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The way my parents think through some things really makes me sad.

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Originally posted by: BoomerD
Everyone is missing the obvious thing...Dude, you're allergic to your parents!! 😉
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Wahhhh!!!!

😛

Your interview got me an A on the paper, BTW. Thanks!!!
 
If you're allergic to dust mites, get pillow and mattress covers (they're not very expensive) and wash sheets and blankets in HOT water before sleeping at their house the first night. Get some Febreeze allergen control spray and spray the hell out of all fabric/rug surfaces (upholstered furniture, carpet, curtains, etc). Buy them a really good HEPA vacuum for a gift and use it when you get to their house.

You should consider whether your parents would allow a maid to come in and sanitize things once a month or so (or at least before you come over...tell them it's a gift from you to them.)
 
MOLD. There are probably other allergens in that condo that could be the cause of your symptoms. I'd want to find out asap as it could be something really bad such as mold which could be in your walls.
 
Originally posted by: Philippine Mango
MOLD. There are probably other allergens in that condo that could be the cause of your symptoms. I'd want to find out asap as it could be something really bad such as mold which could be in your walls.
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Any idea how I can find if there is mold growing in our house? There's obviously visual inspection but there might not be enough.
 
You are not going to get them to clean it up, face the facts there. Once you get a good job, stay in a hotel when you come back to visit. Tell them something in the house is making you sick, you just can't sleep there anymore.
If they don't get the hint or do something about it, at least you get a good night's rest.
 
Didn't you post about how your parent hate your photography, about how it's impossible to have a conversation with them, etc? If I was you I would just tell them you can't handle it anymore and leave them alone for a few years, thereby avoiding the heath problems too. Even if you did find mold in the walls and remove it for them, and that cured your problems, it sounds like they would probably still stick with their old ideas.
 
Originally posted by: screw3d
You could probably offer to help clean up the place somehow?
Click to expand...

Believe me, I *have* cleaned up the place before. It is trashed the next time I visit. It's really kinda rediculous how they do it. They just NEVER put things back where they below. When I ask why, they say "because we never have time or forget."

Things that I did:

1. Cleaned the whole entire house

2. Scrubbed and washed bathrooms. They normally pile dirty clothes into a corner of the little 8x5 bathrooms, and lots of miscellaneous stuff around the sinks like newspapers, toothbrushes, pens, drinking cups, whatever. I took out what did not belong in the bathrooms, bought door-hanging clothes hampers for each bathroom, put things into the bathroom cabinets, took out and recycled the piles of newspapers and magazines, etc. Bathrooms were spotless, and actually felt spacious when clean.

3. Cleaned the kitchen. OMG disgusting. I scrubbed out the inside of the refrigerator, threw out lots of expired foods, showed my mom how to use the dishwasher (we've owned it for 10 years, parents never used it once because they don't think it would clean dishes well and don't like the time it takes to clean.) As a result there are always piles of dishes and leftover food just soaking in sink water for days on end. Add to the fact that we have a LOT of dinnerware, so my parents never feel a need to clean because there are always fresh dishes. So I got rid of a lot of dishes, hoping that'd force them to regularly clean dishes. Also cleaned out and organized the cabinets and drawers and wiped down the sticky countertops. Afterwards it looked great. A spacious kitchen that I wish *I* had in my apartment.

4. Cleaned the living room. Got rid of the piles and piles of books, magazines, newspapers, mail, junk mail, and miscellaneous stuff just strewn across the carpet, on the desk, on the dinner table, on the couch, in the entertainment center, etc. Before, every inch of every desk and table was just covered in junk. Afterwards the room is nice and clean and open and it felt so good.

5. Bedrooms. Computer desk was littered with junk like the living room tables. Cleaned those. Got rid of stuff on the floors.

6. Sent stuff that we never use to the salvation army or recycling centers. Bought recycling bins for parents because the recyling center is a 1 minute drive from their condo. Showed them how to use an under-the-sink trash can for their kitchen garbage. Before they just had a big trash can out in the open, which stunk.


Now, EVERYTHING is back to "normal." Junk strewn on the floor and covering the tables, including the computer and the dinner tables. Recycling bins turned into trash bins. Dishes festering in the sink, with clean handwashed dishes put into the dishwasher as a storage place instead of the cabinets. There's no empty counter space in the kitchen even for cutting food on a cutting board. They have to balance the cutting board on the metal wall that seperates the two sink wells. Bedrooms are a mess. Bathrooms are gross and there are again piles of dirty clothes on the floor with empty hampers hanging three feet away. There is no empty countertop space around the sinks. I don't even want to take a shower in the bathrooms because they are so dirty 🙁
 
Originally posted by: Atheus
Didn't you post about how your parent hate your photography, about how it's impossible to have a conversation with them, etc? If I was you I would just tell them you can't handle it anymore and leave them alone for a few years, thereby avoiding the heath problems too. Even if you did find mold in the walls and remove it for them, and that cured your problems, it sounds like they would probably still stick with their old ideas.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that was me 🙁

They guilt trip me into coming back each time. Plus they're getting old and I know they won't be around for much longer. But dangit, I still hate coming back home to the same old aggravating stuff. And yeah, they never learn or adjust their old ideas.
 
Originally posted by: fuzzybabybunny
Originally posted by: screw3d
You could probably offer to help clean up the place somehow?
Click to expand...

Believe me, I *have* cleaned up the place before. It is trashed the next time I visit. It's really kinda rediculous how they do it. They just NEVER put things back where they below. When I ask why, they say "because we never have time or forget."

Things that I did:

1. Cleaned the whole entire house

2. Scrubbed and washed bathrooms. They normally pile dirty clothes into a corner of the little 8x5 bathrooms, and lots of miscellaneous stuff around the sinks like newspapers, toothbrushes, pens, drinking cups, whatever. I took out what did not belong in the bathrooms, bought door-hanging clothes hampers for each bathroom, put things into the bathroom cabinets, took out and recycled the piles of newspapers and magazines, etc. Bathrooms were spotless, and actually felt spacious when clean.

3. Cleaned the kitchen. OMG disgusting. I scrubbed out the inside of the refrigerator, threw out lots of expired foods, showed my mom how to use the dishwasher (we've owned it for 10 years, parents never used it once because they don't think it would clean dishes well and don't like the time it takes to clean.) As a result there are always piles of dishes and leftover food just soaking in sink water for days on end. Add to the fact that we have a LOT of dinnerware, so my parents never feel a need to clean because there are always fresh dishes. So I got rid of a lot of dishes, hoping that'd force them to regularly clean dishes. Also cleaned out and organized the cabinets and drawers and wiped down the sticky countertops. Afterwards it looked great. A spacious kitchen that I wish *I* had in my apartment.

4. Cleaned the living room. Got rid of the piles and piles of books, magazines, newspapers, mail, junk mail, and miscellaneous stuff just strewn across the carpet, on the desk, on the dinner table, on the couch, in the entertainment center, etc. Before, every inch of every desk and table was just covered in junk. Afterwards the room is nice and clean and open and it felt so good.

5. Bedrooms. Computer desk was littered with junk like the living room tables. Cleaned those. Got rid of stuff on the floors.

6. Sent stuff that we never use to the salvation army or recycling centers. Bought recycling bins for parents because the recyling center is a 1 minute drive from their condo. Showed them how to use an under-the-sink trash can for their kitchen garbage. Before they just had a big trash can out in the open, which stunk.


Now, EVERYTHING is back to "normal." Junk strewn on the floor and covering the tables, including the computer and the dinner tables. Recycling bins turned into trash bins. Dishes festering in the sink, with clean handwashed dishes put into the dishwasher as a storage place instead of the cabinets. There's no empty counter space in the kitchen even for cutting food on a cutting board. They have to balance the cutting board on the metal wall that seperates the two sink wells. Bedrooms are a mess. Bathrooms are gross and there are again piles of dirty clothes on the floor with empty hampers hanging three feet away. There is no empty countertop space around the sinks. I don't even want to take a shower in the bathrooms because they are so dirty 🙁
Click to expand...


Sounds like a tortured soul..

Who do you think is more important? The fact that you're there and that somehow makes your parents happy? Or your sanity? Perhaps your parents ask you to come over because they know how it bothers you to see a messy place and they take pleasure in that? (worst case scenario)
 
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