Thats just a convenient excuse women use to convince themselves they're not evil.

Whoever cheated is at fault, male or female. Are you unhappy in your marriage? Get a fvcking divorce FIRST, then screw whoever you want. Not the other way around.

Hey, it takes two to tango

No, it only takes ONE cheater!

No matter what might be wrong with a relationship/marriage cheating is NEVER acceptable. Any person who would cheat and then blame the spouse is a coward as well as a liar, cheat and sneak.

 

[Krazefinn]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: Krazefinn
...But if you put aside your own wants and desires for however long it takes her to KNOW you truly care about her as a whole person, yo'll see a whole nother level to a intimate relationship, one that is not only mutually satisfying in all ways, but also a lasting one.

That being the key portion of your post.

Give up what you want and desire and give the bitch what she wants, then she might just fvck you. You're admitting it and the resident females are confirming it; you want it to last? You want to be able to trust her not to fvck other guys? You want to have sex with her twice a month instead of the twice a day you got BEFORE marriage? Then you must give up YOUR hopes and dreams and be all about what SHE wants. Otherwise, she'll steal your kids, rape you for alimony, and find herself a boyfriend. Vows and morals be damned.

Its sickening.

Wow. No wonder ya'll havin so much womens trouble....
not that I haven't, but at least not to being so jaded and bitter.
So life goes on, pick your @$$ up and get back on the horse...
Point is you wont find the perfect partner......
until you become a perfect partner.
Kinnae put the cart afore the horse...
Seriously, lighten up, just because some of us have gained mutual trust.
And it doesnt take any kind of whipping....either way.
ones actions belie their beliefs, and seems you are unable to grasp the trust concept fully.
Wish i could put it more plainly....some would say there is none so blind as he who wont see.
Just 'cause many cheat doesn't mean all do. And me thinks the faithful parties tend to remain married/LTR with each other, not that one party cheats and the other doesnt.
LOL no wasn't gonna say love is blind.
I dunno, just my twobits, and i'ts worked for me. Take it for what it is...
sorry yours hasnt...

 

[randomlinh]

4. They use the internet excessively:

* You find your spouse is constantly online late at night when you go to bed.
* Closes window or computer when you come in room.
* Very defensive about spending time on the computer more often than usual.

err... I use the internet excessively now... am I cheating on myself? 😛

5. Suddenly wanting to do new sexual techniques:

* Where did they learn that?

what do you think I was downloading while on the internet?

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
No, it only takes ONE cheater!

No matter what might be wrong with a relationship/marriage cheating is NEVER acceptable. Any person who would cheat and then blame the spouse is a coward as well as a liar, cheat and sneak.

:heart:

 

[dawnbug]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: ValkyrieofHouston

Originally posted by: dullard
I divorced my wife since she was at least emotionally cheating on me, probably more.

"1. They start working a lot of overtime" Check. She ran her own business with a partner, which closed at 10 pm, and the meetings just happened to run from 10 pm to 2 am (sometimes as late as 5 am).
"2. Your Lover / Spouse is no longer interested in sex" Check. She never was interested, but sex ended completely.
"3. They like to say " It's your imagination" Check, I suspected it.
"4. They use the internet excessively" Check. Saw the emails describing her body, lingerie she should wear, and the "I love yous".
"5. Suddenly wanting to do new sexual techniques" Nope. No sex = not wanting new techniques.
"6. You keep receiving hang up phone calls" Nope, the guys called her cell.
"7. They start hiding the cell / house phone bill" Nope, they were "work" calls from fellow male employees so she didn't hide them.
"8. You notice extra mileage on the odometer" Never bothered to check. I knew she was going out to couples bars and places with them that she'd never go to with me. So why bother checking mileage.
"9. They stop wearing their wedding ring" Check.
"10. And last - " I need my space" Check.

Honestly, I don't care if she actually physically cheated. The checks above were enough for me.

cKGunslinger, having just one or two of the signs is meaningless. I agree with you there. But once you suddenly get nearly 10 out of 10 all at the same time, it probably adds up. Think about it.

Wow, that sucks, now my question is what did you do to drive her way?

Jesus. Don't even try to hide it. You girls are shameless.

Maybe you missed the part where SHE cheated on HIM? I know you find this hard to believe, but the woman broke up the marriage and she is to blame, no matter what he did to "drive her away". Thats just a convenient excuse women use to convince themselves they're not evil.

Whoever cheated is at fault, male or female. Are you unhappy in your marriage? Get a fvcking divorce FIRST, then screw whoever you want. Not the other way around.

I was thinking about how harsh that question was, too. No one would think to ask a woman what she did to drive a cheating husband away, and it sounds like dullard was a great husband to his wife, but the problem was with her and her life. He's the victim.

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: ValkyrieofHouston
Hey, it takes two to tango

I was considering using that phrase myself, since my ex-wife's business was ballroom dance instruction. That phrase relies on one false assumption: that all problems in a marriage are inter-personal problems. Some problems in a marriage are intra-personal problems.

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
No, it only takes ONE cheater!

Exactly. Sometimes one person is NOT made out for marriage. It doesn't matter how perfectly the other behaves, the marriage won't work. Yes, a man can drive a woman away and lead to many of those 10 signs (such of withholding of sex consciously or not). In return for lack of sex, the man often cheats. But often the problem is within the man and he cheats outright. Or often the problem is within the woman and she cheats. It does not take two to break up a marriage.

I practice tango quite well by myself (I'm actually talking about ballroom dancing now).

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

Originally posted by: Krazefinn
Wow. No wonder ya'll havin so much womens trouble....
not that I haven't, but at least not to being so jaded and bitter.
So life goes on, pick your @$$ up and get back on the horse...
Point is you wont find the perfect partner......
until you become a perfect partner.
Kinnae put the cart afore the horse...
Seriously, lighten up, just because some of us have gained mutual trust.
And it doesnt take any kind of whipping....either way.
ones actions belie their beliefs, and seems you are unable to grasp the trust concept fully.
Wish i could put it more plainly....some would say there is none so blind as he who wont see.
Just 'cause many cheat doesn't mean all do. And me thinks the faithful parties tend to remain married/LTR with each other, not that one party cheats and the other doesnt.
LOL no wasn't gonna say love is blind.
I dunno, just my twobits, and i'ts worked for me. Take it for what it is...
sorry yours hasnt...

Out of curiousity, have you been in a relationship where you were cheated on? Do you genuinely believe you would feel the same way if you have?

I think you were lucky enough to land upon a great woman who obviously cares about you. How about knocking that chip off your shoulder for one second and realize that couples either work together or they don't. All the effort in the world isn't going to help a relationship if one of the two is truly unhappy. I have seen too many situations where the guy is head over heels over her girlfriend and is then completely blind-sided when he finds out she's been cheating (and vice versa!).

 

[Geekbabe]

I don't wear my wedding ring, it's yellow gold, every other piece of jewelery I own/wear is white. It looks odd on my hand.