The Swiss Army knife to rule them all!

[John Connor]

• 87 implements
• 141 functions
• Perfect for the collector
• Featured by major media outlets

http://www.amazon.com/Wenger-16999-S...s=Wenger+16999

 

[RelaxTheMind]

the amazon reviews and questions are pretty funny. but not as funny as the sugar free gummy bear ones.

 

[Sonikku]

But does it have a pizza cutter?

 

[Exterous]

But does it have a pizza cutter?

Pretty sure you could build a pre-sliced pizza with it

 

[phucheneh]

The first three reviews are quite excellent. After that the one-liners get increasingly less funny.

I tried to file my nails, but in the process I accidentally fixed a small engine that was near by. Which was nice

Found this stuck into a stone while on vacation. I'm impressed with it, generally. Unfortunately, it turns out that removing it made me the new king of Switzerland, which is a lot of responsibility.

I forgot the knife in the front pocket of my Swiss Army shorts and when my wife washed them it completely disassembled our washing machine.

 

[PenguinPower]

The first three reviews are quite excellent. After that the one-liners get increasingly less funny.

Some of the questions/answers are good too:

Can it core a apple? Oct 7, 2013


It cannot core an Apple due to the proprietary nature of the screws. Although it can quad core a Dell

Where is the Flugelhorn? Dec 3, 2013


Right in between the warp drive and the creme brulee torch.

can we see a photo of this knife in the closed position? May 27, 2014

No. Unfortunately, closing the knife brings too much mass into one location causing the formation of a small black hole. This is not covered by the warranty.

 

[Mayne]

will it fit in my pocket?

 

[smackababy]

Am I the only person that actually hates reviews that are not in the spirit of what a review is supposed to be? I don't give a shit you think you're clever. Go be clever on someone else's time. I want to know if the knife is well built, dulls after the first use, or the toothpick falls out with but a light shake.

The reviews aren't funny, and degrade the entire system of peer review. Amazon should only display (or give the option for crotchety folks, such as myself) to only view verified purchaser's reviews. Same with Newegg, Yelp, etc.

 

[Schmide]

Fail. No gun.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2442634/The-mother-Swiss-Army-Knives-19th-Century-boasted-100-tools--including-REVOLVER.html

 

[slag]

Am I the only person that actually hates reviews that are not in the spirit of what a review is supposed to be? I don't give a shit you think you're clever. Go be clever on someone else's time. I want to know if the knife is well built, dulls after the first use, or the toothpick falls out with but a light shake.

The reviews aren't funny, and degrade the entire system of peer review. Amazon should only display (or give the option for crotchety folks, such as myself) to only view verified purchaser's reviews. Same with Newegg, Yelp, etc.

Yes

You're the only one.

 

[smackababy]

Yes

You're the only one.

=( I was hoping there was at least two of us out there.

 

[highland145]

=( I was hoping there was at least two of us out there.

Nope. Not when this thing is useless except as a door stop.

 

[clamum]

That thing is bogus as fuck.

 

[highland145]

That thing is bogus as fuck.

You no likie fuck?

 

[lxskllr]

That thing is bogus as fuck.

Yah, its only use is a store display for a shop that sells Swiss Army knives. It's a good visual gag that shows what tools are available in the various knives. I like Swiss Army knives a lot, and have carried one for over 30 years, but I don't like them enough to buy a $1.4k "collectors item". Besides, Victorinox knives are better.

 

[smackababy]

Nope. Not when this thing is useless except as a door stop.

Then, shouldn't that be what the reviews consist of? "Unwieldy, and despite including a cast array of tool options, too awkward to be of any real use." Done. I don't need a bunch of internet comedians trying to be funny. And, it isn't just about this product either. If a restaurant owner speaks out about intolerance, I don't need to read a bunch of reviews about "went there and enjoyed tons of gay sex!" and the likes. If, due to your sexual orientation, you were received bad service, or were completed refused service, that is fine. But, because you don't agree with their beliefs, I don't need a bunch of stupid parody shit.

 

[Miramonti]

No stethoscope? wtf.

 

[highland145]

Typically, yes, but that things begs for parody shit.

 

[lxskllr]

Typically, yes, but that things begs for parody shit.

I'll take a good parody, even for a useful item over the typical trash review. 75% of people don't know how to make a useful review of anything, and some, you wonder if they're ever seen the product, or would know what to do with it if they had.

 

[highland145]

^^
Truth.