I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.
My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar.
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.
I use public toilets and piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible, hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non- biodegradable Styrofoam containers! And when I'm done suckin' down those grease ball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American flag and then toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a God-damned thing anybody can do about it. You know why?
i used to wear a kilt a lot, but i haven't been mobile much lately, so i haven't been wearing it. Kilts suck for sitting around a house.
I have purchased several dogs from....BREEDERS! GASP!
Dogs from breeders tend to be a little to gamey for me.
w
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A kilt's the only way to go for comfort when you're active, especially in the summer. It's not so great for just sitting around.
Do you dance in it? With black socks and boots?
you tip 15-20% over normal 15% or you just tip 15-20%? Because that's normal.
Now you're just trolling.Oh...and I got my cat de-clawed.
Disney musicals.
I'd rip on anyone that didn't like them.
High school musical is disney right? They're pretty fucking stupid.
i like apple and own an iphone, ipad and macbook pro
i like the following shows (because my kids watch them): big time rush, icarly, spongebob, fanboy and chumchum
i prefer to game on a console
Now you're just trolling.
You are just trolling, right?
I liked Tropical Thunder.
we should de-finger baby humans while we're at it...because we don't like it when they pick their noses or stick fingers into electrical sockets.
There's a really good straight line there. Pure gold.I told him we should de-finger baby humans while we're at it.
