Moonbeam, would this be more of the way to address the situation.
You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. A fetid pus-oozing festering boil on the anus of humanity. If the universe were nothing but K-Y jelly, you would be a grain of sand in it. You are a fiend and a sniveling, back-boneless coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum. And I wish you would go away. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a putrefaction, a big suck on a sour lemon with a lime twist. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in regret for what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, a ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing to conceal your complete lack of logical thought process attempting to impress us with your insight. You snail-skulled little twit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. Your hand even refuses autoerotism. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are the epitome of conceit, the flea, floating down a river with an erection, screaming, to those that care, "Open up the damn drawbridge".
What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. If the sum total of all the knowledge, experience and wisdom that you have acquired in your stay thus far on earth were rolled into one great big ball and shoved up a gnat's asshole, there would be so much room left over that it would roll around like a BB in a boxcar.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape kind of stupid. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on the warm side of Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.
Maybe later in life, after you have learned to think, read, write, spell, count and wipe your ass you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicapped space. I wish you the best of luck in the intellectual struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you (like passing gas, for instance).
You, sir, have shown yourself to be an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, dasypygal, excerebro, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ityphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephaloous,yirning zoophyte. I'm sure the other fine folks can figure it out much more rapidly than you ever will so, I'll give you the meanings of them before your tiny snail-skulled head implodes. It is to say, are you an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy-buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunchbacked, thicklipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellent, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life.
In short, if I traded you for crap, I would lose the container I brought you in.
When you're done passing judgement on how we conduct affairs on this side of the world, sit back, take a deep breath, get centered, and lick a dog's ass till it bleeds and drips festering canine anal pus down your throat!!
May you be cornholed nightly by mushroom-colored dwarves.
Otherwise, have a good day.
Sadly, I cannot take credit for the above prose, but it seemed appropriate to the occasion.