To those who cohabitate

jaeger66

Banned
Jan 1, 2001
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How long did you live together before you stopped splitting the bills 50/50? Like instead of keeping track of who paid what, whoever picks up the bill just pays it and that's that.
 

Barnaby W. Füi

Elite Member
Aug 14, 2001
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When I lived with my ex, we just shared all of our money. Then again, that relationship didn't exactly turn out too well... :p
 

jaeger66

Banned
Jan 1, 2001
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Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
When I lived with my ex, we just shared all of our money. Then again, that relationship didn't exactly turn out too well... :p

Hmm, seems to me that couples who play at being married too soon burn out quickly.
 

Barnaby W. Füi

Elite Member
Aug 14, 2001
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Originally posted by: jaeger66
Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
When I lived with my ex, we just shared all of our money. Then again, that relationship didn't exactly turn out too well... :p

Hmm, seems to me that couples who play at being married too soon burn out quickly.

Exaaaactly :)

"young and dumb"
 

y2kc

Platinum Member
Sep 2, 2000
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Hmm, seems to me that couples who play at being married too soon burn out quickly.

Not necessarily. My wife and i lived together for 8 years before we married and our relationship has gotten better over the years. All marriages have a (less than) 50% chance of enduring nowadays according to statistics. But to answer your money question. we never did the 50/50 thing in our home. All monies went into a joint account and the bills got paid. I know many couples that do the 50/50 thing and it worked for some but not most. It depended largely on the individuals incomes, their maturity level, and the amount of bills. I've known couples that broke up over it. The harsh feelings, that are sometimes the result of such arrangements, does not inspire a feeling of togetherness couples should feel in a relationship (I think). My wife and I did agree that if there were a separation (before and after our marriage) we would split things down the center and move on. I have always made more money than she so obviously this arrangement would benefit her in the end, but if the relationship was that bad it would be a small price to pay for my happiness.
 

Pliablemoose

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
25,195
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Question: What's the #1 reason couples break up?

Answer: Money, or the lack therof.

What exactly are you asking? & why aren't you asking your GF? You-all really need to start talking about $ now & be able to discuss it without a lot of emotions clouding the issues.
 

Warthog912

Golden Member
Jun 17, 2001
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Originally posted by: jaeger66
Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
When I lived with my ex, we just shared all of our money. Then again, that relationship didn't exactly turn out too well... :p

Hmm, seems to me that couples who play at being married too soon burn out quickly.

not exactly-----

My gf and I have been together almost 6 years, lived together the last year, and we get along very well with bills. Money is not a source of conflict for us. Granted we're in college and we don't have many in the first place.

-Peace
 

jaeger66

Banned
Jan 1, 2001
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Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
Question: What's the #1 reason couples break up?

Answer: Money, or the lack therof.

What exactly are you asking? & why aren't you asking your GF? You-all really need to start talking about $ now & be able to discuss it without a lot of emotions clouding the issues.

Well, we've been together 4 years, living together for 2 1/2 in a house I own. We are married in every sense but legally. But we still divide up expenses evenly, and have no joint accounts or money invested in some sort of major joint purchase. Sometimes it makes it feel like we're more like roomates who have sex than in a serious relationship. She wants a joint checking account but for some reason that idea really bothers me but I don't know why.
 

spaceman

Lifer
Dec 4, 2000
17,617
183
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we dont really keep track.
I have been living with my girlfriend for just over a year(going out for 3 years).she'll pick up the electric bill,ill pick up groceries etc.
rent we still split or take turns paying month to month.
We do not haven any shared accounts, but if she needs spare $ for gas, or i need something..we help each other out.Isnt that what its all about???
 

jaeger66

Banned
Jan 1, 2001
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Originally posted by: ncircle
we dont really keep track.
I have been living with my girlfriend for just over a year(going out for 3 years).she'll pick up the electric bill,ill pick up groceries etc.
rent we still split or take turns paying month to month.
We do not haven any shared accounts, but if she needs spare $ for gas, or i need something..we help each other out.Isnt that what its all about???

Oh, well I mean we don't keep track of every penny...I just mean the large monthly bills. If I go to the store and she asks me to get some stuff I'm not going to come back with a bill for her.
 

Zebo

Elite Member
Jul 29, 2001
39,398
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I don't think we ever did...But damn you have a good thing going, I'll say forever if you need me as a witness.
 

jaeger66

Banned
Jan 1, 2001
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Originally posted by: Carbonyl
I don't think we ever did...But damn you have a good thing going, I'll say forever if you need me as a witness.

I know if we ever do get married it will be at the county clerk's office, but thanks for the offer. We do OK financially, we're not wealthy by any means but we make about the same amount and don't really have any huge expenses for people our age(mid 20's). Our cars are paid for, the house payment is low, we don't have credit card debt, and we have very efficient appliances. The only thing really hanging over me is student loans.
 

Pliablemoose

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
25,195
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Originally posted by: jaeger66
Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
Question: What's the #1 reason couples break up?

Answer: Money, or the lack therof.

What exactly are you asking? & why aren't you asking your GF? You-all really need to start talking about $ now & be able to discuss it without a lot of emotions clouding the issues.

Well, we've been together 4 years, living together for 2 1/2 in a house I own. We are married in every sense but legally. But we still divide up expenses evenly, and have no joint accounts or money invested in some sort of major joint purchase. Sometimes it makes it feel like we're more like roomates who have sex than in a serious relationship. She wants a joint checking account but for some reason that idea really bothers me but I don't know why.

<--prob an old fashioned tool, both given an allowance, all purchases >$100 discussed prior to spending.

I had an elaborate thing worked out with ex that was way too complicated, keep things simple.

Why not get married, have you-all discussed it?

 

jaeger66

Banned
Jan 1, 2001
3,852
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Originally posted by: Pliablemoose


Why not get married, have you-all discussed it?

Yes, we have. I think the main barrier is just that both of us are still uncertain about what we want to do with our lives. She wants to finish school, I hate my job and want to go back to school to do something else. I guess its also the typical fear of a mistake, but one great thing is that we both agree we don't want kids.

 

Pliablemoose

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
25,195
0
56
Arizona is not one of the 11 states that recognize common-law marriage, so you-all aren't in danger of being considered married.

Maybe a joint account for household expenses, and seperate accounts for your personal $...
 

jaeger66

Banned
Jan 1, 2001
3,852
0
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Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
Living together is just so wrong. You should uncohabitate as soon as possible.

Feh. She buys me dinner, takes care of me when I'm sick, watches hockey with me even though she doesn't like it, doesn't care when I'm up all night on the comp, and she likes Metallica. I think I can handle that.
 

radioouman

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2002
8,632
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I never lived with my girlfriend/fiance while we were dating. We were married last summer. We based our entire budget off of my salary. I pay all of the bills (rent, car payment, bills, groceries, etc.), and she pays her student loan and puts money into savings. This plan has worked great, as we were able to take our credit card debt from $5,000 last summer, to $0 as of last month.

 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,392
1,780
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A friend of mine got married young and ended up working 18 hours a day for his cutie... However, she started draining his account and got a cocaine addiction in the process and tried to kill him.

This may sound extreme, but it's the short version of a long true story. My point is...you never really know who you marry or how things will turn out. It's a HUGE gamble, but it might be worth it...who knows? :p