Thinking about smuggling Milk into a Restaurant

[fustercluck]

Greetings fellows. I couldn't sleep so i decided to come to the OT lounge.

There's this place near by called "The Good Egg" not sure if it's just a local kinda place or what (there's multiple locations here in Tucson), it's a breakfast joint as you probably figured out by the name of it. The food is great. The big problem is that when you order a "large" Milk, they give you these little small glasses, not far from shot glasses and they cost 2 bucks each, no free refills. Ridiculous! I can't be denied milk during breakfast. I can go down to the store and buy 2 gallons of great milk for 2 bucks. I'm not going to pay the price at the good egg.

What to do...Ah yes! I need to smuggle some milk in somehow. Perhaps in some kind of container in my pocket. Maybe there's some kind of liquid container out there made for bikers and such that could work. I would rather not drink it out of a large tube thing though, or else it would be too obvious. Just something big enough so i could keep refilling my glass of milk. Would definitely be worth it...unless i got caught, which would just be embarrassing. Don't think anyone would care much, so i wouldn't really have to be super secret about it. Any ideas? Have i got totally batshit loco? I can't help it, i haven't slept in a while.

 

[RbSX]

Get one of those mountain biking waterbottles, they're like a napsack with a really long tube, so that way when you're not drinking you can hide the tube, or say you've got some health disorder and it's some special stuff.

 

[smack Down]

One option might be to hide it in a maple surype container. Just tell them you would rather use pure Vermont maple surpye then the fake crap.

 

[Eli]

surype .. lol

 

[fustercluck]

Hmm, good idea Ryan. That may be the way to go.

But there is another dilemma, oh dear! I would like to keep the milk cold from the time i leave the house to the time i sit down to eat at the restaurant, that can be a long time. I won't put icecubes in it...EWWW. I guess warm milk would be better than no milk though, so the plan is still intact.

 

[shilala]

Put it in balloons and hide it in your ass.

BTW, shens on the 2 gallons for 2 bucks comment.

 

[ribbon13]

put it in the freezer half an hour before you leave?

 

[Goosemaster]

wow.....interestingly enough, according to the data banks at the NSA, this is the first time someone has EVER tried to smuggle milk INTO a restaurnant

:thumsbup; for having me win the pool

 

[quakefiend420]

damn you

i just had to go buy some chocolate milk because of this thread :|

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: quakefiend420
damn you

i just had to go buy some chocolate milk because of this thread :|

<---goes and makes fress chocolate milk with milk that he smuggled out of jacktackle's fridge :evil:

 

[fustercluck]

Originally posted by: shilala
BTW, shens on the 2 gallons for 2 bucks comment.

Nah man, For serious. High quality stuff we're talking here too. Not 2 bucks all the time, but every now that then. Usually 2.47, not too shabby either.

Why hasn't any mentioned breast milk yet? Is this an off night for the off topic folk? I certainly don't plan to use breast milk, i'm just surprised it hasn't shown up yet.

Frozen milk doesn't sound too good...even if i freeze it for just a half hour you know there's going to be little shards of ice in it and it will taste all watery. Thanks for the suggestion though.

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: jacktackle

Originally posted by: shilala
BTW, shens on the 2 gallons for 2 bucks comment.

Nah man, For serious. High quality stuff we're talking here too. Not 2 bucks all the time, but every now that then. Usually 2.47, not too shabby either.

Why hasn't any mentioned breast milk yet? Is this an off night for the off topic folk? I certainly don't plan to use breast milk, i'm just surprised it hasn't shown up yet.

Frozen milk doesn't sound too good...even if i freeze it for just a half hour you know there's going to be little shards of ice in it and it will taste all watery. Thanks for the suggestion though.

ih my.....looks like you have bigger problems...

 

[Goosemaster]

For some reason this came to mind

 

[shilala]

Originally posted by: Goosemaster
For some reason this came to mind

That was good stuff.

 

[sniperruff]

just put it in a bottle and tell them that is special milk since you're lactose-intolerant.

or just tell them you have the finest cambodian milk like dave chapelle drinks.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: jacktackle
Hmm, good idea Ryan. That may be the way to go.

But there is another dilemma, oh dear! I would like to keep the milk cold from the time i leave the house to the time i sit down to eat at the restaurant, that can be a long time. I won't put icecubes in it...EWWW. I guess warm milk would be better than no milk though, so the plan is still intact.

Haha problem solved.

It's a backpack, and inside the backpack is a plastic sealed bag that the milk goes in, you can put ice packs in the actual backpack.

 

[fustercluck]

Maybe this is coming together. How big is the backpack though? I don't want it to be too big.

 

[quakefiend420]

Originally posted by: jacktackle
Maybe this is coming together. How big is the backpack though? I don't want it to be too big.

so you're gonna spend 50 bucks on a camelbak to avoid expensive milk? :laugh: :laugh:

 

[smack Down]

I wouldn't go with the house because it will be a pain to clean.

 

[orakle]

Originally posted by: sniperruff
just put it in a bottle and tell them that is special milk since you're lactose-intolerant.

or just tell them you have the finest cambodian milk like dave chapelle drinks.

I think this is the best idea I've heard.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: quakefiend420

Originally posted by: jacktackle
Maybe this is coming together. How big is the backpack though? I don't want it to be too big.

so you're gonna spend 50 bucks on a camelbak to avoid expensive milk? :laugh: :laugh:

Wow, if you're paying 50 for a camel pack theres something wrong with you.

 

[MobiusPizza]

Originally posted by: sniperruff
just put it in a bottle and tell them that is special milk termed Human Breast Milk

Fixed

Or Homo Sapiens Breast Milk if you want it to be less disturbing

 

[quakefiend420]

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Originally posted by: quakefiend420

Originally posted by: jacktackle
Maybe this is coming together. How big is the backpack though? I don't want it to be too big.

so you're gonna spend 50 bucks on a camelbak to avoid expensive milk? :laugh: :laugh:

Wow, if you're paying 50 for a camel pack theres something wrong with you.

well...that's what i remember seeing them go for several years ago...i guess they're cheaper now

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: RyanSengara
Get one of those mountain biking waterbottles, they're like a napsack with a really long tube, so that way when you're not drinking you can hide the tube, or say you've got some health disorder and it's some special stuff.

Yep, nothing like drinking milk out of a plastic waterbottle. BTW-Those things do impart a nasty plastic flavor to anything you put in them for about the first couple uses. Might want to keep that in mind. I wouldn't leave any beverage in them for more than a couple hours or it won't taste right. Especially something like milk.