- Mar 9, 2005
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Well I was just sitting around early this morning after being awakened by a severe thunderstorm and it occurred to me that I should create a fan boy template. This would a general use template good for anything by simply filling in the blanks with the appropriate names and identifiers. I've seen far too much of it here lately and anyone who opposes the prevailing view either gets warned or banned no matter how much empirical evidence is supplied plus is subjected to sharp personal attacks by the defenders of the fan boy faith. So without further adieu lets get started and remember to have fun with it because I damn sure did.
Step 1: The Prerelease Hype
(Insert brand here) is releasing a new (insert product here) and it will absolutely rule when it hits the market. (Insert name of leading competitor here) will be crushed by the power of the awesomeness that is about to be unleased by (reiterate new product here) so everybody should preorder now because we all know it will just be a new level of fabulous. (In this section be sure to make ludicrous performance claims devoid of facts and littered with speculation and provide links to skewed projected performance claims to support your hyped angle). Personal attacks on anyone who might question your reasoning are permitted in this section.
Step 2: Defend the Product
In this section you must defend the honor of the product that is underperforming once it has been released. So what, your chosen product isn't quite living up to the prerelease hype from the manufacturer. This is your chance to abase any opposing views and locate skewed benchmarks or other supporting material to make you feel better about that prepurchase commitment you made sight unseen. Would you buy a new car without test driving it first? Would you buy a new washer and dryer without seeing some evidence that they can wash your clothes better than what you currently own? So why do you buy new hardware without getting some real world feedback first?
Its important to plan your responses ahead of time for when people with critical thinking skills start asking the hard questions or make valid points that a reasonable person cannot defend. This calls for extraordinary dedication to find every possible reason to justify the product and your decision to buy it. At this stage its important to call any person opposing your views a troll to incite support from other fan boys even if buyers remorse has set in.
Criterion For Performance:
Following up to ensure that your fan boy angle is prevailing is paramount to waging a successful campaign against the opposition. When anyone opposes your reasoning its important to emphasize they are trolling plus add even more skewed results completely ignoring any data sets that support their positions. Searching for outliers to support your position works well in this scenario. Remember to be diligent and don't allow any opposing post to go unanswered or you might lose the battle. Now go forth and prove your fan boy credentials.
Step 1: The Prerelease Hype
(Insert brand here) is releasing a new (insert product here) and it will absolutely rule when it hits the market. (Insert name of leading competitor here) will be crushed by the power of the awesomeness that is about to be unleased by (reiterate new product here) so everybody should preorder now because we all know it will just be a new level of fabulous. (In this section be sure to make ludicrous performance claims devoid of facts and littered with speculation and provide links to skewed projected performance claims to support your hyped angle). Personal attacks on anyone who might question your reasoning are permitted in this section.
Step 2: Defend the Product
In this section you must defend the honor of the product that is underperforming once it has been released. So what, your chosen product isn't quite living up to the prerelease hype from the manufacturer. This is your chance to abase any opposing views and locate skewed benchmarks or other supporting material to make you feel better about that prepurchase commitment you made sight unseen. Would you buy a new car without test driving it first? Would you buy a new washer and dryer without seeing some evidence that they can wash your clothes better than what you currently own? So why do you buy new hardware without getting some real world feedback first?
Its important to plan your responses ahead of time for when people with critical thinking skills start asking the hard questions or make valid points that a reasonable person cannot defend. This calls for extraordinary dedication to find every possible reason to justify the product and your decision to buy it. At this stage its important to call any person opposing your views a troll to incite support from other fan boys even if buyers remorse has set in.
Criterion For Performance:
Following up to ensure that your fan boy angle is prevailing is paramount to waging a successful campaign against the opposition. When anyone opposes your reasoning its important to emphasize they are trolling plus add even more skewed results completely ignoring any data sets that support their positions. Searching for outliers to support your position works well in this scenario. Remember to be diligent and don't allow any opposing post to go unanswered or you might lose the battle.
Now go forth and prove your fan boy credentials.
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