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The Charleton Heston Theory

yukichigai

yukichigai

Diamond Member
When I first heard this a while ago I thought it was great. Let me share.

The Charleton Heston Theroy

The theory is pretty basic: given any line spoken by Charleton Heston in a movie there is a 95% chance you can add a Coordinating Conjunction (For And Nor But Or Yet So) or a Semicolon-Conjunctive Adverb (e.g. "...; However, ...") followed by the phrase "I'll blow your damn head off" (allowing changes for grammar) and the meaning and tone of the line will remain unchanged. Sound confusing? Some examples:

  • "Let my people go, or I'll blow your damn head off."
  • "Get you hands off me you damn, dirty apes, or I'll blow your damn heads off!"
  • "Soylent green is people; I'll blow your damn heads off!"
As you can see, the tone rarely changes.

There's also a corrolary with Samuel L. Jackson.

The Samuel L. Jackson Corrolary

This one is much simpler. I've found that adding "muthaf%$#a" to the end of any line spoken by Samuel L. Jackson in a movie works, again, 95% of the time. Hell, I think most of us are doing that subconsciously(sp?).

  • "This party is over muthaf%$#a."
  • "That is one tasty burger muthaf%$#a."
  • "You are not in control muthaf%$#a!


Discuss. 😀
 
Originally posted by: maziwanka
Originally posted by: igowerf
You put a lot of effort into nicely formatting that post.
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yes and i commend you for that. give that man a good rating (if he has it enabled)
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Heh, didn't even realize I had spent any time on the format. Guess all those stupid History reports I had to do in Junior High paid off. 😀
 
Originally posted by: CanOWorms
you should be awarded a Nobel Prize for this discovery
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Already tried. I got beat out by some guy who found a way to infuse Beta Carotine(sp?) into rice so the poor nations of the world could get the nutrition they need. Bah, like that's better than this.
 
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