The Thermodynamics of Hell essay.

[Emos]

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, 'That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you', and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then 2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."

This student got the only A!

 

[warcleric]

ROFLMFAO this is great, dont know if it is true, but it is great.

 

[Harv22222]

Its amazing what you can do with a creative mind. Take up a lot of space when you are off on some other tangent. On an essay last year in my Econ class, I got an 48/50. I didn't even mention anything about the topic at hand. I'd post what i put but i couldn't find the paper. He wrote after the essay that I was very creative and I never got off the topic I was TALKING about, not the topic at hand. He was impressed a person could write a 2 page paper on some non-sense.

 

[MajesticMoose]

that's great, but i found one problem. His answer was based on there not having been a cold NIGHT in hell. From what i understand, hell would be at the center of the earth, where there is no sun. Therefore there could be no night or day.

That reminds me of a story i heard (i think its true). A proffessor gave his students a final exam with a one word question, "why?". The only person to get an A responded "why not", while all of the others went on to write multi page essays.

Man i hope i don't get tests like that ever.

m00se

 

[palad]

moose

I heard a similar story where the only A was given to the student who wrote 'Because.' I guess it depends on which branch of philosophy you're talking about.

 

[Nerd]

I read that essay somewhere before...

 

[Dougster]

The First Law of Thermodynamics:-
Heat is work and work is heat.
Heat is work and work is heat
Very good! The Second Law of Thermodynamics:-
Heat cannot of itself pass from one body to a hotter body,
Heat cannot of itself pass from one body to a hotter body
Heat won't pass from a cooler to a hotter,
Heat won't pass from a cooler to a hotter
You can try it if you like but you'd far better notta,
You can try it if you like but you'd far better notta
'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a,
'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a
'Cos the hotter body's heat will pass to the cooler,
'Cos the hotter body's heat will pass to the cooler

Good, First Law!

Heat is work and work is heat
And work is heat and heat is work
Heat will pass by?conduction,
Heat will pass by?conduction

And heat will pass by?convection,
Heat will pass by convection

And heat will pass by?radiation,
Heat will pass by?radiation
And that's a physical law!

Heat is work and work's a curse,
And all the heat in the Universe,
Is gonna cooooool down 'cos it can't increase,
Then there'll be no more work and there'll be perfect peace
Really?
Yeah, that's entropy, man!

And its all because of the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which
lays down that?

You can't pass heat from a cooler to a hotter,
Try it if you like but you far better notta,
'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a,
'Cos the hotter body's heat will pass to the cooler.
Oh you can't pass heat, cooler to a hotter,
Try it if you like but you'll only look a fool-a
'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a
And that's a physical law!

Oh, I'm hot!
Hot? That's because you've been working!

That's the First and Second Law of Thermodynamics!

(Something tells me that most people on this board wont know of Flanders and Swann!)

 

[pamchenko]

that is very funny....bump for science ppl!

 

[A5]

I heard that this one Prof. gave a test, and the only question was, "What is courage?" and a student wrote "This is.", turned in the paper, and got an A.

 

[yakko]

I hate that essay.

 

[yakko]

Damn twitch.:|