GroundedSailor
Platinum Member
From the Daily Barometer Online
Cassez-vous frogs
Sanjai Tripathi
In a stunning display of American disdain for French efforts to obstruct our war, the menu at the cafeteria of the House of Representatives will no longer serve French fries and French toast.
"This action today is a small, but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure of many on Capitol Hill with the actions of our so-called ally, France," said Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, who along with Rep. Walter Jones, R-North Carolina, sponsored the change.
They will still serve fried potato slivers and egg-dipped bread, but they are now Freedom fries and Freedom toast.
Booya! That'll show them Frenchies.
It doesn't go far enough, though. We need to purge their vile socialist, peacenik, cheese-eating influence from our society. It worked in the fight against communism in the 50s.
Some of the changes will be easy, and some will be difficult. We already don't wear berets. The LeCar was a piece of crap. I can't understand ballet, or Les Miserables. And beige is a pretty weak color.
We will miss the late night rendezvous for a little French kissing. But it may be easier to get action now without the chaperon. However, there unfortunately will be no more chances for a manage à trois.
No more baguettes, we will just have to eat loaves of bread. We will have sparkling wine instead of champagne. We can no longer eat croissants, but we have the croissanwich now to ease the transition.
We can still have milk, but it will no longer be pasteurized. Mayonnaise and Dijon mustard are gone, especially gray poupon, but we have Miracle Whip to save the day.
Personally, of the food related things, I'll miss the buffet most of all.
All the joie de vivre and mystique of Mardi Gras is gone.
Also, the wealthy can't have a bourgeois attitude anymore, although we may keep that and just call it "boojee."
It could be a debacle, but those are gone too.
Then, when our patriotic cleansing fervor reaches its pinnacle, we will destroy that tallest, greenest, most unapologetic bastion of Frenchness on our shores. You know what I'm talking about, that sandal and toga wearing hussie, the Statue of Liberty. Toss her in the sea. Yee hah!
That one may not play well in the sticks, but if we want to be true to our cause we must go back in history, and pull no punches. All streets named after Lafayette should be changed.
Ben Franklin spent a lot of time in Paris. He invented libraries, and that word sounds awfully French. So those should close, and we'll have to change the $100 bill.
In fact, all the Founders were heavily influenced by French philosophy. The rough draft of our Bill of Rights was virtually written in Paris coffee shops.
This stopped being fun a while ago, but we have to stop the surrender monkeys. Here's a joke: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? We don't know, it's never been tried.
Haha, their country got overrun by Nazis, that's so funny. We all know the French are too cowardly to make war. Although, some guys named Napoleon and Charlemagne did something once. But that was way before America, so who cares?
We have disagreements with the French. They object to our unilateral approach to war and our arrogant rhetoric. We come back with a bunch of stupid jokes about their food and military losses. Then, we wonder why the world doesn't follow us into war.
Sanjai Tripathi is a columnist for The Daily Barometer. The opinions in his column do not necessarily reflect those of The Barometer staff. Tripathi can be reached at sanjaitripathi@netscape.net.
Cassez-vous frogs
Sanjai Tripathi
In a stunning display of American disdain for French efforts to obstruct our war, the menu at the cafeteria of the House of Representatives will no longer serve French fries and French toast.
"This action today is a small, but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure of many on Capitol Hill with the actions of our so-called ally, France," said Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, who along with Rep. Walter Jones, R-North Carolina, sponsored the change.
They will still serve fried potato slivers and egg-dipped bread, but they are now Freedom fries and Freedom toast.
Booya! That'll show them Frenchies.
It doesn't go far enough, though. We need to purge their vile socialist, peacenik, cheese-eating influence from our society. It worked in the fight against communism in the 50s.
Some of the changes will be easy, and some will be difficult. We already don't wear berets. The LeCar was a piece of crap. I can't understand ballet, or Les Miserables. And beige is a pretty weak color.
We will miss the late night rendezvous for a little French kissing. But it may be easier to get action now without the chaperon. However, there unfortunately will be no more chances for a manage à trois.
No more baguettes, we will just have to eat loaves of bread. We will have sparkling wine instead of champagne. We can no longer eat croissants, but we have the croissanwich now to ease the transition.
We can still have milk, but it will no longer be pasteurized. Mayonnaise and Dijon mustard are gone, especially gray poupon, but we have Miracle Whip to save the day.
Personally, of the food related things, I'll miss the buffet most of all.
All the joie de vivre and mystique of Mardi Gras is gone.
Also, the wealthy can't have a bourgeois attitude anymore, although we may keep that and just call it "boojee."
It could be a debacle, but those are gone too.
Then, when our patriotic cleansing fervor reaches its pinnacle, we will destroy that tallest, greenest, most unapologetic bastion of Frenchness on our shores. You know what I'm talking about, that sandal and toga wearing hussie, the Statue of Liberty. Toss her in the sea. Yee hah!
That one may not play well in the sticks, but if we want to be true to our cause we must go back in history, and pull no punches. All streets named after Lafayette should be changed.
Ben Franklin spent a lot of time in Paris. He invented libraries, and that word sounds awfully French. So those should close, and we'll have to change the $100 bill.
In fact, all the Founders were heavily influenced by French philosophy. The rough draft of our Bill of Rights was virtually written in Paris coffee shops.
This stopped being fun a while ago, but we have to stop the surrender monkeys. Here's a joke: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? We don't know, it's never been tried.
Haha, their country got overrun by Nazis, that's so funny. We all know the French are too cowardly to make war. Although, some guys named Napoleon and Charlemagne did something once. But that was way before America, so who cares?
We have disagreements with the French. They object to our unilateral approach to war and our arrogant rhetoric. We come back with a bunch of stupid jokes about their food and military losses. Then, we wonder why the world doesn't follow us into war.
Sanjai Tripathi is a columnist for The Daily Barometer. The opinions in his column do not necessarily reflect those of The Barometer staff. Tripathi can be reached at sanjaitripathi@netscape.net.
