The Clownery has begun!

[Fanatical Meat]

Went to Home Depot to exchange some paint. Woman doing the return has dishwashing gloves on and basically wouldn’t touch anything. When she asked me to type in my name & license number on the pos computer I said how about I wait for someone else to do this.

*asshole if you are that concerned call out sick*

Minutes later I see a woman shouting for help getting some tape(?) off the shelf, she can’t reach it because she has her arms in a trash bag using it as a giant glove. She was also wearing a cheap non N95 mask and sunglasses/eye shield thing.

*asshole if you are that concerned your painting project can wait*

Finally I just received this promo email. Here’s the story:
About a year ago I ordered something....errr.....intimate for my wife from this place. Arrived and it was cheap Chinese crap that was sized comically small. The clothing was sized for a pre teen girl. I felt creepy looking at it.
Back to today here’s what they emailed me



Assholes, if you wear something like that
a) it’s not effective
b) you look like an asshole
c) you are not an “influencer”

 

[highland145]

Talked with one of my old bosses. In his son's office, they're having the customer leave the $$ on the counter and set a printer up so they can get their own receipt. Then clean the counter when they leave. Told him that I just stopped licking the $100 bills.

If I'm dead next week, it's likely that my wife murdered me.

 

[darkswordsman17]

Wait, she asked you to type it in? On their side or your side? Don't they just have a keypad? What the fuck did they need your name an license number for? Were you buying a shovel, bag of lime, and a variety of saws? Wait, lemme guess you were just buying a bottle of vinegar? Or are they tracking assholes buying up all the TP? Or were you relaying your tentacle rape monster story to her?

She probably couldn't/afford to.

You should've helped her you fucking asshole. Reach up there, then lick it, then hand it to her, like a gentleman.

At first I was like, so you're saying those glow in the dark condoms fit your micropenis? But then...yeah like that wasn't your intention. I'm guessing it was a Japanese school girl outfit and you were roleplaying as some tentacle rape monster?

a) But they in da club!
b) The mask likely wouldn't change that
c) Says the tentacle rape monster roleplaying pervert that didn't lick the woman's tape!

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Wait, you think she was sick and should have called-in?

I took her to be a person without the virus wearing gloves in an effort to not get the virus? The problem is gloves are a dumb concept, people still touch their face even with them on.

 

[Fanatical Meat]

Wait, she asked you to type it in? On their side or your side? Don't they just have a keypad? What the fuck did they need your name an license number for? Were you buying a shovel, bag of lime, and a variety of saws? Wait, lemme guess you were just buying a bottle of vinegar? Or are they tracking assholes buying up all the TP? Or were you relaying your tentacle rape monster story to her?

She probably couldn't/afford to.

You should've helped her you fucking asshole. Reach up there, then lick it, then hand it to her, like a gentleman.

At first I was like, so you're saying those glow in the dark condoms fit your micropenis? But then...yeah like that wasn't your intention. I'm guessing it was a Japanese school girl outfit and you were roleplaying as some tentacle rape monster?

a) But they in da club!
b) The mask likely wouldn't change that
c) Says the tentacle rape monster roleplaying pervert that didn't lick the woman's tape!

Home Depot thing, counter is a shared area and for some reason they like to assign an ID to a store credit

 

[Fanatical Meat]

Wait, she asked you to type it in? On their side or your side? Don't they just have a keypad? What the fuck did they need your name an license number for? Were you buying a shovel, bag of lime, and a variety of saws? Wait, lemme guess you were just buying a bottle of vinegar? Or are they tracking assholes buying up all the TP? Or were you relaying your tentacle rape monster story to her?

She probably couldn't/afford to.

You should've helped her you fucking asshole. Reach up there, then lick it, then hand it to her, like a gentleman.

At first I was like, so you're saying those glow in the dark condoms fit your micropenis? But then...yeah like that wasn't your intention. I'm guessing it was a Japanese school girl outfit and you were roleplaying as some tentacle rape monster?

a) But they in da club!
b) The mask likely wouldn't change that
c) Says the tentacle rape monster roleplaying pervert that didn't lick the woman's tape!

No I won't do someones job who is at work but not working. That's f'ing dumb.

 

[Newbian]

No I won't do someones job who is at work but not working. That's f'ing dumb.

More then likely they were letting you enter your own personal information however as it was said requiring your license number for anything like store account info is stupid as other then some kind of little store key chain card to scan or a phone number should be all they need for those to get discounts.

 

[feralkid]

More then likely they were letting you enter your own personal information however as it was said requiring your license number for anything like store account info is stupid as other then some kind of little store key chain card to scan or a phone number should be all they need for those to get discounts.

Here, I have some extras: ,,, ....

 

[Fanatical Meat]

More then likely they were letting you enter your own personal information however as it was said requiring your license number for anything like store account info is stupid as other then some kind of little store key chain card to scan or a phone number should be all they need for those to get discounts.

I have been to home depot hundreds of times, I have never been asked to type in my info ever. She was being overly concerned and as I said if it is that big of a deal don't come into work. Going into work to not touch ANYTHING is the same as not being there.

 

[Red Squirrel]

They need to just shut stuff down, it's ridiculous keeping so many places open. If we're going to do a social distancing then we need to actually do it with no exceptions. Well other than ACTUAL essential services. As much as it's nice to know I can still go to Home Depot or something if I need to, I would rather just see those places close too.

Speaking of which I noticed they have more self checkouts now, but some of them look like a normal cash. I felt weird using it like "am I suppose to be doing this?". There were no actual cashiers around. I normally don't use them.