Therapy for husband who likes Asian chicks?

Toggle sidebar Toggle sidebar
T

TommyVercetti

Diamond Member
Jan 4, 2003
7,623
1
0
I actually laughed when I read this. Dear Prudence is one of those question answer columns on Slate.com. I read it regularly. This was in the most recent edition

Dear Prudence,
My husband has a thing for Asian women (we are both Caucasian), and I don't know how to handle it. Whenever we are out in public or watching TV and he sees Asian girls/women, he can't take his eyes off them. It makes me uncomfortable and really throws a damper on any outing. From the time he spots one, he is distracted.

I had a good friend who is Chinese, but the friendship fizzled after I found out (from him) that he came on to her once when he'd been drinking. He developed a crush on a co-worker of his who is Japanese, but fortunately they no longer work together. I don't believe either of these women encouraged him in any way. I had never felt prejudice against Asians until I realized that my husband is fascinated by the women. Now his obsession has turned into my obsession.

My stomach is in knots every time we are in the presence of an attractive Asian woman. In my husband's rise up the corporate ladder, he may inherit a secretary who is Asian, and it has become one of my biggest fears. I really don't think I will be able to handle it. This isn't far-fetched because we live in an area with a higher-than-average Asian population.

I have talked to my husband very honestly about my feelings. He denies that he is obsessed, but denial is standard operating procedure where he is concerned. I know I can't change what type of women my husband is attracted to, but how can I learn to live with this?
?No Asian Vacations
Click to expand...


Dear No,

Well, now you are both obsessed with Asian women. Their attraction for American men is nothing new; they can be exotic-looking, along with having the cultural stereotype of a docile, man-pleasing submissiveness. This, of course, is not necessarily the reality.

As for the electricity these women hold for your husband, there is nothing you can do except put in some time with a therapist?and maybe take your husband with you?to talk about your fears and try to come away with a way to manage them. No offense, but one wonders why your mate did not marry one of these women in the first place.

Your response to the situation may be extreme, but it is evident that you did not manufacture this problem out of thin air. And you must resolve this insecurity if you are to have any peace of mind.

Get thee to a shrink.
 
U

ugh

Platinum Member
Feb 6, 2000
2,563
0
0
OMG.... Imagine a business trip to Asia. Wonder what kinda business he'll be doing then!
 
N

nativesunshine

Diamond Member
Jan 6, 2003
3,284
0
0
What sucks is when the caucasian guy can't distinguish between a good looking Asian and an Asian who looks like a dog.


But nothing's as bad as a guy who can't take his eyes off ANY girl. He only has eyes for other girls...and none for the one he's already with.
rolleye.gif
 
W

Whisper

Diamond Member
Feb 25, 2000
5,394
2
81
Heh...a friend of mine (asian girl) sent this my way earlier today. She thought I'd get a kick out of it :)
 
C

Crappopotamus

Golden Member
Oct 1, 2002
1,920
0
0
Originally posted by: nativesunshine
What sucks is when the caucasian guy can't distinguish between a good looking Asian and an Asian who looks like a dog.

But nothing's as bad as a guy who can't take his eyes off ANY girl. He only has eyes for other girls...and none for the one he's already with.
rolleye.gif
Click to expand...

lucy liu anyone?

the only solution is to let him satisfy those urges. course you have to.. uhh keep an eye on him right... :p
 
T

TommyVercetti

Diamond Member
Jan 4, 2003
7,623
1
0
Originally posted by: nativesunshine
What sucks is when the caucasian guy can't distinguish between a good looking Asian and an Asian who looks like a dog. But nothing's as bad as a guy who can't take his eyes off ANY girl. He only has eyes for other girls...and none for the one he's already with.
rolleye.gif
Click to expand...

I know this one guy who is really really picky about women. But when it comes to Asian women, there are no requirements. Anything will do.

I like Asian girls too, but the good looking, well dressed Americanized ones.
 
I

Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
7,749
2
0
LOL!

Actually, my husband was the same way. He always thought he would marry an Asian woman... even took Japanese for two years in college in preparation. He even planned to move to Japan after college. Took bad he got stuck with me. I think my cleavage distracted him from his goals. :p

Anyway, I think the fact that we are friends with a lot of Asian people has cured him. I think he has learned that it is one thing to have an idealized fantasy of what different women are like, but quite another to deal with the reality. :D
 
F

FuZoR

Diamond Member
Sep 22, 2001
4,422
1
0
im the opposite , i like white girls :)

should i go for therapy ;-) hahaha.

 
Sealy

Sealy

Platinum Member
Aug 4, 2002
2,438
1
71
I think the bigger issue the wife needs to worry about is that he's checking out and hitting on other women while he's married! I think she's missing the point! Who cares if the women are Asian, he's behaving unacceptable, period. That's what he should be in therapy for.
 
B

bleeb

Lifer
Feb 3, 2000
10,868
0
0
HEY! I thought Native Sunshine wasn't going to post messages anymore... what's going on? Can't stay away huh?;)
 
U

ugh

Platinum Member
Feb 6, 2000
2,563
0
0
Originally posted by: Isla
LOL!

Actually, my husband was the same way. He always thought he would marry an Asian woman... even took Japanese for two years in college in preparation. He even planned to move to Japan after college. Took bad he got stuck with me. I think my cleavage distracted him from his goals. :p

Anyway, I think the fact that we are friends with a lot of Asian people has cured him. I think he has learned that it is one thing to have an idealized fantasy of what different women are like, but quite another to deal with the reality. :D
Click to expand...

If you husband learned Mandarin or Cantonese, he'll have a lot more chances in places like Hong Kong or China or some other parts of Asia. From what I gather Asians == Japanese in these forums :)

Neway, glad that your hubby is cured :p
 
I

isaacmacdonald

Platinum Member
Jun 7, 2002
2,820
0
0
yeah, the real cure is to go to an authentic chinese dining place. I have a bit of an asian fetish myself, but I'll tell you, seing my gf's foreign friend (hot chinese chick for shanghai) gobble up fish heads, the exotic aspect of the fantasy quickly dissipated.
 
L

LongCoolMother

Diamond Member
Sep 4, 2001
5,675
0
0
Originally posted by: Sealy
I think the bigger issue the wife needs to worry about is that he's checking out and hitting on other women while he's married! I think she's missing the point! Who cares if the women are Asian, he's behaving unacceptable, period. That's what he should be in therapy for.
Click to expand...

thats true. its not the asians' problem. its his own problem for checking out other people!
 
Joemonkey

Joemonkey

Diamond Member
Mar 3, 2001
8,859
4
0
i don't get the whole asian attraction... sure they look good, but i'll take american or latina first!
 
UNCjigga

UNCjigga

Lifer
Dec 12, 2000
25,258
9,736
136
Originally posted by: ugh
OMG.... Imagine a business trip to Asia. Wonder what kinda business he'll be doing then!
Click to expand...
He went to Bangkok and said, "Phuket!"

 
H

Howard

Lifer
Oct 14, 1999
47,982
10
81
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Why doesn't he divorce her and marry an Asian?
Click to expand...

What's the point of a marriage if you're not going to follow through with the promise of being married?
rolleye.gif
Click to expand...
Ask that to the millions out there.
 
M

MithShrike

Diamond Member
May 5, 2002
3,440
0
0
Mmmm Asian women.... Mmmm. Anyways, I like me some Asian women too grew up in some elementary schools that had large Asian populations. Hell, I had me a nice little Chinese girlfriend in elementary school. Too bad she moved to a boarding school for HS. Anyways, only Asian I can find around here that's attractive is my sister's Chinese friend... too bad she doesn't speak English too well. I guess I'll just have to learn Mandarin Chinese and Cantonese just in case.

 
A

Aceshigh

Platinum Member
Aug 22, 2002
2,529
1
0
I'm a white guy who dates nothing but asian women. It's been 6 years and 3 girlfriends since I've gone out with a caucasian girl.

It's not something I set out to do, just the type of women I'm attracted to.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

COMPANY
RESOURCES
FOLLOW
Top Bottom