A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he has ever seen. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and asks, "Ess-tues me, sir?"
"Yes?" replies the clerk.
"Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?"
"Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound."
"SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing and then asks, "Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?"
"Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound."
"SSIT! tas' pensive," replies the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout your pikanns?"
"Pecans? They're on sale today, they're only four fifty a pound."
"Welp, Ssit. Just div me a pound of dose dhen."
"All right then," says the clerk as he begins bagging up a pound of pecans.
Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Tirr, I just wanna tay tank you fo not making fun of de way I talk, tauz I tan't hep it."
The clerk replies with a smile. "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of anybody. I don't know if you noticed but I have a rather large nose."
The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your dick since your nuts are so high."
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