The Superficial is a cool website

[XMan]

The Superficial

An entertainment blog.

Some choice tidbits:

"We could go back and forth all day about whether I have or have not had sex with a couch, but the point here is that I find it impossible to believe that sex with Angelina Jolie is anything less than earth shattering. It got Brad Pitt to dump his wife and leave his Malibu mansion to camp out in Ethiopian villages with more types of pestilence than toilet paper, so I gotta imagine she?s at least down for a frosty."

"She?s like one of those programmable pleasure robots that were supposed to have shown up by now based on movies I saw when I was a kid. So if anyone sees Katie walking around, try whacking her on the side a few times, maybe she?ll snap out of this insanity before its too late, cause keep in mind, Tom Cruise gets this excited about everything. He?s like a ferret on speed. "

"I can?t honestly say I?ve ever had my penis in a bear trap, but the idea is a hell of a lot more appealing that my penis in a troll like Kirsten. At least I could put some lipstick on the bear trap and kinda make it look like a human girl. Good luck doing that with Kirsten Dunst. Seriously, If I had to choose between sex with Kirsten Dunst or sex with a dead Filipino boy, I would at least find out what the kid died of."

 

[0roo0roo]

yea the writing is funny

 

[jds2006]

Hehe I love that site.

 

[chuckywang]

that's pretty funny...very Maddox-like.

 

[chuckywang]

LOL!

And apparently Ben Affleck doesn't just show his testicles to women either, since he would actually rest his scrotum on the back of Kevin Smith's neck during breaks on the set of Jersey Girl. I used to think Ben Affleck was an untalented idiot, but anybody who goes around teabagging their directors and showing off their testicles to coworkers is okay with me. Although I must admit, the thought of Ben Affleck's scrotum touching my neck scares me more than vampires do. And vampires are pretty damn scary.

 

[0roo0roo]

Charlie Sheens not getting any closer to patching things up with wife Denise Richards. Reports have her banning him from their Malibu home and even from the delivery room when their second child arrives, probably in June. According to the New York Daily News, the reason for the spilt is that Sheen recently attended a party where the entrée was whores. Not to be confused with my parties, where the entrée is danger.

Based solely on history, conjecture and the expression of my dog while she eats my shoe, I?m gonna blame Charlie for all of this. Denise Richards has always seemed kinda perfect in a Madonna-whore complex kinda way, in that 'pretty girl with low self esteem' kinda way, like she would do anything - anything - for the guy she?s with. Girls like that will put up with a lot and Sheen still managed to F it up. Girls like that write magazines with questions like, ?my boyfriend likes to set me on fire, should I break up with him or just get some fireproof clothes.? It?s not easy to drive off a girl like that. You have to wake up first thing in the morning and brainstorm about ways to push her away. And that?s kinda what I picture. Charlies dumb ass, his clumsy brow furrowed like a caveman smacking a rock with a stick. Cause, keep in mind, it?s Denise Richards. http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/000772.html