The Purina Diet (A stolen Brutuskend JOKE / Story)

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
I have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd simply been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the black guy was going to wet his pants he was laughing so hard.
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
hahahhahahahah

ok ok. that was the best you have done for a while. heheh 10/10!
 

kt

Diamond Member
Apr 1, 2000
6,032
1,348
136
Read this one before in one of my daily forwarded emails except the it was a tall white guy that was laughing his ass off.
 

jadinolf

Lifer
Oct 12, 1999
20,952
3
81
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
I have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd simply been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the black guy was going to wet his pants he was laughing so hard.

Been to Young and Dangerous?;)