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Today's Advice

GasX

GasX

Lifer
By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have
finally found inner peace...

Dr. Phil proclaimed "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, so, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel!
 
dr phil is fat and bald, why should i take his advice when it clearly hasn't worked for him?
 
Now you can move on to the next chapter in Dr. Phil's book:
"Dealing with alocohol and drug abuse"
 
I think I am getting my second wind, but I am a bit thirsty. I am going to go finish the expired milk in the fridge.
 
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