the Canadian Mounties are on the lookout for a dildo thief...

[Random Variable]

The Mounties are on the hunt for a man who made off with three vibrators from a suburban adult entertainment store.

Police say late Thursday night the man was browsing the aisles of the store when a clerk saw him stuff the vibrators into his clothing.

"The clerk clearly witnessed the male fumbling and stuffing three expensive battery operated male appendages in his clothing and decided to intercept this shoplifter," the RCMP said in a news release on Friday.

"The employee asked the male if he was going to need batteries for these objects. The male calmly stated 'No,' and then panicked and fled, running out of the store with the three objects, minus batteries."

Police described the suspect as about 22-years-old, standing five-foot-six and weighing 150 pounds, with a thin moustache and short sandy blond hair.

http://www.canada.com/vancouve...4700-8097-bb92efecf8af

 

[aplefka]

wonder what he needed them for

 

[SSP]

Why isn't Vancouver Police handling this case?

 

[Bootprint]

Originally posted by: aplefka
wonder what he needed them for

They'll reappear in the underground adult toy ring in Texas. I hear they frown on pot down there, but things get nasty when it comes to dildos.

 

[Brutuskend]

Case solved!

 

[Bootprint]

Originally posted by: SSP
Why isn't Vancouver Police handling this case?

Maybe they're like the Abbotsford police and don't give a crap about crimes that don't put money into the goverment coffers.

 

[Iron Woode]

The Mounties always get their man!

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Case solved!

:laugh:

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: aplefka
wonder what he needed three of them for

Fixed.

 

[Bootprint]

These girls wanted for a school song routine.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Case solved!

:laugh:

Um, where are the other two?

 

[IAteYourMother]

...

 

[UNCjigga]

The Fuzz, MOUNTies, dildos...too many jokes in this story.

 

[GoingUp]

at least he didnt try to smuggle them out in his ass

 

[lavagirl669]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Case solved!

LMAO
*he ate the other 2 right?*

 

[Bootprint]

Originally posted by: Gobadgrs
at least he didnt try to smuggle them out in his ass

Sort of like that woman who stole a cellphone, and tried to hide it on her person. It's kind of difficult to explain why a ringing noise is coming from your crotch.