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The monkey and the lizard

B

BigToque

Lifer
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past, looks up,and says to the monkey "Hey, what're you doing?"

The monkey replies, "Smokin' a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up the tree, sits next to the monkey, and they smoke a few joints.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and he's going to the river to get a drink.

The lizard climbs down the tree and staggers over to the river to get adrink of water, but he is so stoned, he leans over too far and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this, swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side.Then he asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting up in a tree witha monkey smoking pot, got too stoned and then fell into the river whiletaking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out, and wanders off into thejungle. He finds the tree where the monkey is sitting finishing up a joint.

The crocodile yells up to the monkey and says "Hey!"

The monkey looks down and says, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck........Dude! How much water did you drink?!"
 
At Utapao Air Force Base in Thailand during the Vietnam war, a maintenance squadron had a pet monkey and a large Python (Iron Mike and Pete the Snake). Every payday, they would charge admission to their hangar.

The show consisted of them throwing a chicken into the monkey cage. The monkey would have 'relations' with the chicken. Then they would put the chicken into the snake cage and the snake would eat it.

The money they collected went to a beer bash that night for everyone.
 
Then the crocodile climbed the tree, sat next to the monkey, and spanked him.



Originally posted by: Rastus
At Utapao Air Force Base in Thailand during the Vietnam war, a maintenance squadron had a pet monkey and a large Python (Iron Mike and Pete the Snake). Every payday, they would charge admission to their hangar.

The show consisted of them throwing a chicken into the monkey cage. The monkey would have 'relations' with the chicken. Then they would put the chicken into the snake cage and the snake would eat it.

The money they collected went to a beer bash that night for everyone.
Click to expand...

Hm....I need money over the summer to pay for college, and I don't mind being around snakes.....I think I have a way of making some easy money.

Is that what the world would be like though without movie theaters and DVDs? Or instead of the Super Bowl, we would watch 10 monkeys face off against 10 chickens. Hilarity ensues.
 
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