Too funny: Will un-Kosher lard stop suicide bombers?

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Pandaren

Golden Member
Sep 13, 2003
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/3484277.stm

Israeli police are to hang bags of pig lard on buses and in other public places to deter would-be Muslim suicide bombers, Israeli media have reported.
The Maariv daily said rabbinical authorities sanctioned the plan to use the product - considered impure by Jews and Muslims - if it might save lives.

According to Islamic tradition, Muslims who touch a pig before dying will be denied entry to Heaven

...


Rabbi Eliezer Moshe Fisher, of the Jerusalem Rabbinical Court, said there was no "halachic [Jewish law] ban on using bags of lard in buses and other places" when saving lives is concerned

...

The rabbi said if police do not enact the plan, tens of thousands of Orthodox Jews will arm themselves with guns capable of spraying liquid pig lard at suspects
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What I am wondering is - if the suicide bomber dies instantly on explosion, and he or she dies before the pig lard fragments hit, does it still count? I wonder if this will actually work - I know it is a very serious matter but it seems so silly on the face of it that I actually had a good laugh.
 
F

fs5

Lifer
Jun 10, 2000
11,774
1
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I think they should require anybody boarding a bus to pet a pig. that'd work better.
 
Z

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
err yeaahhh that will work..

a suicide bomber would go:

OMA (oh my allah) there is a pig on deh bus!! I wont detonate...

these are desperate people... a pig wont stop em...
 
Kadarin

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Originally posted by: z0mb13
these are desperate people... a pig wont stop em...
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The idea is that these people believe in the incredibly stupid idea that they will go straight to heaven for blowing themselves up, yet they also believe in the equally stupid idea that touching a pig denies them entry to heaven. If they are truly *religiously* motivated, as opposed to *politically* motivated, then it should work.
 
M

MercenaryForHire

Lifer
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
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Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: z0mb13
these are desperate people... a pig wont stop em...
Click to expand...

The idea is that these people believe in the incredibly stupid idea that they will go straight to heaven for blowing themselves up, yet they also believe in the equally stupid idea that touching a pig denies them entry to heaven. If they are truly *religiously* motivated, as opposed to *politically* motivated, then it should work.
Click to expand...

Never underestimate the stupidity of the religious zealot. ;)

- M4H
 
Z

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: z0mb13
these are desperate people... a pig wont stop em...
Click to expand...

The idea is that these people believe in the incredibly stupid idea that they will go straight to heaven for blowing themselves up, yet they also believe in the equally stupid idea that touching a pig denies them entry to heaven. If they are truly *religiously* motivated, as opposed to *politically* motivated, then it should work.
Click to expand...

yeah but a sucide bomber would already be brainwashed.... IMO no way this would work
 
UNCjigga

UNCjigga

Lifer
Dec 12, 2000
25,668
10,391
136
What I want to know is...where can I buy a gun capable of spraying liquid pig lard??? :D :evil:
 
Z

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: Jigga
What I want to know is...where can I buy a gun capable of spraying liquid pig lard??? :D :evil:
Click to expand...

hmm a better punishment would be to have all the extremists (alqueda members for instance) to be forced fed bacon!! mmmmmmmmmmmmm baconnnnnnnnnnn
 
T

TheBoyBlunder

Diamond Member
Apr 25, 2003
5,742
1
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Originally posted by: Jigga
What I want to know is...where can I buy a gun capable of spraying liquid pig lard??? :D :evil:
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Well, all you have to do is put a little bit of lard in each bullet. It's a bit easier than carrying a big tank o' pig lard on your back and a super soaker.
 
F

fs5

Lifer
Jun 10, 2000
11,774
1
0
Originally posted by: andylawcc
Originally posted by: TheBDB
Originally posted by: fivespeed5
I think they should require anybody boarding a bus to pet a pig. that'd work better.
Click to expand...

You are a genius.
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what if they wear a glove or has no arms?
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dude, I got that covered... you require them to take the glove off if they have gloves. If they got no arms just tell them to use their forehead or something. NEXT!
 
H

Howard

Lifer
Oct 14, 1999
47,986
11
81
Originally posted by: fivespeed5
Originally posted by: andylawcc
Originally posted by: TheBDB
Originally posted by: fivespeed5
I think they should require anybody boarding a bus to pet a pig. that'd work better.
Click to expand...

You are a genius.
Click to expand...

what if they wear a glove or has no arms?
Click to expand...

dude, I got that covered... you require them to take the glove off if they have gloves. If they got no arms just tell them to use their forehead or something. NEXT!
Click to expand...
LOL

*touches forehead to pig*
 
A

AvesPKS

Diamond Member
Apr 21, 2000
4,729
0
0
Originally posted by: TheBoyBlunder
Originally posted by: Jigga
What I want to know is...where can I buy a gun capable of spraying liquid pig lard??? :D :evil:
Click to expand...

Well, all you have to do is put a little bit of lard in each bullet. It's a bit easier than carrying a big tank o' pig lard on your back and a super soaker.
Click to expand...

But the big tank and the super soaker would be cooler....:cool:
 
S

SherEPunjab

Diamond Member
Oct 23, 2002
3,841
0
0
the british thought of this first.

during the freedom fight for Indias independence, many of the freedom fighters were Muslims.. if one of them died in combat, the british would take their bodies and wrap it in pigskin. Fighting for freedom grants a Muslim a right to go to heaven, so many would do so with that mentality. When the British started wrapping their bodies in pigskin though, a lot wouldn't because then they felt they wouldn't be able to go to heaven.
 
Z

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: SherEPunjab
the british thought of this first.

during the freedom fight for Indias independence, many of the freedom fighters were Muslims.. if one of them died in combat, the british would take their bodies and wrap it in pigskin. Fighting for freedom grants a Muslim a right to go to heaven, so many would do so with that mentality. When the British started wrapping their bodies in pigskin though, a lot wouldn't because then they felt they wouldn't be able to go to heaven.
Click to expand...

wow so this actually worked??

 
virtuamike

virtuamike

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 2000
7,845
13
81
Originally posted by: SherEPunjab
the british thought of this first.

during the freedom fight for Indias independence, many of the freedom fighters were Muslims.. if one of them died in combat, the british would take their bodies and wrap it in pigskin. Fighting for freedom grants a Muslim a right to go to heaven, so many would do so with that mentality. When the British started wrapping their bodies in pigskin though, a lot wouldn't because then they felt they wouldn't be able to go to heaven.
Click to expand...

US did the same thing to the Muslims in the Philippines, forgot who the general was.
 
A

andylawcc

Lifer
Mar 9, 2000
18,183
3
81
Originally posted by: virtuamike
Originally posted by: SherEPunjab
the british thought of this first.

during the freedom fight for Indias independence, many of the freedom fighters were Muslims.. if one of them died in combat, the british would take their bodies and wrap it in pigskin. Fighting for freedom grants a Muslim a right to go to heaven, so many would do so with that mentality. When the British started wrapping their bodies in pigskin though, a lot wouldn't because then they felt they wouldn't be able to go to heaven.
Click to expand...

US did the same thing to the Muslims in the Philippines, forgot who the general was.
Click to expand...

from top of my head: Douglas MacArthur.... also the same guy who said "I will return."

 
C

Compton

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2000
2,522
1
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They should make that big security fence out of SPAM. That would solve 90% of their problems.
 
A

AFB

Lifer
Jan 10, 2004
10,718
3
0
Originally posted by: Compton
They should make that big security fence out of SPAM. That would solve 90% of their problems.
Click to expand...

That would be so cool!
 
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