Think about it

SKORPI0

Lifer
Jan 18, 2000
18,463
2,397
136
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

14. Stop singing and read on..........

15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

18. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Did a search and not sure if this is a repost , sorry if it is. :)
 

PatboyX

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2001
7,024
0
0
im sure the smartasses around here will answer all these questions before the day is out.

(by the way, the answer to the first one is sean cassidy)
 

Drekce

Golden Member
Sep 29, 2000
1,398
0
76
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

I have a light in my freezer.
 

badmouse

Platinum Member
Dec 3, 2003
2,862
2
0
7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Because the OB-GYN only gets paid for the looking-up part, of course. If they could bill for the time they watched you undress, they'd watch.
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
who was the one to think they can crack open insects of the sea (I guess what they call seafood). .. and EAT them ?! (5th time I mentioned this on ATOT :D)
 

DrPizza

Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Mar 5, 2001
49,601
166
111
www.slatebrookfarm.com
Originally posted by: Lonyo
We have a light in our freezer.

Me too, actually 2 lights in the freezer.
Answer to question #3 is because the author bought a cheap-ass fridge.

My question: with the global market, do they sell alphabet soup in countries where the alphabet is different? ie Is there a chinese alphabet soup?
 

Klixxer

Diamond Member
Apr 7, 2004
6,149
0
0
Eh, who DOESN'T have a light in their freezer, i assume it's some old box and not a modern freezer they mean.
 

KB

Diamond Member
Nov 8, 1999
5,406
389
126
10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


Testicle?
 

minendo

Elite Member
Aug 31, 2001
35,558
20
81
Originally posted by: Klixxer
Eh, who DOESN'T have a light in their freezer, i assume it's some old box and not a modern freezer they mean.

I don't and the unit is fairly new.
 

Red

Diamond Member
Aug 22, 2002
3,704
0
0
Originally posted by: minendo
Originally posted by: Klixxer
Eh, who DOESN'T have a light in their freezer, i assume it's some old box and not a modern freezer they mean.

I don't and the unit is fairly new.

How do you find your fudge pops?
 

sillymofo

Banned
Aug 11, 2003
5,817
2
0
To answer your questions:

* It's the same guy for #1 & #2

* 3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- That's your problem, some of us can buy new shiets, and new fridges do have lights in the freezer.

* 4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- What song?

* 5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
- I don't know, but, if they ever go to trial, the case would be dismissed, since they can't question the witness.

* 6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Because the most prominent thing on a wrist is a watch. If you point to your crotch, it could mean many things, such as "I got crabs", "Sucky sucky?", or it could be #2 that you're wanting the bathroom for. You'd definitely don't want to point to your butt in that case, because that could have some grave consequences, if you're in the wrong place, say San Francisco, or prison.

* 7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
- I don't know, why don't you ask.

* 8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- Because Goofy is kin to Scooby, and they're highly evolved forms of dogs. Pluto, on the other hand, hangs around Mini, and may be that's the reason why he's on the ground most of the time.

* 9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- The last time I check, I didn't see any restaurant anywhere close to Wile, and ACME doesn't sell food. Due to trade restrictions and contractual agreement between ACME and Warner Bros, Wile has to hunt his own food. Besides, they're incahoots.

* 10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- What are you, a moron? It's testicle... simple enough.

* 11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
- Baby seals.

* 12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Now, this is a trick question, see #10 for answer.

* 13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- It was rumor to have been produced by Milli Vanilly, and later Creed.

* 14. Stop singing and read on..........
- Stop singing and read on..........

* 15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
- News flash, the Whitehouse is the biggest client of the Alphabet Soup company, and evidently, it didn't work really well.

* 16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Because the wind out side the windows doesn't have the same texture and flavor of the wind that's generated by you. Ever wonder why your friend sits far away? Friends?

* 17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
- Yes, oompa loompas, the secret behind elevator operations are directly responsible for the promt arrival of the cart. After Willy Wonka outsource the manufacturing of chocolate to Africa, the oompa loompas were layed off. Despite union efforts trying to retain their jobs, they have to take up positions as elevators actuators. The buttons on the elevators are directly wired to the oompa loompas derier, and every time a button is pushed, a jolt of .0023 jigga watts (est.) of electricity is received by the oompa loompas and thus operation begins. The more a button is pushed, that exponentially generate more electricity and therefore would create a sense of urgency upon the oompa, hence the phrase "put some fire on that ass".

* 18. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
- What e-mail address? The dabooboo@verizon.com? I never gave that to you! :confused:

:p
 

Eggs don't come out of a chicken's butt. They're not poop - they're eggs. They come out of the vagina.