Tin Foil Thread

[MoMeanMugs]

I'm extremely bored at work, so I'm going to spend my morning neffing. The name of the game is to make up a conspiracy theory. You don't need to believe in it, but I figure this might be fun. I know there are some people on here nuttier than a Snickers bar, so let's see who can come up with the best tin foil theory.

Mine:

The government dresses up retarded monkeys in human suits and let's them drive on freeways in the morning and evenings. This is the only logical reason for "rush hour."

 

[rivan]

Did you just call me a retarded monkey?

 

[DAPUNISHER]

Conspiracy theory- This thread is a Snickers viral, because everyone knows the expression is "nuttier than a Payday"

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

Obama being elected was a republican conspiracy. You see in the coming months it's going to be finally proven that Obama was in fact born in Kenya. Congress and Obama will then amend the constitution to allow inonnatural born citizens so that he can remain president. This is why they rigged the 2000/2004 elections so bush could win and crush american democracy so that a black man could be elected in 2008 that would then be proven not to be natural born. Why would they do this you ask? Schwarzenegger 2012, which they need to stop skynet in the same year!

 

[MoMeanMugs]

Originally posted by: rivan
Did you just call me a retarded monkey?

Well, that depends. Do you ride in the left lane going slow, randomly brake for no reason, try to "multitask" while driving, etc?

 

[Crono]

Conspiracy theory: The U.S. government is working with genetic material extracted from what was once a flying, fire breathing dinosaur. They plan on creating embryos from the DNA, and hatching a horde of dragons. They will equip the dragons with aerogel armor and a direct neural interface hooked up to a mounted laser. 12 years from now, when the United States goes to war against -------, the fire breathing/laser firing dragons will be the ones devastating the enemy.

 

[Unheard]

Our computer monitors are actually brain wave receptors. The information collected is used to control your everyday life, from what you eat, wear, drink, when you sleep, use the bathroom, procreate. All of these are controlled by the federal reserve.