- Jul 15, 2003
- 80,287
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- 136
is that it's difficult to discern whether or not they are genuine. - Abraham Lincoln
--
An old guy, not in the best of shape, was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing. He asked the trainer that was nearby "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said "I would try the ATM in the lobby..."
--
Thor, The God Of Thunder, woke one morning and opened a bleary eye after a three day orgy of bacchanalian debauchery. He noticed a beautiful slave girl standing at the door of his room. Squinting at her painfully he said "I'm Thor." "YOU'RE thore...?" she says "I'm tho thore I can hardly pith!!!"
--
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse. I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
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I was sexy dancing in front of a bird I was trying to pull in a club, I could see she was giving me the eye as I bust out some of my best moves. Eventually she came over, she whispered "Thanks to you my knickers are dripping wet. "I said "Oh really..." As I threw in a few more moves. She said "Yeah, me and my mates have just been pissing ourselves watching you dance!"
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The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They've imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and are going to drill for their own oil.
--
An old guy, not in the best of shape, was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing. He asked the trainer that was nearby "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said "I would try the ATM in the lobby..."
--
Thor, The God Of Thunder, woke one morning and opened a bleary eye after a three day orgy of bacchanalian debauchery. He noticed a beautiful slave girl standing at the door of his room. Squinting at her painfully he said "I'm Thor." "YOU'RE thore...?" she says "I'm tho thore I can hardly pith!!!"
--
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse. I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
--
I was sexy dancing in front of a bird I was trying to pull in a club, I could see she was giving me the eye as I bust out some of my best moves. Eventually she came over, she whispered "Thanks to you my knickers are dripping wet. "I said "Oh really..." As I threw in a few more moves. She said "Yeah, me and my mates have just been pissing ourselves watching you dance!"
--
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They've imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and are going to drill for their own oil.