Think about these for a second...

Twista

Diamond Member
Jun 19, 2003
9,646
1
0
Things to ponder . . . .



Can you cry under water?



How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?



If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?



Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?



Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"?

Where's that extra penny going to?



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?



What disease did cured ham actually have?



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?



If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?



How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America?



Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway.



If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?



Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?



Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?



Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"



Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?



Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?



When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you
going to be smiling?



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?



Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!



What do you call male ballerinas?



Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?



If Wyle E Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner?



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

what is baby oil made from?



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?



Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
 

daveymark

Lifer
Sep 15, 2003
10,573
1
0


Can you cry under water? yes



How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered? they need to hold a high ranking government position



If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? money doesn't grow on banks either



Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? because it is sliced from a cylindrical piece of meat



Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"? because it's cheaper to ask for someone's thoughts than it is for them to give you their thoughts

Where's that extra penny going to? supply and demand, the penny hasn't gone anywhere. you place more value on your own thoughts



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity? no, you wear a white robe



Why does a round pizza come in a square box? beause it stacks easier



What disease did cured ham actually have? it didn't



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage? because space is more important than your flight to texarkana



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours? because a baby, when asleep, is the cutest thing



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? yes



If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? most likely



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? a movie is not a physical thing like a tv is



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground? because things look different from a higher altitude



How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America? we can choose whomever we like



Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway. the less they see of you naked the better



If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? where is she when she has the heart attack? If she's in a hospital, she calls the nurse



Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? you've got me there



Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? no



Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" No one said that


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Because some people like them burnt



Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? The fridge is bigger, and some freezers do have lights



When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you
going to be smiling? They didn't tell me to smile



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Yes, if there's someone in the passenger seat



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Have you tried fixing a hole in a boat with a radio?



Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? The same reason they point to the radio when they want you to hear something



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs! Pluto can't talk; therefore he is a pet



What do you call male ballerinas? premier danseur



Can blind people see their dreams? if they once were able to see, yes Do they dream? yes



If Wyle E Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner? it wouldn't be funny if he did that



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

what is baby oil made from? avocados



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? no, it comes from the Bush administration



Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Yep



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? yep, so does baa baa black sheep



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? the same reason we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? Yes, I did notice that.

 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Very likely. There was a recent story (was on 60 Minutes last weekend) regarding the guy who worked at Annheiser Busch who one evening at a bar was given a Coors Light by mistake, and the boss' son noticed this. After his refusal to give up the Coors Light for a Bud Light, he was fired the next day.
 

her209

No Lifer
Oct 11, 2000
56,336
11
0
Originally posted by: daveymark
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered? they need to hold a high ranking government position
Martin Luther King? Malcolm X?
 

dugweb

Diamond Member
Oct 17, 2002
3,935
1
81
Originally posted by: daveymark


Can you cry under water? yes

<snip>

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? Yes, I did notice that.

ah, you're no fun :(
 

Twista

Diamond Member
Jun 19, 2003
9,646
1
0
Originally posted by: daveymark


Can you cry under water? yes



How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered? they need to hold a high ranking government position



If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? money doesn't grow on banks either



Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? because it is sliced from a cylindrical piece of meat



Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"? because it's cheaper to ask for someone's thoughts than it is for them to give you their thoughts

Where's that extra penny going to? supply and demand, the penny hasn't gone anywhere. you place more value on your own thoughts



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity? no, you wear a white robe



Why does a round pizza come in a square box? beause it stacks easier



What disease did cured ham actually have? it didn't



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage? because space is more important than your flight to texarkana



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours? because a baby, when asleep, is the cutest thing



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? yes



If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? most likely



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? a movie is not a physical thing like a tv is



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground? because things look different from a higher altitude



How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America? we can choose whomever we like



Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway. the less they see of you naked the better



If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? where is she when she has the heart attack? If she's in a hospital, she calls the nurse



Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? you've got me there



Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? no



Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" No one said that


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Because some people like them burnt



Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? The fridge is bigger, and some freezers do have lights



When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you
going to be smiling? They didn't tell me to smile



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Yes, if there's someone in the passenger seat



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Have you tried fixing a hole in a boat with a radio?



Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? The same reason they point to the radio when they want you to hear something



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs! Pluto can't talk; therefore he is a pet



What do you call male ballerinas? premier danseur



Can blind people see their dreams? if they once were able to see, yes Do they dream? yes



If Wyle E Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner? it wouldn't be funny if he did that



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

what is baby oil made from? avocados



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? no, it comes from the Bush administration



Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Yep



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? yep, so does baa baa black sheep



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? the same reason we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? Yes, I did notice that.


Wow, i wasnt expecting that!