the socially inept are better life partners

[rh71]

They were discussing this on the radio this morning (therefore I have no statistical reference) and they said the cool/hip guys make terrible partners because they've spent their life conforming to what's perceived to be the best, the accepted. The more awkward guys will be better fathers and lovers because they are more genuine and do not care for much but what's best in circumstances.

They had people calling in including chicks who've married the guys who turned out to be duds in life. One girl said she divorced one only to marry another and declared herself 'stuck' because she's discovered she can't change him. She's working up the courage to get a 2nd divorce.

What say you?

 

[legoman666]

there's hope for me yet!

 

[clamum]

Praise Jebus!

 

[nakedfrog]

We all watched Revenge of the Nerds, didn't we?

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Yes "the nice guy" has always been the better provider.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Yes "the nice guy" has always been the better provider.

and always gotten sloppy seconds

 

[Jeff7]

This what I keep trying to tell women when catch see me spying on them through a telescope, or sifting through their garbage, or listening in on their phone calls, or carving their names into my forehead, but they just don't believe me. Oh well.

One girl said she divorced one only to marry another and declared herself 'stuck' because she's discovered she can't change him.

I love that. "Oh, once I marry him, he'll change." Or else, "I'll change him once we're married."
If marriage was all it took to make a man a perfect person, we'd have almost no incidences of domestic violence, and crime would probably drop 90%. Just get men to marry, and bam, they're changed.

It would seem to me that reality doesn't quite work that way.

 

[paulxcook]

I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Yes "the nice guy" has always been the better provider.

and always gotten sloppy seconds

Yup.

 

[Kelemvor]

It's far more complex than that but can generally be true if people are total conformists just because they want people to like them...

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: paulxcook
I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

Lots.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: paulxcook
I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

On the same token, it should not be too far fetched to change for the sake of a domestic partnership. You know, the whole compromise thing.

The biggest problem is that 1) it's fully expected and 2) not everyone is willing to do it.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: paulxcook
I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

On the same token, it should not be too far fetched to change for the sake of a domestic partnership. You know, the whole compromise thing.

The biggest problem is that 1) it's fully expected and 2) not everyone is willing to do it.

Compromise isn't really the same as change.

 

[KeithTalent]

Woot, we pwned those hipsters! All their hotties are belong to us!

KT

 

[paulxcook]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: paulxcook
I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

On the same token, it should not be too far fetched to change for the sake of a domestic partnership. You know, the whole compromise thing.

The biggest problem is that 1) it's fully expected and 2) not everyone is willing to do it.

Compromise isn't really the same as change.

Agreed. I consider the two different things.

Change: expecting the guy you date to stop watching football entirely in favor of going shopping. Guy currently has the NFL package and watches 3 games a Sunday, plus MNF, plus rewatches the home team game later in the week, plus sports commentary shows.

Compromise: asking the guy you're now married to to limit football to one game on Sunday and one game on Monday, with limited sports commentary shows while you're in the room.

 

[lyssword]

http://www.livescience.com/hea...12-dating-success.html you mean this article?

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Yes "the nice guy" has always been the better provider.

and always gotten sloppy seconds

and then kicked in the nutz

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Yes "the nice guy" has always been the better provider.

and always gotten sloppy seconds

not only that but a startling number of nice guys out there are raising children that are not theirs!

"After recently reviewing 67 studies on the subject, University of Oklahoma researchers found that PD rates tend to be much higher among men who have reason to believe there's been more than one dog in the yard. No surprise there. But leave out these men and you end up with a number that can safely be assumed to represent the rest of us. That number is 3.85 percent. Another review of 19 studies by a group at Liverpool John Moores University backs this up, putting the figure at 3.7 percent of dads. It may not seem like a lot--until you do the math. According to a 2005 U.S. Census Bureau report, there are 27,940,000 fathers nationwide with a child under 18. That means over a million guys out there are taking care of some other man's kid."

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/...nVCM10000013281eac____

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: paulxcook

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: paulxcook
I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

On the same token, it should not be too far fetched to change for the sake of a domestic partnership. You know, the whole compromise thing.

The biggest problem is that 1) it's fully expected and 2) not everyone is willing to do it.

Compromise isn't really the same as change.

Agreed. I consider the two different things.

Change: expecting the guy you date to stop watching football entirely in favor of going shopping. Guy currently has the NFL package and watches 3 games a Sunday, plus MNF, plus rewatches the home team game later in the week, plus sports commentary shows.

Compromise: asking the guy you're now married to to limit football to one game on Sunday and one game on Monday, with limited sports commentary shows while you're in the room.

lol that compromise incited a change in his watching habits. compromise always incites change. so, compromise can always be equated with change, just not vice versa.

and sometimes women get the "change" they want in their husband and dont like it, wishing they were the man they married. been there, bought the tshirt. either way, women are never happy unless things are constantly changing. so, either way we are all doomed.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: rivan

Originally posted by: paulxcook
I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

Lots.

I think it's one reason that some women really want to get married. It's a mindset that once he's locked into a permanent relationship, then she will have the power to mold him into the person/companion/slave she really (thinks) she wants.

It's one of the problems of why marriages fail. People have this notion of a "perfect" partner. Guess what: no one is perfect. Marriage isn't going to be the "happily ever after" that Disney wants you to believe. There will be rough spots. And "perfect" is an imaginary construct that can't exist in the real world. It's like trying to solve for an asymptote. You might get close, but you'll never actually get there.
So, with this false notion of absolute perfection in mind, people will spend forever trying to create that which cannot exist. It brings to mind some saying about pigs, and I don't remember it exactly. "You can't teach a pig to [do some pigly-impossible task]. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig."

If you want complete control over someone, have a baby. To maintain this though, be sure to constantly instill the notion that free will doesn't exist. Once the kid gets that into his head that he can think on his own, he's a lost cause.

Originally posted by: lyssword
http://www.livescience.com/hea...12-dating-success.html you mean this article?

Why Perfect Dates Make Lousy Partners

A perfect date just means that the person is a good salesman. It's like a real estate agent. They'll show you how beautiful the house looks. It's only once you've bought the house that you discover that there are 15 corpses stashed away in the walls, which the agent conveniently neglected to tell you about.

 

[lyssword]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: rivan

Originally posted by: paulxcook
I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

Lots.

I think it's one reason that some women really want to get married. It's a mindset that once he's locked into a permanent relationship, then she will have the power to mold him into the person/companion/slave she really (thinks) she wants.

It's one of the problems of why marriages fail. People have this notion of a "perfect" partner. Guess what: no one is perfect. Marriage isn't going to be the "happily ever after" that Disney wants you to believe. There will be rough spots. And "perfect" is an imaginary construct that can't exist in the real world. It's like trying to solve for an asymptote. You might get close, but you'll never actually get there.
So, with this false notion of absolute perfection in mind, people will spend forever trying to create that which cannot exist. It brings to mind some saying about pigs, and I don't remember it exactly. "You can't teach a pig to [do some pigly-impossible task]. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig."

If you want complete control over someone, have a baby. To maintain this though, be sure to constantly instill the notion that free will doesn't exist. Once the kid gets that into his head that he can think on his own, he's a lost cause.

Originally posted by: lyssword
http://www.livescience.com/hea...12-dating-success.html you mean this article?

Why Perfect Dates Make Lousy Partners

A perfect date just means that the person is a good salesman. It's like a real estate agent. They'll show you how beautiful the house looks. It's only once you've bought the house that you discover that there are 15 corpses stashed away in the walls, which the agent conveniently neglected to tell you about.

Heh how about this: if people believe they have no free will they are more likely to cheat (on a test). Really interesting http://www.sciencedaily.com/re...08/01/080129125354.htm

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: lyssword
http://www.livescience.com/hea...12-dating-success.html you mean this article?

nice find.

 

[paulxcook]

Originally posted by: hanoverphist

Originally posted by: paulxcook

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: paulxcook
I wonder how many women really think they'll change their future-husband once they get married. This seems like an incredibly stupid assumption.

On the same token, it should not be too far fetched to change for the sake of a domestic partnership. You know, the whole compromise thing.

The biggest problem is that 1) it's fully expected and 2) not everyone is willing to do it.

Compromise isn't really the same as change.

Agreed. I consider the two different things.

Change: expecting the guy you date to stop watching football entirely in favor of going shopping. Guy currently has the NFL package and watches 3 games a Sunday, plus MNF, plus rewatches the home team game later in the week, plus sports commentary shows.

Compromise: asking the guy you're now married to to limit football to one game on Sunday and one game on Monday, with limited sports commentary shows while you're in the room.

lol that compromise incited a change in his watching habits. compromise always incites change. so, compromise can always be equated with change, just not vice versa.

and sometimes women get the "change" they want in their husband and dont like it, wishing they were the man they married. been there, bought the tshirt. either way, women are never happy unless things are constantly changing. so, either way we are all doomed.

Changing watching habits didn't change him into someone who doesn't like football. I see a clear distinction. I understand that you don't, but you also sound like you're carrying some extra baggage.

 

[sonambulo]

Originally posted by: rh71
They were discussing this on the radio this morning (therefore I have no statistical reference) and they said the cool/hip guys make terrible partners because they've spent their life conforming to what's perceived to be the best, the accepted. The more awkward guys will be better fathers and lovers because they are more genuine and do not care for much but what's best in circumstances.

They had people calling in including chicks who've married the guys who turned out to be duds in life. One girl said she divorced one only to marry another and declared herself 'stuck' because she's discovered she can't change him. She's working up the courage to get a 2nd divorce.

What say you?

It's funny, this is what all seduction literature is based around. The idea is that there are two main classes of male: 'predator' and 'sucker' and the majority of us would fall into the sucker category I guess. Suckers get a lifetime of sloppy seconds.

It's pretty common for girls to go out and have their fun (not necessarily being promiscuous) while they're young and fine as hell only to settle down and get married with a less than ideal mate later in life when they have to accept they won't be pretty forever.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

i believe it