Mental Health Hotline
> >
> > "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"
> > If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
> > If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
> > If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
> > If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
> > line so we can trace your call.
> > If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
> > mother ship.
> > If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
> > you which number to press.
> > If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
> > No one will answer.
> > If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
> > If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a
> > representative comes on the line.
> > If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
> > number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
> > name.
> > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
> > memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> > If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy
> > to talk to you."
> > If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You
> > won't be crazy forever.
> > If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Jokersmoker
> >
> > "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"
> > If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
> > If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
> > If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
> > If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
> > line so we can trace your call.
> > If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
> > mother ship.
> > If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
> > you which number to press.
> > If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
> > No one will answer.
> > If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
> > If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a
> > representative comes on the line.
> > If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
> > number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
> > name.
> > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
> > memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> > If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy
> > to talk to you."
> > If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You
> > won't be crazy forever.
> > If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Jokersmoker
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