Those of you with kids: Are you happy with your decision to have children?

[dainthomas]

Advantages:

- Large tax deduction.
- Free housework.
- That warm cuddly feeling, or whatever.

Disadvantages:

- Kids are brats (yes, this will include yours).
- Everyone without kids will find you and them annoying.
- They cost a quarter mil each.

 

[azoomee]

Definitely do it

 

[Poulsonator]

Originally posted by: Dacalo
That said, I also believe there is nothing wrong with not having children (but if you are Asian, you will be pestered by your parents, siblings, and relatives). However, I do believe that when you get older and your SO passes away, you will be all by yourself, no grandchildren to read a book to and such. I am not discouraging not having kids, I am just stating the consequence.

My family pesters me enough about not having kids, and I'm not Asian. It's definitely in every culture.

My wife and I probably won't have a kid...we're both in our early 30's. Been together for over 12 years now and it's never once been something we wanted to do. I enjoy my time with my wife and our cats (our furry children) too much.

As far as not having someone to take care of me when I'm older, well, if I live that long maybe that'll be a concern but you just don't know until it happens. Besides, I know a LOT of people who don't want to take care of their aging parents now...who's to say my kid would take care of me?

 

[BillGates]

Kids are like boats. Fun for your friends to have and share with you but not really something that you'd want... Too much time and money.

Selfish > *

 

[TreyRandom]

Absolutely. I adore my two boys. I don't regret having them in the least bit.

My wife, who has always been a career woman, abruptly chose to stay home with the children after giving birth to our first child. I asked her to give me a year-and-a-half to get the debts paid (while Nana stayed home with our first child), and now we live on one salary. Having one parent stay home during the first three years of life, if at all possible, is vital to "wiring" the child's brain up well.

EDIT: We had our first at age 32 and our second at age 34. We're probably done due to the birth risks over age 35.

 

[SagaLore]

If you're not ready to have children, then you're children are not ready to be conceived. Don't think you have a mammalian obligation to bear children.

If you two know you want to have children some day, then just plan accordingly. Start trying early thirties when you can still get pregnant. Enjoy life until then.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

oh and dont be shy when it comes to pulling out the belt when they act up too much.

 

[bctbct]

Money and career could never replace the first time your child says daddy/ mommy.

Then you spend the next 18 years wishing they would shut the hell up

 

[atybimf]

Don't let the whole "we like to travel" thing stop you. My best friend is so much better off now because he was traveling all over the place since he was young. A week here and there in another place is great for a kid.

 

[Beau]

Yep, 1 daughter, 9 mos old now. I can't imagine life without her. It changes your outlook on life and totally alters your priorities. When you're with you SO and it's only you two you can't possibly think of loving anyone else more than them, but with kids -- you just don't realize how much you can love until you have one.

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[manlymatt83]

Whats with all the children threads? Who is having children?

 

[altonb1]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
I kind of wish we had started earlier. Otherwise, I am very happy with our decision to have a child.

How early do you wish you had started, and why?

Well, I'm 39 and I have a 4 year old son. I'll be in my 50s before he's out of high school...kind of a sobering thought isn't it? I wish we had started in our early 30s or maybe late 20s. We kept putting it off because we wanted to own a home and be settled in our careers prior to starting a family. I don't think waiting until you are "ready" is the best way to approach it. You are never REALLY ready anyway...you just make the best of it.

QFT.

If you wait until you can afford kids, or you wait until you are "ready," you will never have kids.

My wife and I have 5 kids. The 1st was born in 1997, a few months before my wife turned 21. I was 25. The 1st 3 kids are about 19 months apart. The 4th came ~3 years after the 3rd, and the 5th was born in Nov. 2004. My wife was 28 with that one and I was 33. Effective with my "snippage" a few months before the last baby's arrival, we are done.

I will be 51 when my youngest turns 18. My wife will be 46. I'm happy with the age range of the kids and my age now and when they become adults. Assuming I live a long life, I will be young enough to enjoy my kids as they grow up, participate in their life events, etc, as well as live to see many of my the milestones of any future grandkids.

However, had we waited for careers and finances to becme ideal, we would still be childless. I'm doing okay in my career, but with every step in that ladder, my standard of living increases, too. As such, I would still be waiting for the extra income that would allow me to "afford" kids.

 

[crystal]

Yes. 1 daughter. She turns 9 month last week. She drains all our time and become quite a handful. It is also expensive putting her in day care since we both work, but we are very happy and feel quite bless to have her in our lives.

 

[Captante]

No decision I've ever made in my life has made me happier!

I love my daughters!!!

 

[Dacalo]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Whats with all the children threads? Who is having children?

I... must...resist....

 

[ponyo]

My daughter wasn't planned but that's ok because that's life. She is my sunshine and she is what drives me.

We're fortunate that my wife can stay at home with our 3yr old daughter. We haven't had to make any financial sacrifice but lot of our free time is devoted to playing with our daughter. We vacation just as much if not more because of our daughter.

I did have to give up riding my motocycle but my wife promises that's temporary. So the bike sits in the garage. However sportscar is ok so it's not too bad.

 

[ITJunkie]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
I kind of wish we had started earlier. Otherwise, I am very happy with our decision to have a child.

How early do you wish you had started, and why?

Well, I'm 39 and I have a 4 year old son. I'll be in my 50s before he's out of high school...kind of a sobering thought isn't it? I wish we had started in our early 30s or maybe late 20s. We kept putting it off because we wanted to own a home and be settled in our careers prior to starting a family. I don't think waiting until you are "ready" is the best way to approach it. You are never REALLY ready anyway...you just make the best of it.

I am 42 and have a 17 yr old daughter and an 11 yr old son. It's never easy no matter what the age. On the one hand, my wife and I started young by today's standards and we didn't have a lot of money at the time but we did okay. On the other hand we had the stamina to keep up with the constant lack of sleep and so on.
While all of our friends were partying, traveling, etc., we were home with kids. Now, I see those same friends with young kids and they look absolutely exhausted (insert chuckle here). They will all be pushing 60 or more by the time their kids enter/graduate high school, while my wife and I will probably have grandchildren that we'll send birthday cards to from Europe.
What I'm getting at is the "right time" for having kids is when you want to have kids. If you don't want to have kids at all then I tip my hat to you for making that decision too. Jules is right...you're never "ready" to have kids but your kids will always be "ready" to have you.

 

[Pepsi90919]

uh, why would your kids go to high school at 23?

 

[Madwand1]

My partner wanted to have a child because she was sure that a life/couple with a child is better than one without, no question. I never wanted a child, but in the spirit of promise of love to her, to make her happy, I decided to take the plunge. The sacrifices are many, and probably greater than expected, but the net result is that I think that the sacrifices, once you begin to make them and not dwell upon them, seem trivial, and the gains incomparable.

My wife and child have been good for me spiritually, and this I hope to value above everthing else now. I'm arrogant enough to think that I could have done some things as well being single, but I'm not sure that that's true. In the end, I agree with her -- in my present opinion, a couple with a child being raised well is better than one without. But this is not to say that a selfishly motivated couple ought to have children for the sake of appearances, social pressure, etc.; to the contrary.

We married and procreated late -- around our 40s. Our child is healthy, intelligent, intuitive, happy, and (overally, usually) good (emphasis for value). Health, happiness, etc. are certainly blessings, but I don't think you can count on them. You have to be prepared to have whatever sort of child appears, and adjust accordingly. We have no regrets about our ages in this; we have even older parents in our circle and we find them happy well into their retirement with their child just entering full adulthood.

I suppose it makes sense to maximize your time with your children and therefore have them early, but if you have to trade off your own preparedness, maturity, stability and attention towards having children earlier (esp. e.g. with the wrong partner or partner's frame of mind), then of course having children later can be better than ealier in some cases. But beware that you cannot exhaust all your desires by exercising them; having a child because "the biological clock went off" is probably among the poorer reasons; the best learning is by doing.

Why have children? Should you have children? Look into your hearts.

 

[potato28]

I aksed my rents and they said "sometimes yes, most of the time no"