# The Thermodynamics of Hell (A stolen Brutuskend STORY / JOKE)

#### Brutuskend

##### Lifer
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time, so we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and
the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This yields two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will continue
to increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If the volume of Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of the volume of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Bayman during my Freshman year, that "... it will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above
cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A.

#### Mallow

##### Diamond Member
yep, welcome to 1991

#### thraxes

##### Golden Member
But it's a classic and always fun to read

#### flxnimprtmscl

##### Diamond Member
lol, that's classic. First time I've seen it

#### webnewland

##### Golden Member
our teacher gave us that example last year in our 2nd year chem class, great stuff

#### Heisenberg

##### Lifer
Heh, this is like the second joke you get told in beginning physics classes.

Super Moderator

Hmm... 7/10

#### DaveSimmons

##### Elite Member
I'm surprised Piers Anthony didn't work this one into his Incarnations series -- new to me so (4/5)

#### EvilYoda

##### Lifer
man, I wonder how far up the rankings this is on "most repeated stories EVAR"

It's funny, the first time around, for nerds.

#### ThePresence

##### Elite Member
Whoever wrote this for President!

(No, not you Brutuskend )

8/10 classic

Gotta love it

#### glugglug

##### Diamond Member

Is Heaven hotter than Hell?

The temperatures of Heaven and of Hell are not given specifically in the Bible. That may be because the various temperature scales (Fahrenheit, Celsius, Rankin and Kelvin) were not created by the 1st century CE. However, there is sufficient data available to calculate the temperature of Heaven. The maximum temperature of Hell can also be determined.