Quotes from some late night shows, found at this website. Picked some out which I liked the best.
"President Bush addressed the nation on some of the networks. NBC and CBS refused to preempt 'Friends' and 'Survivor' for the president. So God forbid, let's hope the enemy never attacks on a Thursday night." ?Jay Leno
"Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's no way to win! If Osama dies, you don't get paid. If you're found, you get killed." ?Jay Leno
"In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David's friend, the Stealth Bomber." ?Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"There are now rumors that the Taliban has been poisoning the food we have been dropping. We should make a deal with the people of Afghanistan. We'll taste your food, you check our mail." ?Jay Leno
"More bad news for the Taliban. Remember how they are promised 72 virgins when they die? Turns out that it's only one 72-year-old virgin." ?Jay Leno
"There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head." ?Jay Leno
"The Defense Department ... says that troops in Afghanistan have discovered several more tapes of Osama bin Laden speaking with his followers. ... And if you order the whole set right now, they'll throw in 'The Taliban's Wet 'n' Wild Spring Break'" ?Conan O'Brien
"President Bush addressed the nation on some of the networks. NBC and CBS refused to preempt 'Friends' and 'Survivor' for the president. So God forbid, let's hope the enemy never attacks on a Thursday night." ?Jay Leno
"Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's no way to win! If Osama dies, you don't get paid. If you're found, you get killed." ?Jay Leno
"In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David's friend, the Stealth Bomber." ?Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"There are now rumors that the Taliban has been poisoning the food we have been dropping. We should make a deal with the people of Afghanistan. We'll taste your food, you check our mail." ?Jay Leno
"More bad news for the Taliban. Remember how they are promised 72 virgins when they die? Turns out that it's only one 72-year-old virgin." ?Jay Leno
"There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head." ?Jay Leno
"The Defense Department ... says that troops in Afghanistan have discovered several more tapes of Osama bin Laden speaking with his followers. ... And if you order the whole set right now, they'll throw in 'The Taliban's Wet 'n' Wild Spring Break'" ?Conan O'Brien
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