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Too funny (motherboard faceplate instructions)

V

VBboy

Diamond Member
Instructions included with the Epox 4G4A+'s I/O shield (the little piece of metal on the back of your PC 🙂) :

"Caution:

Prevent to be hurt by this sharp I/O shield, please MUST wear glove before you want to install the shield into your chassis".
 
I've been cut a couple times by a sharp case, it was my own fault though.

I like the warning about the hair dryer: "Do not use this product while asleep"
 
Couldn't resist....

On KP Peanuts
THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS NUTS

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

Outside a farm:
HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO IT YOURSELF

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

On a church door:
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)

English sign in a German cafe:
MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT
BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.

Sign at photographer's studio:
OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT TO DINNER ALSO

Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.

Outside a disco:
SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME

Sign warning of quicksand:
QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.

Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish:
DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER.


Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE
DISPOSED OF.

Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE. BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

Sign on a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK)

Sign at Norfolk farm gate:
BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST
LEFT.

Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
 
Originally posted by: hopeless879
I've been cut a couple times by a sharp case, it was my own fault though.

I like the warning about the hair dryer: "Do not use this product while asleep"
Click to expand...

Yeah, but I was mostly going for the grammatical errors and such 🙂
I have nothing against safety warnings.

P.S. There is a site dedicated to Chinglish.. I.e. bad English, especially in product instructions and owner manuals 🙂 Don't remember the URL.. My friend had PC speakers, but one side of the box said "Spreakers", while the other side said "Spekers".
 
Originally posted by: CotswoldCS
Couldn't resist....

On KP Peanuts
THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS NUTS

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
......
Click to expand...


That's awesome! 🙂

I hope everyone else can contribute their hardware and other humor. As long as the admins don't lock this 🙂
 
Originally posted by: VBboy
P.S. There is a site dedicated to Chinglish.. I.e. bad English, especially in product instructions and owner manuals 🙂 Don't remember the URL.. My friend had PC speakers, but one side of the box said "Spreakers", while the other side said "Spekers".
Click to expand...

Engrish.com ?
 
Back when I was in HS I remember one of the text books had "Please do not consume" just above the copyright info on the inside cover.

That always struck me as really bizarre, they actually had to ask the students not to EAT the text book?!


Japanese Engrish.

Great site for... 'unusual' english 🙂
 
No, guys, the one I'm talking about is "Chinglish". I wonder if I can find that site again...

Ok, here. I had to search for "out of children". Don't ask, read all the Chinglish there 🙂
Chinglish

I hope this doesn't affend any of our oriental friends.
 
This is why I never read the instructions until AFTER I'm done assembling/using something for the first time. 🙂
 
The Epox manual was certainly one of the factors with my rma'ing the board. I figured that if the board ran perfectly, then it wouldn't matter. But with the niggling problems I had with it, the manual's poor english indicated that support would be a nightmare.
 
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