Well, I'm a freshman at UCSC and I've lived a pretty normal life up to about 3 days ago... You see, I don't drink nor smoke, but people that do somehow get drawn to me.
Let's start out with my roommate... (all names are changed to protect the innocent)
He's a pretty smart guy... CE major like myself... really philosophical... BUT he has an insatiable thirst for beating this guy across the hall. The guy across the hall is supposedly one of those geniuses in college who don't have to study. My roommate will be referred to as Bob... The guy across the hall will be refered to as Jimbo. Going back to Jimbo, he was supposedly accepted to Dartmouth but didn't go because he was afraid his girlfriend would find out because she wasn't accepted, so I guess that would have been a problem. Well, Bob's bestfriend from high school, we shall refer to her as Sally, is really into Jimbo because he is so "smart." IN reality Jimbo looks so ept at everything he does because he only does things that he's ept at. He plays Tribes... no one plays Tribes [here]... I invite him to play Quake3, I murder him in Quake3, he asks to play Tribes and threatens me to find Tribes so he could beat me in it. He says I play Quake3 TOO MUCH, and that's why I beat him.
Well, case in point, Bob doesn't want Sally to like Jimbo, because Jimbo is a con artist. Bob tries to prove that he is a better man than Jimbo by outdrinking him.. They play a game called "1500," which means you drink as much as 80 proof hard liquor as you can until you reach 1500, but of course, they both did. So they had a drink off. Jimbo is about 60 pounds heavier than Bob, but Bob drank more than he did this time. Bob has 22.5 shots... Bob passed out on the bathroom floor. I find Bob on the bathroom floor... You see, I thought he was joking around... but no.. he was covered in his own vomit... Great, I said. I got his friends to drag his carcass back to the room... he reaches his top bunk in a drunken stupor and somehow utters the phrase, bathroom!, so they take him back... he hurls some more in the shower stall.. he tells his friend that is holding onto him to let go, his friend does...
Bob slams face first into the raised edge of the shower tub... He nearly breaks his nose and loses his two upper FRONT teeth... He starts to bleed profusely... The night proctor comes... The proctor sees Bob and calls the EMT... The EMT arrives...
Here is the conversation:
EMT: I hear you've been drinking...
Bob: Yes, but not that much...
EMT: How much?
Bob: Oh.. about 5 shots...
EMT: How long ago?
Bob: About 7 hours ago...
EMT: BUt you are still drunk..
Bob: Oh.. that's because I have suicidal depression because of the acne medicine I am taking...
EMT: What?
(The conversation goes on from there, but eventually he signs a waiver not to be taken to the hospital)
This is my first story in a line of many... Don't Drink... if you do, Don't end up like Bob.
Let's start out with my roommate... (all names are changed to protect the innocent)
He's a pretty smart guy... CE major like myself... really philosophical... BUT he has an insatiable thirst for beating this guy across the hall. The guy across the hall is supposedly one of those geniuses in college who don't have to study. My roommate will be referred to as Bob... The guy across the hall will be refered to as Jimbo. Going back to Jimbo, he was supposedly accepted to Dartmouth but didn't go because he was afraid his girlfriend would find out because she wasn't accepted, so I guess that would have been a problem. Well, Bob's bestfriend from high school, we shall refer to her as Sally, is really into Jimbo because he is so "smart." IN reality Jimbo looks so ept at everything he does because he only does things that he's ept at. He plays Tribes... no one plays Tribes [here]... I invite him to play Quake3, I murder him in Quake3, he asks to play Tribes and threatens me to find Tribes so he could beat me in it. He says I play Quake3 TOO MUCH, and that's why I beat him.
Well, case in point, Bob doesn't want Sally to like Jimbo, because Jimbo is a con artist. Bob tries to prove that he is a better man than Jimbo by outdrinking him.. They play a game called "1500," which means you drink as much as 80 proof hard liquor as you can until you reach 1500, but of course, they both did. So they had a drink off. Jimbo is about 60 pounds heavier than Bob, but Bob drank more than he did this time. Bob has 22.5 shots... Bob passed out on the bathroom floor. I find Bob on the bathroom floor... You see, I thought he was joking around... but no.. he was covered in his own vomit... Great, I said. I got his friends to drag his carcass back to the room... he reaches his top bunk in a drunken stupor and somehow utters the phrase, bathroom!, so they take him back... he hurls some more in the shower stall.. he tells his friend that is holding onto him to let go, his friend does...
Bob slams face first into the raised edge of the shower tub... He nearly breaks his nose and loses his two upper FRONT teeth... He starts to bleed profusely... The night proctor comes... The proctor sees Bob and calls the EMT... The EMT arrives...
Here is the conversation:
EMT: I hear you've been drinking...
Bob: Yes, but not that much...
EMT: How much?
Bob: Oh.. about 5 shots...
EMT: How long ago?
Bob: About 7 hours ago...
EMT: BUt you are still drunk..
Bob: Oh.. that's because I have suicidal depression because of the acne medicine I am taking...
EMT: What?
(The conversation goes on from there, but eventually he signs a waiver not to be taken to the hospital)
This is my first story in a line of many... Don't Drink... if you do, Don't end up like Bob.
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