The difference between cats and dogs...

[MaxDSP]

Probably older than AYBABTU but just read it on another forum...

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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
2:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm.
Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his
safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

 

[MichaelD]

That's pretty funny! I am convinced that's EXACTLY how cats think. Why anyone would want such a vile thing for a pet is beyond me. Give me a stupid, slobbering doggie anyday!

 

[LAUST]

.

 

[MaxDSP]

He is obviously a half-wit.


hehehe....Most dogs look like idiots though...theyve got like a permanent stupid grin on their face (gotta love that)(except poodles...cant stand those ugly things)

 

[Zenmervolt]

Dog's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. They must be gods.

Cat's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. I must be a god.

ZV

 

[MaxDSP]

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Dog's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. They must be gods.

Cat's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. I must be a god.

ZV

LMAO...

 

[grrl]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
That's pretty funny! I am convinced that's EXACTLY how cats think. Why anyone would want such a vile thing for a pet is beyond me. Give me a stupid, slobbering doggie anyday!

I disagree. Give me sincere (even if devious) over stupid slobbering anyday.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: grrl

Originally posted by: MichaelD
That's pretty funny! I am convinced that's EXACTLY how cats think. Why anyone would want such a vile thing for a pet is beyond me. Give me a stupid, slobbering doggie anyday!

I disagree. Give me sincere (even if devious) over stupid slobbering anyday.

... how exactly can you be sincere and devious?

 

[ohtwell]

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Dog's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. They must be gods.

Cat's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. I must be a god.

ZV

Hehehehe!!


: ) Amanda

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: grrl

Originally posted by: MichaelD
That's pretty funny! I am convinced that's EXACTLY how cats think. Why anyone would want such a vile thing for a pet is beyond me. Give me a stupid, slobbering doggie anyday!

I disagree. Give me sincere (even if devious) over stupid slobbering anyday.

... how exactly can you be sincere and devious?

You've never met my son's mother (you are lucky) She is sincerely devious in her repeated attempts to ruin me professionally and financially.

 

[pennylane]

Originally posted by: LAUST

Originally posted by: MichaelD
That's pretty funny! I am convinced that's EXACTLY how cats think. Why anyone would want such a vile thing for a pet is beyond me. Give me a stupid, slobbering doggie anyday!

 

[Spamela]

more, more.

this is too true.

 

[Pliablemoose]

If my freaking Yahoo Photos wasn't crashed, I'd post a pic of my sunburned hairless cat (we left him in the yard for about an hour today)... He looks pretty sad

 

[LAUST]

.

 

[MaxDSP]

Originally posted by: LAUST

Originally posted by: MaxDSP
He is obviously a half-wit.


hehehe....Most dogs look like idiots though...theyve got like a permanent stupid grin on their face (gotta love that)(except poodles...cant stand those ugly things)

Say hi to Goose

Hey Goose.... Max just said you have a stupid grin on your face, Oh I do huh Max??

LMAO...

/me runs for life

 

[LAUST]

.

 

[theNEOone]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: grrl

Originally posted by: MichaelD
That's pretty funny! I am convinced that's EXACTLY how cats think. Why anyone would want such a vile thing for a pet is beyond me. Give me a stupid, slobbering doggie anyday!

I disagree. Give me sincere (even if devious) over stupid slobbering anyday.

... how exactly can you be sincere and devious?

You've never met my son's mother (you are lucky) She is sincerely devious in her repeated attempts to ruin me professionally and financially.

ah yes, that's what i want. a cat that reminds me of my mother in law. yay!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LAUST]

.

 

[tk149]

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: MaxDSP

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Dog's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. They must be gods.

Cat's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. I must be a god.

ZV

LMAO...

ROLMAOLOL!!


ahahha that diary is also freakin hilarious...ahahhahahah pets just rule don't they?


i couldn't help it..i just had to post this one to REMIND everyone how EVIL cats are!

 

[MaxDSP]

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP

Originally posted by: MaxDSP

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Dog's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. They must be gods.

Cat's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. I must be a god.

ZV

LMAO...

ROLMAOLOL!!


ahahha that diary is also freakin hilarious...ahahhahahah pets just rule don't they?


i couldn't help it..i just had to post this one to REMIND everyone how EVIL cats are!

Fixed Link

damn newbie

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: MaxDSP

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP

Originally posted by: MaxDSP

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Dog's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. They must be gods.

Cat's logic: These people feed me, give me attention, keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, clean up after me, and put up with all sorts of my crap. I must be a god.

ZV

LMAO...

ROLMAOLOL!!


ahahha that diary is also freakin hilarious...ahahhahahah pets just rule don't they?


i couldn't help it..i just had to post this one to REMIND everyone how EVIL cats are!

Fixed Link

damn newbie

rofl oops

WTF IS THIS!!!!

 

[zbalat]

How can you not like me?

 

[Entity]

Slobbering, yes. Stupid, probably. Definitely better than a cat, though.

oooooooo. bath. bummer.



Rob

 

[stormbv]

LOL...so true.