The Buffalo Theory

[RichPLS]

It's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest one. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back of the herd that are killed off first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the overall general health of the herd improves over time.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, we know that excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain ceels, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, fellas, is why you always feel smarter after having a few beers.

Now exuse me if you will, I need to go grab a cold beer!!!

 

[Toastedlightly]

 

[RichPLS]

But be forewarned...

for you also have a higher risk of having to naw your own arm off to avoid waking the Coyotte Ugly you may find yourself beside when morning comes.

 

[Wanescotting]

I think the alcohol has started attacking the good brain cells in your case...............

 

[SacrosanctFiend]

If only it worked that way...if only.

 

[ultravox]

Norm said that on CHEERS

 

[Squisher]

I like the way you think.

 

[RichPLS]

Types of sex

SOCIAL SECURTIY SEX
Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special, I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on."

 

[RichPLS]

Hallway Sex

Heard of a couple when they were young and first married they had sex everywhere in the house, after 20 years they have hallway sex,- as they pass in the hallway they say fvck you to each other.

 

[RichPLS]

Old woman hauls off and slaps her old husband. Old man asks why she slapped him. She said it was for 53 years of lousy sex. He thought for a bit then slapped her just as hard. She asks why he did that. He said it was for knowing the difference.

 

[RichPLS]

Man and wife out for dinner

totally hot babe walks over and slaps a big ole wet one on the ole boy (might even have slipped him the tongue)! and walks away with a "see you later" and a wink.

Wife is instant mad! "WHO WAS THAT?"

Tired of living a lie the man answers, "My mistress!"

" I want a divorce!"

Man says fine! Just realize that that will mean that you will no longer have summers in the Med, winter skiing in Vail, the country club, etc.... No more unlimited credit card limit."

ABout that time another young babe walks over and slaps a lip lock on another fellow who is there friend.

The wife says and who was THAT kissing Bob?"

"His mistress."

The wife continues eating and locks up as the young lady and says,
"Our mistress is much prettier isn't she?"

 

[xSauronx]

christ, stop spamming

 

[RichPLS]

Jesus I'm not, but thanx for looking up at me like that.