This "Fidelity-thing" is killing me...

[MichaelD]

How the hell are you supposed to do this? How are you only supposed to have sexual relations (that means intercourse, oral sex or handjobs to you guys that think like me..."define sex....") with only one woman...FOREVER?

Why make one woman miserable when I can make so many so happy? Explain this to me, please.


I am not a jerk. At least as far as I know. I love my GF...really, I do. I would push her out of the way and get hit by the bus if she was in danger. She means everything to me.

However. (you like the "however"...I know you do....) Women are.....WOMEN. Women are a beautiful thing. All curvy and soft and easy on the eyes. I love my GF. I just want to have sex with many other women as well.

Now, you women out there may think that I think I'm some kind of "God's Gift to the Fairer Sex" Ah, no. I don't think that way. I've been smacked more times than I can count...but I've also been, um "treated to the theme park" just as many times. You'd be surprised what some smooth talk and a decent body will get you.

I'm not young anymore. I wish I was. The "problem" is that now, at this age, I get the big smile from the 21 year old girls...and their 41 year old Moms. And they both look great to me. Really.

But I love my GF...what the hell is wrong with me?

 

[gopunk]

i think you need treatment... you sound like an addict.

aside from that, if you're not ready to settle down, then don't!

 

[Viper GTS]

Just how old are you?

Viper GTS

 

[djheater]

Have you considered the Church of Latter Day Saints?

sounds like you have the too typical commitment problem... either you'll get over it or you won't. If you don't you're sure to piss off many fine women leaving them easier prey for the sincere guys.

 

[MichaelD]

For once, Gopunk, I agree with you. Really. It's a blessing and a curse all rolled up in one. I've read up on "sexual addiction." It's all about the chase being more important than the kill for the sex addict. But...I like both.

The whole act of...well, the actual ACT is just as exciting as the whole premise of "man...I may just get those panties...." (excuse the bluntness)

I have never once in my life had any malevolent thoughts towards a women I've slept with...I have NEVER made any woman do anything she didn't want to do...see, that's half the thrill for me...knowing that they WANT to do this.............it's been this way for a long time....I dunno what to do.

 

[Corn]

It's clear you don't love your girlfriend.

I was a hound dog till I met my wife.

Do I find some other women attractive?

Sure....but the desire is not the same as it was before I met my wife.

Without honor and respect, there is no love.

 

[MichaelD]

<< Just how old are you? >>



33. And was involved w/my highschool GF at 15. I got hooked very early...still hooked.

 

[Geekbabe]

<< This "Fidelity-thing" is killing me... >>




sigh, much as we all love you it's beginning to kill us too.


Why not invest a few $$ in talking things over with a therapist instead of trying to get us to come up with rationalzations as to why it would be okay for you to have your cake and eat it to ?

 

[BatmanNate]

<< Have you considered the Church of Latter Day Saints? q]

ROTFLMAO!!!!

 

[Nutdotnet]

Do you actually get hooked up with other women while you have been with your gf?

 

[jeremy806]

Get married.

Then think about making ailimony payments for the rest of your life.

It keeps me on track.

On a more serious note, think how you would feel if the GF/wife messed around on you. Don't do that to a person.

jeremy806

 

[djheater]

<< Do you actually get hooked up with other women while you have been with your gf? >>



I believe he meant he lost his virginity at 15 not that he's been with the same girl since he was 15. correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[MichaelD]

<<

<< Do you actually get hooked up with other women while you have been with your gf? >>



I believe he meant he lost his virginity at 15 not that he's been with the same girl since he was 15. correct me if I'm wrong. >>



OMG, yes, you are correct! :Q I did lose it (mentally and physically) at that age. Same girl since then? Do you want me to go insane? Sheesh. Cohabitation SUCKS monster Moose testicles.

 

[MichaelD]

<< Get married.

Then think about making ailimony payments for the rest of your life.

It keeps me on track. >>



I'm smarter than that. At least in my own mind. I already have a child support payment that is killing me. Much to my dismay, I got played and taken to the cleaners I am since substantially more careful, but not less promiscuous.

 

[gopunk]

For once, Gopunk, I agree with you.

hmm, i was under the impression we agreed more often...

Really. It's a blessing and a curse all rolled up in one. I've read up on "sexual addiction." It's all about the chase being more important than the kill for the sex addict. But...I like both.
The whole act of...well, the actual ACT is just as exciting as the whole premise of "man...I may just get those panties...." (excuse the bluntness)
I have never once in my life had any malevolent thoughts towards a women I've slept with...I have NEVER made any woman do anything she didn't want to do...see, that's half the thrill for me...knowing that they WANT to do this.............it's been this way for a long time....I dunno what to do.

*nods*

and ultimately, it doesn't matter if you're a sexual addict or not. if your impulses and behavior are leading you to be unhappy, and you're having trouble fixing it yourself, i think therapy would be the best thing... sure it's a pain in the ass, but it's better than being unhappy eh?

 

[MichaelD]

Maybe I do need to consult someone who is a total damn freak in their own little warped mind...but who has that piece of paper on the wall that says "Doctor". Other than my addiction to the fairer sex, I'm a pretty outstanding individual. Clean cut. No drugs. No smoke. Job. Two jobs, actually.

Send Mom cards for all the holidays. Feed stray animals. Give a buck to the homeless guy. *(sigh)* This is not easy.

 

[djheater]

<<

and ultimately, it doesn't matter if you're a sexual addict or not. if your impulses and behavior are leading you to be unhappy, and you're having trouble fixing it yourself, i think therapy would be the best thing... sure it's a pain in the ass, but it's better than being unhappy eh? >>



Fvck therapist's up the butt. Is this really something he needs to bring to therapy? Jesus... I've got a real mind blowing idea. How about you take responsibility for your own actions and do what you bloody damn well please rather than pay some a-hole $100 bucks an hour to tell you the same damn thing....

 

[ScoobMaster]

I wish I could give you some wisdom - but I can't relate to how you feel. I was lucky (blessed?) to survive the high school and college years with my virginity intact (not for lack of trying to mess that up, LOL).

Anyway, when I met my wife, it became apparent after a few month's of dating that I had found my soulmate. She had never been with anyone else either, so we have never experienced sex with anyone else but each other. I think this makes it easier for us since there is no "mental comparison" going on in the bed. To us, we are both "the best lovers we have ever had"

Not only is she my love, but also my best friend - she has a lot of my interests in common and we do almost everything together. I can't imagine waking up and not having her there beside me! Anyway - like I said, maybe I am just one of the "ultra lucky ones". However (to borrow your word ) I think it CAN happen for any two people why are extremely compatibale.


Maybe the early experience with sex started this "addiction" for you - if it is I guess i am glad I failed at my "conquest" attempts.

 

[ThisIsMatt]

Chop off your wanker.

Problem solved.




















*smirk*

 

[djheater]

glad to see we agree about that at least

 

[MichaelD]

<< How about you take responsibility for your own actions >>



Man, I'm taking up bandwith tonight...

I pay my CS and see my son every other weekend. I have the worst relationship w/his mom...but I won't get into that here. But I took responsibility for what I created. I consider myself smart. But, any smart guy would've learned by his "mistakes" and freakn' neutered himself by now. I can't believe I 've come this far...beat the odds...to fall victim to the oldest vice in the book.

 

[gopunk]

<<

<<

and ultimately, it doesn't matter if you're a sexual addict or not. if your impulses and behavior are leading you to be unhappy, and you're having trouble fixing it yourself, i think therapy would be the best thing... sure it's a pain in the ass, but it's better than being unhappy eh? >>



Fvck therapist's up the butt. Is this really something he needs to bring to therapy? Jesus... I've got a real mind blowing idea. How about you take responsibility for your own actions and do what you bloody damn well please rather than pay some a-hole $100 bucks an hour to tell you the same damn thing.... >>



look, not everybody is like you... some people find therapy useful. if you don't, great, but you're not in any sort of position to tell people whether it will be useful to them or not.

 

[datalink7]

Too much love will kill you, it'll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you and you won't understand why
You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again too much love will kill you
In the end, in the end


Queen - Too Much Love Will Kill You

 

[Linux23]

Yes, I agree with GoPunk here. GoPunk is no stranger when it comes to seeing a shrink!




(j/k)

 

Yeah, I agree: Screw so-called therapists. They are bunch of dupers. :Q They just want your money. An ordinary Joe or Jane can find himself or herself without the crappy institutionalised therapy.

MichaelD, please make sense of your question in of itself: "Why make one woman miserable when I can make so many so happy? Explain this to me, please."

So, my friend, if one is not happy, then how could many be happy? It seems to me you're attempting to practice utilitarianism here, but I'm afraid you are mistaken in your thinking there. If many would be happy, then would not one be a member of many? How could one therefore be miserable? Are not we having some holism going on here? Please explain to me exactly how many would be content if they are broken into parts and as parts there is discontent?

See, my friend, I have been pondering on this whole monogamy vs. polygamy thing and find it quite hypocritical the practice of mistresses/adultery being excused/accepted as a standard for men, yet legally we continue to oblige men and women if I may add to one woman and one man.

On the other hand, since that is our legal standard and theoretical belief, I think infidelity is just plain wrong--unless consented by significant other either explicitly or by her practice of sticking with such crap. Alternatively, you can emigrate to a country that legalises and traditionally accepts polygamy, but be aware that you are less likely to enjoy as much liberty as this country affords you. :Q Oops! I forgot: The isolated part of Utah is another option, where live some old men practicing polygamy as old former Mormons ('cuz the Church no longer endorses such practice).

But then again, we can logically, or technically rather, conclude that you are not obliged to limit yourself to this woman since you have made no vows to her either verbally or in documents. Or have you?

"33. And was involved w/my highschool GF at 15. I got hooked very early...still hooked."

Uhmm . . . hon', don't you think you are a little too old though to still be battling questions like this.

"I'm smarter than that. At least in my own mind. I already have a child support payment that is killing me. Much to my dismay, I got played and taken to the cleaners I am since substantially more careful, but not less promiscuous."

Aaah! And to make it worse, you've made a baby with someone else already! :Q Well, hon', you get what you ask for. Now that I know that, I think you need to get real and get your acts together. Your personal pleasure can no longer be a priority in such casual loose, lazy manner! :disgust:

Okay, that's my piece of the pie. Or you can call it free version of therapy! Do whatever you wish with it. LOL!

[Scoobmaster:] "Anyway, when I met my wife, it became apparent after a few month's of dating that I had found my soulmate. She had never been with anyone else either, so we have never experienced sex with anyone else but each other. I think this makes it easier for us since there is no 'mental comparison' going on in the bed. To us, we are both 'the best lovers we have ever had'"

Aaaaaww! That is sooooo sweet, Scoobmaster! I hope you practice what you've stated 'cuz I know some folks who speak greatly in public of their significant other, but behind the doors they are doing crap or having a difficult time. I pray it remains sweet and enduring for you and your wife.