Things you can say about your car, but not your girl friend

[KrillBee]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
I spit polished the bumper.

lol

 

[RaistlinZ]

She can fit up to three large men in the rear.

 

[montanafan]

I still remember a Colin Mochre(?) line about things you can say about your motorcycle, but not your girlfriend.

It's okay, if you don't mind the bugs in your teeth.

 

[b0mbrman]

She lets me stick my penis in her exhaust pipe (or anus, for a girlfriend)

I put my penis in the glove compartment. It was wonderful

I ejaculated semen on the hood of my car

LOL. I could go on all day!

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: Maximus96
all of my friends' been in her one time or another.

Or, I can fit me and 3 of my friends in her at once.

 

[aircooled]

time for another Jiffy Lube

 

[LordMorpheus]

We used to rag on a friend of mine and call his girlfriend "kia." When he looked at us funny we explained it was because she was cheap and high maintainence. haha, good times.

 

[thehstrybean]

"Lube her up right and she goes forever"

 

[CaptnKirk]

Can go from zero to sixty-nine in less than 3 seconds.

 

[SophalotJack]

I can redline my car every day.
The only redline the gf has is a stain on her panties... and she only does it once a month.

My car doesn't break down if I forget it's birthday.

My car doesn't complain if I don't warm it up before "take her around the block."

My car only needs maintainence every 15000 miles... gf needs it every 15 min.

lol... My car lets me sleep inside her.

My car doesn't tell me to pull over and ask for directions... it GIVES them to me.

 

[TXHokie]

She doesn't mind if I ride another.

 

[CKent]

The rear end's getting a bit loose.

 

[tfinch2]

Originally posted by: b0mbrman
She lets me stick my penis in her exhaust pipe (or anus, for a girlfriend)

I put my penis in the glove compartment. It was wonderful

I ejaculated semen on the hood of my car

LOL. I could go on all day!

Of all the ones everyone said, yours are the most un-funny...

They don't even make any sense!

 

[SVT Cobra]

On a side note, if it's a boat:


She's taking on water!

 

[GuitarDaddy]

If I don't feed her premium, she knocks and bangs all over town

 

[Zombie]

I can pop the trunk anytime I want and put stuff in it

 

[randomlinh]

Originally posted by: tfinch2

Originally posted by: b0mbrman
She lets me stick my penis in her exhaust pipe (or anus, for a girlfriend)

I put my penis in the glove compartment. It was wonderful

I ejaculated semen on the hood of my car

LOL. I could go on all day!

Of all the ones everyone said, yours are the most un-funny...

They don't even make any sense!

 

[Tommouse]

LOL Great thread! :laugh:

To quote the D "I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey!!"

I love to take out my car on the weekends and flog it in the corners

She needs some work, the ride seems to be a bit too soft

 

[booger711]

a moped is a lot like a fat chick.
they are fun to ride, until your friends find out you have one.

 

[mercanucaribe]

It... uhh.. likes it rough.. and dirty.... in the woods...

Only In A Jeep!