"The thing isn't working!"

[SketchMaster]

"The thing isn't working!"

"I'm sorry to hear that. Let me take a look. Hmm... it looks OK on my end. Could you please go through this short list of settings to make sure everything on your system is configured correctly?"

"WHAT!? THE THING ISN'T WORKING! FIX IT!"

"Did you do what I asked?"

"No, but that doesn't have anything to do with the thing not working! You need to fix the thing!"

 

[IronWing]

Did you fix it? It wasn't working.

 

[clamum]

LOL. I like that second picture.

I've had similar situations. Users reporting errors with some piece of software or website I've worked on, and they basically said "I got an error. What's wrong/can you fix it?" Um... gonna need to know a BIT more than that to do anything. After trading several emails I usually got a few details to determine where to start.

 

[feralkid]

Jiggle the cord.

 

[Imp]

Not working is nothing... excuse to slack.

Running virus scan while I'm working for 5 hours... that just pisses me off.

 

[Rubycon]

http://xkcd.com/

 

[TwiceOver]

"That light is on"


"An error popped up"
-"What was the error?"
:shrug:

 

[Murloc]

it's a lost battle....

 

[Exterous]

OP you upgraded the webserver last week and now my mouse isn't working. These are clearly related so please reboot the webserver

 

[Jeff7]

Did they do the needful yet?




"Your product doesn't work anymore, I might need a replacement."

- "Did anything change recently? Was there a storm, or work done?"

"No, nothing unusual."

- "Open up the software. Are there any errors?"

"No COM ports available."

- "Is the adapter plugged in?"

"Yes, but it's not in the same place it was before. The computer got replaced two days ago, then the attached device stopped working."

- "Ah, so something did change. Did the drivers for the adapter get installed and checked?"

"Drivers? Probably not. I'd need IT for that, and they're busy. I tried following the instructions, but it said I needed administrative access. Can you tell me how to make it work without those drivers?"



Urge to kill: Rising.

 

[SketchMaster]

Did they do the needful yet?

HA! At my old job I heard that phase so much I make a background, last I heard the image was still being used by people.

I'll have to dig it up when i get home and post it for all to enjoy.

 

[SketchMaster]

OP you upgraded the webserver last week and now my mouse isn't working. These are clearly related so please reboot the webserver

You are so on the nose it's kinda scary...

 

[Red Squirrel]

An email, sent from a user at 4:27pm on a Friday:

Subject: cant prnt
Body: Hi. Report needed printed by 5:00 is not printing. plz fix. Important !!! thx

You find out the user left the office as soon as they sent it in, and is going to be on vacation for 2 weeks. Time to get the crystal ball out...

So glad I'm not in IT any more.

 

[AznAnarchy99]

"My computer isn't turning on"
"Is the power plugged in?"
*Holding the power cord up for video phone* "Oh".

 

[smackababy]

My favorite is getting a call at like 3AM. "User is having issues and we can't figure it out at the help desk; we've assigned you the ticket, please take a look." Wake up, log in, go to ticket, try and contact user via email, no response so call user, "Oh, it is working now. Don't worry about it."

 

[AreaCode707]

"I tried to test my configuration and got an error."
"Ok, where does the error show up?
"In the application."
"What does the error say?"
"It says error."
"Is there any more information in the error?"
"It worked before."
"Did you change anything?"
"No. It was working and it stopped."
"Did you change the XML?"
"No. I uploaded a new copy."
"Can you compare the old copy and the new copy and tell me what you changed?"
"Nothing. There's an error."
"Can you reproduce the error and read it to me?"
"Ummmm... wait a minute. It says, 'You do not have permissions to create a requisition with this template. Please contact your administrator to grant you permissions to create requisitions with this template.'"
"Ok, dd you change the template name in the XML?"
"Ummmmmm... yes."
"Did you give yourself permissions to create requisitions with the new template?"
"No. Do I have to?"

...

And these folks make $90-300 an hour.

 

[SketchMaster]

And these folks make $90-300 an hour.

They leverage the cloud to process big data, bringing synergy to your company and disrupting the market as we know it!

Just give them sudo access and watch your ESOP go up!

 

[zCypher]

"I tried to test my configuration and got an error."
"Ok, where does the error show up?
"In the application."
"What does the error say?"
"It says error."
"Is there any more information in the error?"
"It worked before."
"Did you change anything?"
"No. It was working and it stopped."
"Did you change the XML?"
"No. I uploaded a new copy."
"Can you compare the old copy and the new copy and tell me what you changed?"
"Nothing. There's an error."
"Can you reproduce the error and read it to me?"
"Ummmm... wait a minute. It says, 'You do not have permissions to create a requisition with this template. Please contact your administrator to grant you permissions to create requisitions with this template.'"
"Ok, dd you change the template name in the XML?"
"Ummmmmm... yes."
"Did you give yourself permissions to create requisitions with the new template?"
"No. Do I have to?"

...

And these folks make $90-300 an hour.

Mother of god.

 

[mikeford]

Without these users you would not have a job.

 

[IronWing]

Did you fix it yet?

 

[eldorado99]

Without these users you would not have a job.

Does that justify the users' ineptness somehow?

 

[Jeff7]

Without these users you would not have a job.

And without people committing crimes, police wouldn't have jobs. But the criminals are still a drain on society.

 

[mikeford]

And without people committing crimes, police wouldn't have jobs. But the criminals are still a drain on society.

Want to bet? Once finally end the war on drugs and crime drastically drops, I doubt we will see any reduction in police, they will just do more "stuff".

 

[ViperXX]

Without these users you would not have a job.

Yep, stupid mother fuckers give us IT folk a job.

 

[ViRGE]

Have you tried turning it off and on again?