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This guy has an interesting way of putting it

Argo

Lifer
Apr 8, 2000
10,045
0
0
Hehe :) The guy is explaining how alcohol is made but he has a rather peculiar way of putting it. Translating probably won't work since a lot of it is based on word play that won't make sense in English.
 

tasmanian

Diamond Member
Dec 22, 2006
3,813
1
0
Originally posted by: Argo
Hehe :) The guy is explaining how alcohol is made but he has a rather peculiar way of putting it. Translating probably won't work since a lot of it is based on word play that won't make sense in English.
OOOOO now it makes so much sense.
 

JEDIYoda

Lifer
Jul 13, 2005
33,733
3,180
126
Originally posted by: Argo
Hehe :) The guy is explaining how alcohol is made but he has a rather peculiar way of putting it. Translating probably won't work since a lot of it is based on word play that won't make sense in English.
Actually translating would work just fine!!
But why take the time to translate it?

Not peculiar for somebody from that part of the world..lol
 

lyssword

Diamond Member
Dec 15, 2005
5,761
25
91
"unfortunately, as I pointed out, more than half of you are familiar with this poison in the form of beer, vine and vodka, but very few know how they make it. But i know, and will tell you with pleasure.

People learned to make alcohol from ancient times in the following original method: they took a container, and in the container they poured grape juice. It's a water solution with vitamins, sugars and ferments, by the way very healthy for a human.

They let in yeast bacterium. The yeast bacteria are very big sugartooths, and under microscope it's visible : here are the eyes, here is the mouth, here's the tail. Here it eats sugar . There are folds in the tail and there from behind comes out ethyl alcohol. c2h5OH.

So it turns out the alcohol is none other than the urine of yeast bacteria. In scientific terms, excrements. So here are bacteria devour sugar, produce more and more urine, and when the concentration of urine in the container reaches 11%, like any living organism they suffocate in their own shit and die.

If they immediately distribute that substance it's called "dry vine ordinary". Be kind, they sell it in Moscow at every corner.

But if they let it stay for 2 years, filter out dead yeast bodies, and only leave out urine with left overs of grape juice, they call that "dry vine ***something*" it costs 2 times more. They'll stick a military order, a medal. They have more success selling it.

Many people, especially young people, young ladies for some reason like Champagne. And how they make Champagne, they don't know. But I know! And also will tell you with pleasure :)

I went on excursion to *Brauderso* it's the homeplace of soviet Champagne in Krasnodavskiy land.

They make Champagne with the following original method: They take a special green thick bottle, and pour bunch of vine juice in five different flavors. The main flavor of champagne.

Depending on relationships of those different flavors of juices they get Dry kind, half dry, sweet, half-sweet and brute. Five flavors of champagne. They pour in the juices, let in the yeast, and in time shut the bottle with special wooden cork.

They in the mountains they have long *stholni* they have slots to put the bottles in. So they have the new harvest, put in new bottles in those slots, they seal and lock them. Year round the temperature is 14 Celsius. Doesn't change winter or summer. And 2 years, in total darkness and peace those bacteria convert sugar into that very green stuff.

When after 2 years the process is coming to a finish, and it's time to complete the plan, they open those slots and get a powerful light projector in there. And they turn out very bright and powerful light. Out of suddenness and fear *audience laughs* those yeast bacteria catch diarrhea and they, out of that fear and diarrhea die. But before they die, they still fart more and more gas out of fear. *draws pic*

And for some reason, the drunkards value those gases the most. How the drunkard drinks the champagne, and how it bursts him with those gas farts in the nose it really gets him high. "



The end.
 

ForumMaster

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2005
7,797
1
0
yeah sure. let's start posting things in foreign lanuages that about 7 people (according to at-wiki) know. i could post something in hebrew. even less people know that. this is a forum in englishso post things in english.
 

JEDIYoda

Lifer
Jul 13, 2005
33,733
3,180
126
Originally posted by: ForumMaster
yeah sure. let's start posting things in foreign lanuages that about 7 people (according to at-wiki) know. i could post something in hebrew. even less people know that. this is a forum in englishso post things in english.
Actuallly being able to fluently speak and understand Russian, Polish, Czech as well as Hebrew and german are disctint advanatges!!

Being Jewish also has it`s advantages!!
 

ForumMaster

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2005
7,797
1
0
Originally posted by: JEDIYoda
Originally posted by: ForumMaster
yeah sure. let's start posting things in foreign lanuages that about 7 people (according to at-wiki) know. i could post something in hebrew. even less people know that. this is a forum in englishso post things in english.
Actuallly being able to fluently speak and understand Russian, Polish, Czech as well as Hebrew and german are disctint advanatges!!

Being Jewish also has it`s advantages!!
well that's great and all, but nevertheless, i don't think many members here are fluent in so many languages.
 

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