Tiger Woods Apologizes -- What I Would Have Liked to Have Heard

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BeauJangles

Lifer
Aug 26, 2001
13,941
1
0
The best line in that pile of crap was about how important his family is to him. He's been fucking other women since basically the day he got married; how is his family important to him in the slightest?

I also really enjoyed how he apologize to his business partners, blasted the media for following his children around, and blasted them for saying that Elin hit him. Hello Tiger, you kept your mouth shut for the last four months -- what do you think people are going to do when you don't come out and tell us your side of the story? Then you sit around and let all these stories be told over and over again and now you're mad at the media? Get outta here.

As for the kids, sure, they shouldn't be followed around, but a press conference in which you're coming to terms with being a gigantic douchebag isn't the time or place to get mad at other people.

That press conference was a joke. So is his "sex rehab."
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
I guess he had to apologize for sponsors or whatever else but I couldn't care less. In some ways it's very pretentious for him to apologize for everybody because it means he thinks he hurt everybody, which is narcissistic. Really he has only impacted his sponsors and his family and the ladies he banged. I prefer theonion's rendition:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/tiger_woods_announces_return_to
Saying that f**king is his "calling and [his] one true passion," Woods spoke of how he has always adored the sight of a neatly trimmed mound, the smell of fresh stank early in the morning when the labia glisten with dewy juices, and the feel of a perfect impact with a woman's vagina.
 
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nobodyknows

Diamond Member
Sep 28, 2008
5,474
0
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No, let me correct myself if that is the impression I gave. I mean he has taken his success on the golf course and has used that to promote the sport greater than those 3 combined. Now clearly media today is way beyond that of Hogan, but Tiger has lifted that sport to great heights. Some of it is the intrigue because of his skin, but his talent is just beyond what has been seen up to this point. Dude does work in inner cities to promote the sport which if nothing else has help increase TV viewership. His foundation has helped folks, but been a nice throw in for Golf's exposure. Hey the guy just blew it being married, but if anyone has ever earned the right to be given a chance to redeem himself, this guy has.

I don't think he has to redeem himself, he has to figure out what's best for his family. If he can go back to golf and leave the groupies alone then fine, but if the temptation on the road is going to be too much then just pack it in for the sake of the family, or get a divorce.
 

DougoMan

Senior member
May 23, 2009
813
0
71
You know what would be awesome is if Tiger dropped the whole pretense and just turned into a hardcore gangster.
 

tallest1

Diamond Member
Jul 11, 2001
3,474
0
0
You know what would be awesome is if Tiger dropped the whole pretense and just turned into a hardcore gangster.

Exactly! If he were to divorce now and become the Dennis Rodman of Golf, he'd get ass, money, and a larger audience worshiping him (and his little Tiger) too.

He'd be on playboy in days, playing games in a pimp outfit (and winning), and getting invited to REAL parties and get action from women who are classier than waitresses
 

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
25,134
2,450
126
Yeah... I'm disappointed that he decided to go the boy scout route, and give a sissy apology. I just want to see him get back on the course and dominate the field again!

Besides... Golf could really use a "bad boy" to help boost ratings. Wouldn't it be cool to have a person who everyone "loves to hate"?
 

1prophet

Diamond Member
Aug 17, 2005
5,313
534
126
http://www.legendspeak.com/TigerWoods.htm


"I think it's an honor to be a role model to one person or maybe more than that. If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person's life in a positive light, and that's what I want to do. That's what it's all about."

Tiger Woods own words judged him, not the media or those that don't like him.
 

rudder

Lifer
Nov 9, 2000
19,441
86
91
Why should anyone care? This is his own personal matter and life. He's a great golfer, and nothing else, to you, to us. And just because he can golf doesn’t make him some moral authority spokesman for adults and especially for kids. The parent should fill that role.

Well said. If sponsors want to drop him for whatever reason it is their business decision. As that is his major source of income... he screwed up (pun intended or not). All those people saying he ruined golf would mostly likely, if they were in his position, be hitting as many hot women as they can before the ride is over.
 

Pr0d1gy

Diamond Member
Jan 30, 2005
7,774
0
76
Why should anyone care? This is his own personal matter and life. He's a great golfer, and nothing else, to you, to us. And just because he can golf doesn’t make him some moral authority spokesman for adults and especially for kids. The parent should fill that role.

Parents expect other people to fill that role because they cannot even be asked to be mature enough to keep their relationship with the other parent together, much less be a role model to anyone....
 
Nov 30, 2006
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Someone mentioned something about Tiger Woods to the Dali Lama the other day and he had no idea who Tiger Woods was....there's still hope for this world!
 

UberNeuman

Lifer
Nov 4, 1999
16,937
3,087
126
He should have walked up to the stage and took the mike and said:
"Players play, haters hate - and pussy is pussy..."

Then slam the mike down on the stage and walk off...

/in other words, I don't care about his apology or his private life....