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To move or not to move?

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thawolfman

Lifer
Dec 9, 2001
11,107
0
76
Alright, I'll make this short and to the point. Been going out w/ my GF for just over a year.

Her situation at home isn't the greatest: Her mom's pretty much a psycho. For me, I'd deal with it, but for her, she can't take it anymore (and I can understand since she's been dealing with it her entire life.)

My home situation is pretty much great, my parent's have been there for me all of my life, and are lax as far as rules go. I don't have a problem staying here.

I gotta jet, so I'll update more later, but basically we found a good deal on a place, and I'm iffy on whether or not to go - She's all for it, but I'm middle road.

What would you do?

-Ben-
 
PingSpike

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,758
603
126
I was able to have sex in more positions and more spontanously once we got our own place.
 
Kyteland

Kyteland

Diamond Member
Dec 30, 2002
5,747
1
81
Depends on how serious you two are. If things go south in a month what are you going to do?
 
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nan0bug

Banned
Apr 22, 2003
3,142
0
0
Simple:

Do you love her? Is it worth your while to give up some of your own comfort in your home life to provide her with some in hers?

If you don't care for her that deeply then don't go, but if you don't care for her that deeply why are you still with her after a year?
 
K

Kipper

Diamond Member
Feb 18, 2000
7,366
0
0
Consider what makes you happy, carefully, then do whatever makes you happy.
 
MichaelD

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,528
3
76
Don't even think of getting married yet. Nuff said there.

I am always one to have a Backup Plan. Always.

My only question to you is this:

If you move in w/her and it falls through, can you move back home to your parents' place w/o any issues or hassle? Will your parents let you come back just like nothign happened?

If "yes" go for it. Cohabitation is something we all should experience. When it's good it's freakin' awesome. (Give me sex and go make me a sandwich) When it's bad, it's hell. (What do you mean you don't want to have sex with me anymore AND you spent the rent money AND you slept with Joe?"
 
EvilYoda

EvilYoda

Lifer
Apr 1, 2001
21,198
9
81
No matter what, moving in together is a BIG step. Having a great situation at home is nice since you can always fall back on it...but moving in together is an awesome opportunity. have you guys spent any extended time together? You'll know a lot more about a person after living with them, and that's not always a good thing.

Good luck with it, and i say go for it...just be careful and don't let the little things get to you. there will be many little things.
 
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thawolfman

Lifer
Dec 9, 2001
11,107
0
76
We've been together for ~14 months. I'm 22, and she's 19, turning 20 in December.

I called up and agreed to it about an hour ago, but now I'm having second thoughts - I really don't think I'm ready financially, and I just don't know that I'm that ready to leave home yet. I just graduated college, and am looking for a full time job. If I was already working full time than I don't think that this would be such a big issue.

It's just everything together makes me question it - the money up front, what happens if things don't stay good between us. I dunno, talking to mom helps, I think~ :D

I'm gonna go talk to the woman and tell her that I'm really not ready to do it, and then I gotta call and break plans. Man I hate that...:confused:

-Ben-
 
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HappyPuppy

Lifer
Apr 5, 2001
16,997
2
71
If she has issues and baggage now, whe will have issues and baggage after you move in together, married or not.

I always preferred to stick with women from good homes who didn't have a lifetime of hangups and garbage to bring into my life.

It's your life, though.
 
Kadarin

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
You're going to really hurt her by telling her that you really don't want to do it. When you said yes, I'll bet she hit a real emotional high knowing that she was going to escape her awful home situation, but when you suddenly call her with second thoughts, you're going to dash that good feeling against the cold hard granite wall of reality.

She will hate you and resent you for it.

Good luck! :)
 
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nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
83
91
I'd go for it.

I mean, considering your ages, it'll probably be hell and you'll probably break up within the next few years, forcing one of you into the awkward position of having to move back home, but you may as well experience cohabitation. get yourself prepared for married life ;)
 
G

gotsmack

Diamond Member
Mar 4, 2001
5,768
0
71
Originally posted by: thawolfman
We've been together for ~14 months. I'm 22, and she's 19, turning 20 in December.

I called up and agreed to it about an hour ago, but now I'm having second thoughts - I really don't think I'm ready financially, and I just don't know that I'm that ready to leave home yet. I just graduated college, and am looking for a full time job. If I was already working full time than I don't think that this would be such a big issue.

It's just everything together makes me question it - the money up front, what happens if things don't stay good between us. I dunno, talking to mom helps, I think~ :D

I'm gonna go talk to the woman and tell her that I'm really not ready to do it, and then I gotta call and break plans. Man I hate that...:confused:

-Ben-
Click to expand...

you made the right choice. She can always live at the dorms to avoid her family over the semester and work all summer to not be at the house.

You're being pressured into a situation you don;t really want to be in. When the time is right you'll know.

When I get forced into a decision I'm not ready to make I usually default because that is the safest choice for a forced decision (and it also spites the other party).
 
O

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: FoBoT
get married and move into the new place
have some little wolfman babies
etc, etc

good luck!
Click to expand...

But think of all the regular people! We don't like being woken up late at night by your howling.

Plus all that fur. Yeccch. Talk about hairballs.
 
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