News The Onion has bought InfoWars

[mikeymikec]

The Onion buys Alex Jones's Infowars at auction

Infowars was auctioned as part of a defamation ruling after Jones falsely called the Sandy Hook School shooting a hoax.

www.bbc.co.uk

For less than one trillion dollars apparently:

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’

Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of...

theonion.com

 

[nakedfrog]

Reality has gotten so fucking weird this last decade.

 

[brycejones]

Jones was refusing to leave. Too bad they didn’t just shoot the trespasser.

 

[woolfe9998]

At first I thought this was an Onion article about the Onion buying Infowars, which would have been hilarious. But it's real, which makes it way more hilarious.

 

[esquared]

nes was refusing to leave. Too bad they didn’t just shoot the trespasser.

There's always the Russian way.
Defenestration.

 

[KMFJD]

lmao

'As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.

 

[JTsyo]

At first I thought this was an Onion article about the Onion buying Infowars, which would have been hilarious. But it's real, which makes it way more hilarious.

hmm since the the Onion owns InfoWars and they are a satire newspaper does that mean now InfoWars is going to be a hard-hitting actual news organization?

 

[amenx]

hmm since the the Onion owns InfoWars and they are a satire newspaper does that mean now InfoWars is going to be a hard-hitting actual news organization?

It'll just mean that nothing has changed. People wont be able to tell the difference.

 

[iRONic]

Turn it into a bastion of free speech! Rebrand the name…

The Peeled Onion

 

[IronWing]

Turn it into a bastion of free speech! Rebrand the name…

The Peeled Onion

Guest articles written by the InfoWars crowd! That would be weirder than anything The Onion writers could come up with.

 

[woolfe9998]

hmm since the the Onion owns InfoWars and they are a satire newspaper does that mean now InfoWars is going to be a hard-hitting actual news organization?

I would guess they would turn the site into a parody of conspiracy theories. Which the regular viewers who didn't get the memo about the ownership change will probably take seriously.

 

[HomerJS]

I hope it becomes the bastion of right wing ridicule. Headline: Trump's AG nominee Matt Gaetz caught fucking underage girls in the halls of Congress. Trump caught peeping into the room.

Mike Johnson applies to join the Satanists religion. Already meets requirements dumping beliefs for Trump

 

[Sonikku]

Blocked by Trump judge. Elon Musk now wading in as well. Will probably be allowed to buy it instead once the Judge overturns the sale.

 

[KMFJD]

Here's the Onion's resonse

Tim Onion (@bencollins.bsky.social)

Hi friends! I just wanted to give a quick update on The Onion’s purchase of InfoWars, which we can’t wait to relaunch as the dumbest website on the internet. The long and short of it: We won the auction and — you're not going to believe this — the previous InfoWars folks aren't taking it well.

bsky.app

just wanted to give a quick update on The Onion’s purchase of InfoWars, which we can’t wait to relaunch as the dumbest website on the internet.The long and short of it: We won the auction and — you're not going to believe this — the previous InfoWars folks aren't taking it well.

On Thursday, the person overseeing the auction told us that The Onion’s bid for InfoWars, along with the Connecticut Sandy Hook families, won.
We haven’t heard anything that changed that — except, of course, from the guys currently running InfoWars, doing InfoWars stuff..

There was a status conference with the judge overseeing the auction on Thursday, shortly after we were deemed winners.The judge had some questions about process and some assets. We’re glad he’s doing that, since our bid with the families is clearly the best and transparency is even better. We left the hearing with clear next steps to complete the sale. InfoWars’ current management asked to continue operating until then.We always knew the guys who currently run InfoWars were going to take this badly and use the loss to fundraise off of it, and they did not disappoint.

Obviously, when the current operators of InfoWars went back to operating as a business, they used that to falsely say the auction had been overturned and allege some truly wacky stuff. Something about Saul Alinsky? God bless ‘em.

We expected all of this, obviously. Buying this site was always going to be fun later on, but annoying right away. The fun part is still to come.