Things that the average Joe should know but doesn't

[CStan]

Originally posted by: Nomada
If you have to sleep in your car 'cause your loaded, don't leave the keys in the ignition. Many idiots get busted like this.
LG does not stand for "Life's Good".

It's Lucky-Goldstar right?

 

[kranky]

Whenever you get a letter from your bank that says "In order to better serve you, our valued customer..." you are going to end up with less money.

Don't settle for lousy friends. Find people who will be loyal, honest friends because they are worth their weight in gold. And if people change, don't feel obligated to stay close friends. And if you want a friend, first be a friend.

It's a heck of a lot easier to permanently damage your hearing than you think.

You probably don't need half the stuff you have.

That funny email you received has been around for five years.

Baseball is the greatest sport ever.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: CStan

Originally posted by: Nomada
If you have to sleep in your car 'cause your loaded, don't leave the keys in the ignition. Many idiots get busted like this.
LG does not stand for "Life's Good".

It's Lucky-Goldstar right?

Actually, Goldstar is part of it. I'll be damned if I know what the L is, though.

And they should DEFINITELY know the difference between "memory" and "hard drive"

"I need to replace your computer's memory"
"OH NOES I DIDN'T BACK THINGS UP"

 

[icejunkie]

Pepsi > Coca Cola

Sorry, your Toyota is a Ford!!!

 

[mobobuff]

That love is simply an emotion designed by evolution to insure the reproduction of a species that does not procreate by instinct.

 

[shortspanishguy]

Originally posted by: SLCentral
Bose sucks.

!!!!!!

 

[Promethply]

That the more you learn and the greater your understanding about things around you, the more you realize how little you actually know

 

[Quasmo]

Originally posted by: kranky

That funny email you received has been around for five years.

I yelled at my mom cause she kept sending me stupid ass emails. Now I only get vital emails from her. Its already hard enough deleting spam from other jerks, let only from my own mother.

 

[JoeKing]

It's called SODA! :|

 

[Maetryx]

Originally posted by: mobobuff
That love is simply an emotion designed by evolution to insure the reproduction of a species that does not procreate by instinct.

That "design" is an act by an intelligent being.

Nothing is not something or a situation with potential. Nothing is nothing.

That science does not support the notion that the universe came out of nothing without a Cause.

 

[piroroadkill]

Originally posted by: LoKe
Don't use handsoap as lube.

Or shampoo. Or at least, if you do, make sure to wash it off THOROUGHLY after. Oh, and I mean for masturbation. Don't bother trying any of this with an actual woman. Oh god no.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Ignore all sex, girlfriend, job and legal advice you get on ATOT.

 

[eflat]

Originally posted by: brigden
Never EVER wear socks and sandals.

Wrong

 

[JoeKing]

Originally posted by: piroroadkill

Originally posted by: LoKe
Don't use handsoap as lube.

Or shampoo. Or at least, if you do, make sure to wash it off THOROUGHLY after. Oh, and I mean for masturbation. Don't bother trying any of this with an actual woman. Oh god no.

So that's why they put that "For external use only!" warning on the bottle. Eureka!

 

[Mucho]

Originally posted by: CitizenDoug

Originally posted by: brigden
Never EVER wear socks and sandals.

Wrong

I have to agree with brigden on this one.

 

[Maetryx]

Fluorescent light tubes are hazardous waste due to mercury content. However, the EPA does not regulate household garbage as hazardous waste. But your state or local solid waste authority might. In any case, all fluorescent light tubes generated by businesses and organizations are regulated hazardous waste.

 

[shilala]

Don't rollerskate in a buffalo herd.

 

[QuitBanningMe]

Originally posted by: piroroadkill

Originally posted by: LoKe
Don't use handsoap as lube.

Or shampoo. Or at least, if you do, make sure to wash it off THOROUGHLY after. Oh, and I mean for masturbation. Don't bother trying any of this with an actual woman. Oh god no.

Doesn't matter if you wash it off good. You still get the scaly peepee

 

[Wallydraigle]

Originally posted by: shilala
Don't rollerskate in a buffalo herd.

Noice :thumbsup: Don't expect too many of the kiddies to get it.

 

[QuitBanningMe]

Originally posted by: Maetryx

Originally posted by: mobobuff
That love is simply an emotion designed by evolution to insure the reproduction of a species that does not procreate by instinct.

That "design" is an act by an intelligent being.

Nothing is not something or a situation with potential. Nothing is nothing.

That science does not support the notion that the universe came out of nothing without a Cause.

I think you might want to look into that a little more.

 

[JustAnAverageGuy]

You are entitled to your opinion, even if it is wrong.

Hard work may pay off in the future, but laziness always pays off now

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

 

[Pastore]

Never tell your girlfriend she deserved _insert something bad that happened to her_, even if she did.

 

[BurnItDwn]

All that soy-veggie-organic crap is not intended for human consumption. Heck, it's not even actually food.
You should instead consume food such as Beer, Beef, Pork, Chicken, Turkey, Lamb, or Fish. (as examples, though the human diet should not be limmited to exclusivly the previous animals, there are many other quality animals worth eating too !)

 

[Zanix]

Edit OP to include the tips.

 

[brigden]

Originally posted by: CitizenDoug

Originally posted by: brigden
Never EVER wear socks and sandals.

Wrong

HAHAHA. You do realize people who wear socks with sandals are saying to the world, "It's OK. You are allowed to openly ridicule me. I am a moron."

There reside in the same league as men who wear bad toupees.